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Do you mean that it was a mistake for me to have sex with them?
No. She's just explaining things. Their point is, just because you hung out and had sex with the guys doesn't mean they wanted to date you, otherwise you would be dating one of them now.
They probably thought you were cool and enjoyed sex, but hat doesn't mean they'd date you. Some people-in general, are fine doing certain things with someone they are just casual with and not dating.
Call this hypocritical, Insecure, or even stupid. But some have a date-type vs. a sex type. And for the latter, they don't care what
Do you mean that it was a mistake for me to have sex with them?
You did what you wanted to do. You said you didnt want to settle down back then. With the number of guys you slept with you obviously werent being very choosy about the quality of the person you were sleeping with, as far as relationship material.
Should I keep trying to meet new people, or should I call some of my old FWBs / FBs and see if I can get something started with them?
There's a movie about a woman (Anna Faris) who does this, called "What's Your Number?"
FWIW, I don't see any reason you need to disclose your "number" and I don't understand why you feel compelled to do so. From your posts in this thread you almost seem eager to share the information. It's unnecessary.
I think the OP is doing the right thing. Its obviously not an attractive characteristic of many people, men and women. Disclosing it upfront makes a lot of sense. If she discloses it later, and he bails, now she's wasted a lot of time and set herself up potentially for heartbreak. If she doesn't disclose, and he finds out after they say get married and have kids, it could torpedo the marriage permanently. Disclosing this is no different than someone disclosing a previous drug addiction, prison time, sex change or a bunch of other things. Stick to your guns OP. There are men out there that would appreciate your honesty, and find it attractive.
Maybe a lot of you don't like the idea of telling the number of sex partners because you wouldn't want anyone to know your number?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
Maybe a lot of you don't like the idea of telling the number of sex partners because you wouldn't want anyone to know your number?
More like they think it is either none of their business, or they don't keep track. It would be weird to do so. It isn't like I kept a list of every date I've had, or every kiss I've had. I'd hate to think of keeping a "scoresheet" of romantic or intimate connections as well. It really makes no sense to me.
How does this come up every single time anyway? I've never been asked my number, and neither have many of the female posters here. Lots of male posters here don't ask or want to know. Do the guys you date ask you, or do you blurt it out at some inopportune time? Do you tell them before or after sex?
I think she said she asks them if they want to know. I don't know why, either. I don't know my number. Except up until a few years ago it was 1.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cangrejo
They need to know who I really am
Why do you see this number as who you 'really are'? You aren't really a number! Be something else that is more interesting to be around if you're looking for more than a FB.
Really, people don't go around thinking about this, and your FWB/FB may not have wondered until you gave them a number to fixate on...how old are you anyway? Is this like 3 a year...or 20 a year?
Don't answer if you don't feel like it, that's none of our business, either
Im not so sure why she thinks she has to tell everyone she dated that she slept with 75 (or however many) men. That is her past, and if she is seeing someone now, that has nothing to do with her past.
Its not like it will show up on her credit report.
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