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BF and I live together for 3 years. We were planning on taking a week off soon to Colorado. I've never been and he knows how much I wanna see the mountains and towns like Aspen and Vail, etc.
He wanted to do a lot of activities during the trip: cycling; rafting, hiking, etc. I thought the plan was that we were gonna stay at a hotel and do these activities during the day, and then have the night to relax, have a nice dinner, etc.
Today, 2 weeks b/f we were supposed to go, he tells me what he had planned was a cycling trip. We would fly there, rent a bike for a week, only take ONE backpack and cycle the whole day while staying in hotels at night to sleep.
This is very much out of my comfort zone. I only learned how to ride a bike a few weeks ago (he taught me) and the idea of doing a week-long, high altitude mountains trip scares me. I'm not an experienced rider at all (we'll be riding a tandem). Moreover, I have school work for online classes and not being able to take my laptop concerns me.
I also want to add that I'm very very scared of flying because I was in a small flight accident as a child. He knows this and wants to make the experience more difficult for me by booking 5 flights total. I can overlook that, but still...
The most upsetting thing of all is my job. I recently started a new part-time job. It is not exactly in my field, but I'm enjoying it and I'm saving money for tuition. B/c he was very insistent on traveling in July I asked my boss if it was ok for me to take the week off. I felt very uneasy about doing that, given how little I've been there, but he said it was fine. So that will be 5 full days where I won't be there - days I won't get paid obviously.
Now he asked me to take an EXTRA DAY off, so that we could leave Friday earlier b/c the prices are cheaper for the flights. I told him I don't feel comfortable doing that and he says "it's just a part time job, it's not a big deal". I also told him that me going on this trip w/ him means I will be losing money I could be making at work. He, on the other hand, has a paid vacation so maybe he just doesn't get it.
When I explain to him that I don't get paid if I don't show up to work, he says that he could also be saving money by not taking me. He will be paying for 100% of the trip. I did offer to contribute, but he insisted for me not to. Most trips he does cover it full, so that I can afford to contribute to our living expenses.
I don't think it's fair that just b/c he's paying for the trip my job is no longer important. He invited me for this trip, I never asked to go or suggested it...He's not willing to compromise to try to make the trip more enjoyable for me also.
Frankly, after this, I'm starting to think the option of staying home working and making money, avoiding flying, is more appealing. Should I stay home after all of this or am I overreacting?
Tell him exactly what you are telling us. He's the one who needs to know what you are thinking.
I don't see the problem. You inform him that you will get a car at the airport and he can tell you where he will be that night and you meet him at the hotel. if he has never ridden a bike in Colorado, I suspect he will change his mind about the bike ride after the first day when you have to drive out to pick him up.
In the meantime, you drive and go sight seeing and meet him for dinner and the overnight stay.
There is absolutely no excuse to whine or to get passive aggressive. Just calmly inform him that you have decided that is the best way for you to enjoy the vacation; that you want to enjoy your vacation with him but that you know you can not do the long bicycle ride and therefore you will not ride the bicycle.
And get yourself into therapy or get some tranquilizers or whatever it takes for you to get control over the flying issue. Fear of flying basically cripples you and limits where you can go. It's your life, manage it so that you can enjoy it.
This is a dangerous trip. I lived in CO for 3 years. The altitude is no joke. I wouldn't go. I would stay home and rethink my relationship.
He is putting his interest above her safety and employment. And then puts the claim he paid for it. **** yes you better have, it is your trip and she is a side piece.
He booked a "him" trip, not a couples trip. And he's being an ass to you, to boot.
Who in the hell would want to go cycling in the mountains with somebody who just learned how to ride a bike? And who in the hell pushes the issue of flying with somebody who's been involved in an aeronautical mishap and doesn't want to do that? And, who in the hell declines somebody financially contributing, and then throws it back in the person's face that it would be so much cheaper to just do the trip solo?
Not only no but hell no. I grew up cycling the rockies. It's not for the faint of heart or for those not in really great shape. You will absolutely hate it. Nothing good is going to come from this. Let him ride a day or two to get it out of his system.
Not only no but hell no. I grew up cycling the rockies. It's not for the faint of heart or for those not in really great shape. You will absolutely hate it. Nothing good is going to come from this. Let him ride a day or two to get it out of his system.
He says he's gonna go the entire week by himself if I don't wanna join. Oh well, I can't stop him and at least I'll be home making money.
He says he's gonna go the entire week by himself if I don't wanna join. Oh well, I can't stop him and at least I'll be home making money.
And not wobbling around on a bicycle trying to get enough oxygen.
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