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I don't know why anyone would ask whether you married him for money--after all you said in your first post that for most of your marriage you made more than him.
I can see why it would be difficult to ask him for help when for so long you didn't need any.
Just talk honestly with him about this...and good luck to you.
Of course, my husband is aware of everything! No, I didn't marry him for the money. As I said in my original post, a lot of our money has gone to help parents' financially b/c of illness and so forth. He is definitely an asset to me!
Thank goodness you recognize him as an asset and not a liability and your marriage foundation is not monetary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
All our other expenses are fine and within control - it's just having to pay for so long - and I guess I feel "honor your mother and father" - my husband knows all about it and he just says - "Oh, business will pick up - stuff like that - but I worry where is the next payment coming from? (for my mom's expenses - nothing else).
I'm happy that all other expenses are fine and within control. "Honoring your parents" is an excellent statement and I presume just from this statement you are a excellent child, mother and spouse. I side with your husband, business must pick it up. What type of business are you in; LLC or corporation? Speak to an accountant you trust with your dearly life to explain how you could absorb and assimilate your sick parent into company liability. There is nothing ilegal about it but some say there is a thin line between right and wrong. That should remove the stress from you and your spouse. Don't stress yourself, I am new into self-employment and I'm just beginning to learn the robes. I conjure these was a mistake from the beginning- parent must have been included wholly and not partially into company liability. It must stay that way until death or cessation of the company.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
I just feel awful b/c in most family situations, children are not expected to pay for their parents and now my husband has been brought into this. ...... Also, I am blind in one eye, limited sight in the other so it's not like I can go out and get the most wonderful job in the world - I have to be realistic.
Children are obligated from were I come from to pay for parents expenses when they are old and feasible. Your husband if he is as good as you based on the assumption I made above, he must realize he like you has 2 moms and 2 dads. [ Biological and in-law if you didn't understand what I meant]. It comes with the territory!
Accept my sympathy towards your blindness but thank God you still have the motivation to succeed as a child, mother and spouse. Take life as it comes and don't worry but trust me; try to absorb and assimilate this responsibility into company liability as fast as your can..... Put it this way; less worry means less stress. Hence longer life to live to see your great grand kids. Hurry to your accountant if not you may miss the opportunity to see your great grand kids walk for the first time.
The funny thing is - my husband is a CPA - self employed! He was not self employed when we got married; he was working for a major corporation.
He kind of inherited the parent/financial help thing. My brother and I were self employed (already existing) when we began dating, then married. We write off whatever we can but it has always come from a company I owned - I still own a company but business has been slow. I am steady but I can see things won't be as good as they were. We have big (business) expenses coming up in the future so I am trying to cut wherever I can.
We just installed a new computer system - all networked and so forth - so, hopefully, this will help streamline things along the way. I'll just take it month to month.
The funny thing is - my husband is a CPA - self employed! He was not self employed when we got married; he was working for a major corporation.
He kind of inherited the parent/financial help thing. My brother and I were self employed (already existing) when we began dating, then married. We write off whatever we can but it has always come from a company I owned - I still own a company but business has been slow. I am steady but I can see things won't be as good as they were. We have big (business) expenses coming up in the future so I am trying to cut wherever I can.
We just installed a new computer system - all networked and so forth - so, hopefully, this will help streamline things along the way. I'll just take it month to month.
Then no need to run to an accountant like I said in my previous post if your husband is a CPA.
Networking is a good step towards increasing your assets. Trust me I have setup network computers; servers and peripherals for years now. I see the cost benefits in my own home.
Last edited by npumcrisz; 02-16-2008 at 09:05 PM..
Reason: sp
Are you in the marriage for money?
Do you really love him or do you treat the relationship as a 'corporation"?
Is he a liability or an asset?
Solid and accurate questions with answers from you should encourage you to talk to him without hesitation about this minute problem.
PS personally I don't so much like the choice of your wording. Thank goodness for anonymity on CD because if I was your husband I would seek at least a divorce or less preferably separation.
Bette, After 25 years together I doubt that your husband would even raise an eyebrow if you asked him to take care of your mom's expenses for a while. He will probably welcome the opportunity to be a financially helpful to you as you have been to him in the past.
I can understand your felling, but I think it has more to do with you than your husband. I am also a financially independant woman who would live on bread and water before I would ever ask anyone to pay my way. Put the shoe on the other foot. If your husband's business was slow and he needed help wouldn't you welcome the opportunity to make his life just a little bit easier? I'll bet he feels the same way about you!
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Two Breadwinners - Part Two
