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This question is mainly for the women here, but men are free to answer, especially if you feel the same way as me. My question is this. Do you find a lack of ambition to be a big turnoff?
I have a steady job that's respectable and I make a very comfortable income. Normally, someone with my years of experience in my field would be further up the ladder in a managerial type role. But I've never aspired to be in a position of leadership. I'm quite content doing the job I have. Like I said, it pays well and leaves me a lot of free time to pursue other interests. Although I don't have any real passion for it, it suits my needs and current goals. But I wonder if that lack of drive hurts me in the dating market. There are days I wish I were more of a Type A person who's ambitious and working hard to move up the ranks. Maybe if I made less money, I'd have that motivation. But I can't force myself to be something I'm not. If a guy is content with what he has, I would think that would be a plus. Am I wrong?
If you are asking that for yourself, then the answer is no, you are not wrong. 'To thine own self be true', yadda, yadda.
If you are asking in the context of meeting and dating for the opportunity to find a mate, you are going to find the answer to be an emphatic 'YES'!*
Think of it from a female perspective. Not many of them are invading houses, looking in basements for potential life mates who are only driven to be the next Playstation/XBox hero.
*the caveat here is if the OP is able to find another person with a similar outlook on life.
This question is mainly for the women here, but men are free to answer, especially if you feel the same way as me. My question is this. Do you find a lack of ambition to be a big turnoff?
I have a steady job that's respectable and I make a very comfortable income. Normally, someone with my years of experience in my field would be further up the ladder in a managerial type role. But I've never aspired to be in a position of leadership. I'm quite content doing the job I have. Like I said, it pays well and leaves me a lot of free time to pursue other interests. Although I don't have any real passion for it, it suits my needs and current goals. But I wonder if that lack of drive hurts me in the dating market. There are days I wish I were more of a Type A person who's ambitious and working hard to move up the ranks. Maybe if I made less money, I'd have that motivation. But I can't force myself to be something I'm not. If a guy is content with what he has, I would think that would be a plus. Am I wrong?
Sorry as a bloke ( lol ) I like her to have ambition or a goal of course as it shows drive, but I'm more turned off if it's not a realistic ambition or goal .... Basically something that's not realistically going to happen
Personally for me your situation sounds ideal to date as you are, as you have a good and steady job ( it sounds ) and above all you have lots of free time to spend either with me or doing whatever else you fancy
As long as you can pay your way ( dating and especially when things get serious ) that's ALL that matters
Personally for me your situation sounds ideal to date as you are, as you have a good and steady job ( it sounds ) and above all you have lots of free time to spend either with me or doing whatever else you fancy
Again I think you're fine
I agree with this. I don't consider not choosing the rise up the corporate ladder to be a lack of ambition. So in this case, this would not be a deal breaker for me.
Now, if you had no ambition in other aspects of your life - like you were content to do nothing other than sit and watch movies all day long, for example, that WOULD be a deal breaker for me.,
I agree with this. I don't consider not choosing the rise up the corporate ladder to be a lack of ambition. So in this case, this would not be a deal breaker for me.
I think there is some gray area to explore here.
If it is a matter that someone is not actively pursuing career opportunities because they are happy with the job/role they currently have, I agree with your statement.
However, if the person is being offered opportunities because management recognizes their potential and they turn those opportunities down, then I stand by my original statement.
There is that old adage about being promoted beyond one's capabilities, but to turn down opportunities handed to someone on a silver platter seems...distasteful.
I don't know if this is the case with the OP, as the context may be lacking.
I agree with this. I don't consider not choosing the rise up the corporate ladder to be a lack of ambition. So in this case, this would not be a deal breaker for me.
Now, if you had no ambition in other aspects of your life - like you were content to do nothing other than sit and watch movies all day long, for example, that WOULD be a deal breaker for me.,
Agreed
My job and title never ever gets mentioned negatively in terms of dating and I've had plenty of chance to move upstairs but on the deck ( or 600ft in the air lol ) with the boys is where's it's at and the £££ is actually better than sitting on my arse and getting the flack LOL..
So just proves that it's not always better or beneficial to be higher at times
This question is mainly for the women here, but men are free to answer, especially if you feel the same way as me. My question is this. Do you find a lack of ambition to be a big turnoff?
I have a steady job that's respectable and I make a very comfortable income. Normally, someone with my years of experience in my field would be further up the ladder in a managerial type role. But I've never aspired to be in a position of leadership. I'm quite content doing the job I have. Like I said, it pays well and leaves me a lot of free time to pursue other interests. Although I don't have any real passion for it, it suits my needs and current goals. But I wonder if that lack of drive hurts me in the dating market. There are days I wish I were more of a Type A person who's ambitious and working hard to move up the ranks. Maybe if I made less money, I'd have that motivation. But I can't force myself to be something I'm not. If a guy is content with what he has, I would think that would be a plus. Am I wrong?
I don't think lack of ambition is limited to TYPE A people. I have always thought it was very attractive if a man wanted/could take care of me. By what you've said, you're salary is adequate. I don't see the problem. You're not uncomfortable enough to change your current situation, so maybe it's not a problem Mr. Crane.
Here's how I see your situation: you have a job you're content with that more than pays the bills. You're happy with the level of income. The job allows you to have time and energy for other pursuits outside of work. In other words, you live a balanced live between work and leisure that pays you enough to live as well as save for the future.
What's not to like? You don't have to be driven in order to be viewed as attractive by women. A lot of women would love a guy who had plenty of time for weekend and after-work bonding time.
Here's how I see your situation: you have a job you're content with that more than pays the bills. You're happy with the level of income. The job allows you to have time and energy for other pursuits outside of work. In other words, you live a balanced live between work and leisure that pays you enough to live as well as save for the future.
What's not to like? You don't have to be driven in order to be viewed as attractive by women. A lot of women would love a guy who had plenty of time for weekend and after-work bonding time.
Exactly the time spent together is key not the job title
Lack of ambition generally equates to a lack of direction.
It's stagnate, no momentum and no desire to change in any way other than what is managable in the moment.
It can be a very negative thing in relationships depending on who it is and what is desired from the partnership.
Circumstance and situation dictate positives and negatives, keep this in mind.
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