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I just had an unusual conversation with an old friend of mine.
Our last names were close in spelling, so we usually sat together at school. Over the years, we became good friends, but have lost touch some in recent years. In high school, we spent a good bit of time together after school. His dad was a minister and an insurance agent, with four children (buddy of mine, his older brother, and sister about ten years younger than us) and was always extremely friendly toward men. I figured he was just outgoing from being a salesman and a pastor.
Anyway, the man got caught with a high school boy about a decade ago when he was in his mid 40s. He avoided jail time, but had to register as a sex offender. Insurance business went down the drain and he ended up driving a forklift at a distribution center. Wife forgave him and they patched things up, or so it seemed.
I talked to my buddy tonight, who has gone through various marital issues himself, and he mentioned that his dad divorced his mom, and was now out of the closet and living with a man around his age. Friend said he'd been out of the closet for about a year now and divorced for two.
He said he was proud of his father for living true to himself. I think his dad is 57, and is completely restarting his life over from a father of multiple children and Baptist pastor to that of a gay man who recently came out and partnered up. I have no idea how the finances/property were divided up between him and his wife, etc., but it sounds like an absolute nightmare, especially with the criminal record. I can't imagine he has much, if anything, left for retirement, though his father is basically Virginia royalty and paid for the top attorneys in the legal case.
He has come out as a senior citizen and is trying to build a fresh life, it seems, with his newly acknowledged orientation. Do you know any senior citizens who came out? How did their stories go? Were they formerly perceived as straight then had to reestablish themselves? Were they "lifelong singles" that everyone may have suspected? If you knew their finances, how did all that shake out?
He made some bad choices, was subjected to the consequences and then decided to live his life authentically. Despite the social dislocation such a decision initiates, it is better for everyone in the long run.
This post unsettles me a bit. Heterosexual people screw up their lives with bad decisions, affairs, etc., and no one seems to have this kind of "angst" about it. I read almost monthly about an older teacher having sexual encounters with students--homosexual or heterosexual makes no difference. It is bad behavior.
As for his finances and retirement, they will most likely be challenging, as it is for anyone who divorces.
As a heterosexual male who has remained single, I have been subjected to the "suspicion" for a good portion of my life. It is born out of ignorance and says more about those who "suspect" than those of us who live the single life. Fundamentally, it is not anyone's business. People need to get a hobby.
This is more about sociology or psychology than retirement.
My friend from high school married a guy who came out when they were in their 50's. They divorced but remained friends. It wasn't easy for either of them but they had a daughter and that helped keep them on good terms and they genuinely cared for each other. As my friend said, after the shock was over, she realized he was still the same person she had loved all those years and she couldn't just turn off those feelings for him nor. He will always love her as well.
I've known several women who came out in their 50's. All were married at the time and divorced their spouses. They are friendly toward their ex husbands but not close.
Every story is different I think. I agree with the above poster that this belongs more in the relationship forum.
We have a female friend who divorced her husband and moved in with a woman when her kids were in high school. The last few years of the marriage were bad for other reasons (his alcoholism). It was really hard on her son. He had a some psychological issues (bi-polar) of his own and his mom coming out seemed to make it worse. Over time he has gotten treatment and is completely better now (15 years later). The ladies are living their happily ever after retirement. The kids are grown and married and happy. Don't know what happened to the husband.
... TSK ... - And here I thought this thread was about people admitting that they're now "seniors" (or retired) to others who couldn't tell ... Silly me!
...
... TSK ... - And here I thought this thread was about people admitting that they're now "seniors" (or retired) to others who couldn't tell ... Silly me!
...
lol Me, too.
A friend of mine's parents divorced when she was finishing highschool and going off to college, because the mom came out as gay. I have no idea how the assets were handled.
This happened to someone my mom knew. It was beyond painful for him and his family, but I certainly didn't stoop to speculating about their finances and divorce arrangement.
Lots of people don't figure out who they are when they are young, and sometimes figuring out "who you are" is harder to share with others. The problem is that most of these identity scenarios don't involve salacious details that are none of our business.
I know several men and women who "came out" later in life after many years of marriage and raising children. I think in the vast majority of these cases the person is bisexual, and not necessarily "living a lie." They loved and were sexually attracted to their opposite sex partner, and when the relationship ended they happened to fall for someone of the same sex. Nothing to be scandalized by or have to change your life over.
... Tsk ... - and here i thought this thread was about people admitting that they're now "seniors" (or retired) to others who couldn't tell ... Silly me!
...
oh 69!!!
Bingo!
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Mister "I-Had-It-ALL-Wrong"
- And here I thought this thread was about people admitting that they're now "seniors" (or retired) to others who couldn't tell ... Silly me! 
