"Coming out" as a senior citizen.

[stepka]

Originally Posted by CapsChick

There's a Netflix show, Grace & Frankie, built on this very premise. Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston have been law partners and secret lovers all these years, and finally come out in their 70s now that gay marriage is legal. At the same time they come out, they inform their wives of 40 years (Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin) that they are leaving them so they can marry one another. Shenanigans ensue for two seasons (and counting). Great show.

Great show! I can relate to much of it. They were very civil though, compared to what is probably the reality for most people. I started out being very civil and tried very hard to keep it that way, but he said some awful things on his way out. I have no idea if that's the experience of most who go thru this or not--to me it showed a general hatred of women b/c our marriage was really not bad--considering that he was looking for a good excuse to divorce me and couldn't find one.

I will say that the hardest part of being the spouse of one of these closet people is that you're left wondering if they ever loved you or if half your life was spent living someone else's lie. At first I was relieved because I was trying so hard to hold it all together despite the fact that he was trying to get me to leave him so he wouldn't have to go thru the unpleasant business of coming out, and if it had been another woman I would have been more devastated and blaming myself more, but slowly it sunk in that he had never loved me. Ouch.

[2mares]

Do you know any senior citizens who came out? How did their stories go? Were they formerly perceived as straight then had to reestablish themselves? Were they "lifelong singles" that everyone may have suspected? If you knew their finances, how did all that shake out?

Holy Cow is mid 50's considered seniors now!

I have a friend, was a lifelong single, came out a few years back. He was surprised that his friends weren't surprised. We all thought he was asexual or in denial all those years.
Im am very glad that he is now married to a great guy, happy and living well. I never realized how tortured he felt all those years.

[homina12]

Originally Posted by 2mares

Holy Cow is mid 50's considered seniors now!

I have a friend, was a lifelong single, came out a few years back. He was surprised that his friends weren't surprised. We all thought he was asexual or in denial all those years.
Im am very glad that he is now married to a great guy, happy and living well. I never realized how tortured he felt all those years.

Had a similar experience where I jokingly told her she was the last to know. She hasn't had a lot of relationship success, but I think she's much happier being true to herself.