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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I need some advice. When my boyfriend used to live on his own he was far more independent than he is now. About a year ago we decided to live with my parents (so we can save money) and move forward with our relationship, got engaged, and eventually get married.
However, my boyfriend does not follow the “rules” of my parents’ house. I keep telling him to clean up after himself, and ask my parents before he invites people over, because it’s not my house, and they are just doing us a favor by allowing us to stay here so we can save money. So we need to respect that.
The other issue is that he spends his money like crazy. I am currently in school and I work in retail part-time (so I don’t make a lot of money) I keep telling him that we need to set a weekly budget or monthly budget because we can’t just buy everything we like. How are we going to move out and live on our own? We usually end up fighting because his attitude is “Don’t worry about it”, but I am getting annoyed because I do worry about it. My parents are not rich, neither am I, I am getting annoyed of repeating myself to him because he acts like he is 18 and it’s not fair to me or to my parents. Any advice?
Yes. Kick him out. He is nowhere near mature enough to be considering marriage.
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
More couples go through divorces about money than cheating. It's the real marriage killer. Once you get married you'll have a different view of money and you'll need someone in the marriage as the treasurer or else it'll end the marriage.
Money, sex and attention issues are the three top killers of a relationship.
My guess is that he doesn't really want to get married...if he actually saves, he'll have to. Why not spend the money you're saving him by living with your parents?...he figures it is his money! He is disrespecting you and your parents and you can't make him save so it may be time to give an ultimatum.
Sounds like you two had one set up before. You both lived independently while dating. Then you two moved in with your parents. Maybe the expectations became too much for him. Its one thing to talk about how much you would love to get married. Marriage can make for a wonderfully romantic conversation when the two people involved feel like its some way off fantasy. Then you two move in with your parents, he becomes restricted by rules, gets an up close look at you and your parents. And now it seems like its becoming too much for him.
My wife and I talked about marriage often while we dated. I lived alone and she lived with her college roommate. When it was time to kick our plans into gear I moved back with my parents to save money. It was stressful. It was uncomfortable. Most of all it forced me to really be decisive about my plans. I had to put all the romantic ideas aside and take a sober look at my relationship and my plans for the future. If I wasn't really serious about marriage that would have been my breaking point. It sounds like that's what happening with your boyfriend.
That doesn't mean he never wants to marry you. It just seems like he doesn't want it right now. Be very honest with yourself as make the next series of moves.
We have been living together for a while. I love him. I am scared to lose him, even though I know he is not responsible enough to save his money, and most importantly I am afraid that if I tell him to break him I won't know how to deal with it. I'm scared I might do something stupid.
You're 28 and can't figure out he's a loser, he's 33 without enough money to move out?
Good lord ... there is so much lose here..
Being a 28 year old full time student doesn't give you the right to be the "poor college student"
If you want to be a college student in your lage 20s go ahead ... but Learn to support yourself. You don't have the right to control your boyfriends spending habits. Make your own money and find a full time job outside of retail. This is your fault too, don't act like the boyfriend is bad because you can't support yourself
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