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People were not as quick back then to abandon relationships and label people as something to be "tossed out" as soon as something better arrives the way you see people do today.
Or, they (women) had fewer options because they were almost always dependent on their husband for support, and divorce was taboo for many, most, due to religious and cultural reasons. So even if there were many unhappy marriages (and I am unconvinced the majority were truly happy, vs. happy-looking for appearance sake), divorce was not a viable option.
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Divorce was not as high then,
It's not exactly high now. It is a myth that divorce rates are significantly higher today than previous years. And even if they were higher today, it means couples are realizing they're not compatible for whatever reason, which is a good thing. People shouldn't be together if they're not a good fit. The concept of compatibility, beyond the basic/superficial stuff, coming from a "good" or Christian family, having "good" values, likely had very different meaning for past generations, and for a variety of reasons. Many idealize the institution of marriage of the past, romanticize what they think it used to be and what it meant in the "olden days," instead of what it actually was.
If what you really mean to say is: "I prefer the institution of marriage from my grandparents' days because women were chaste, had fewer rights and options. Women knew their place, didn't compete with men in the workforce, gave up sex when asked, kept their opinions and thoughts to themselves, made sammiches, and reared children. Men had the power and authority and had the final say in all things."
Then, yeah, good riddance to marriage of the olden days.
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and you did not see as many women trying to clean out a man and take everything he has in the name of revenge like many women of all ages do today.
Seriously.
Because divorce wasn't a socially, religiously, and financially viable option.
The rarity of divorce before the 50's doesn't mean that they were all living happy marriages. There were still lots of affairs, alcoholism, workaholics, and gamblers, not to mention your run of the mill slobs, wife beaters, spend thrifts, and unemployable.
From what I gather from people who came if age and married back then, there really wasn't as much emphasis on compatibility, beyond coming from same cultural and socioeconomic group. People married a lot quicker, had kids sooner, and once the magic wore off they didn't have much choice but to stick it out unless they could afford to split up.
Yup, that pretty fairly describes a lot of marriages from this "golden age of relationships".
My sons 28-35 have all found wonderful "material" and their friends have also. The last one will be married in August. The best way to get what YOU want is to be what THEY want.
Thanks for reminding me. I have a few young relatives, male, mostly, who are very happy with the "material" they found. And this is in the Bay Area, where, judging by a few disgruntled individuals like the OP posting there--it can't be done. Rumor has it that dating sucks there. And yet, millennials do find marital bliss there. Go figure.
Is it just me or is finding marriage material harder today than in decades past?
Blame it on a fast pace 24 /7 society
Blame it on women competeing against men in the workforce more than at any point in the past.
"Blame it on....blah blah blah....."
The "blame" lies with YOU. Not society. Not workforce. Not whatever.
People still meet, get married and live happily. Only those who make bad decisions and/or have bad luck are the ones who try to find blame anywhere but with themselves.
The "blame" lies with YOU. Not society. Not workforce. Not whatever.
People still meet, get married and live happily. Only those who make bad decisions and/or have bad luck are the ones who try to find blame anywhere but with themselves.
It's not always bad choices. Human relationships believe it or not is more about luck and being in the right place at the right time. How you think so many undeserving people get married and make babies?
It's not always bad choices. Human relationships believe it or not is more about luck and being in the right place at the right time. How you think so many undeserving people get married and make babies?
"Undeserving"?
Your use of that word says an awful lot about your attitude. Note the emphasis on the word "awful".
Thanks for reminding me. I have a few young relatives, male, mostly, who are very happy with the "material" they found. And this is in the Bay Area, where, judging by a few disgruntled individuals like the OP posting there--it can't be done. Rumor has it that dating sucks there. And yet, millennials do find marital bliss there. Go figure.
It's so much easier to find fault with anything and everything else rather than looking at oneself.
But, yeah, men are totally screwed today. That's what you want to hear, right?
They're fine as long as they stay away from the altar. Maybe even long term cohabitation should be looked at warily to avoid any claims of common law.
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