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How would she know if she "really likes you" after just one date? You may be fun on a first date, putting your best foot forward, but she needs to get to know you more, to look below the surface and see if you're trustworthy, not a player, reliable, etc. etc.
By "really likes you" I mean has a high enough attraction level. Or at that moment likes you more than platonically.
Not necessarily wants to be exclusive with you. You're right, you won't know that after a first date.
By "really likes you" I mean has a high enough attraction level. Or at that moment likes you more than platonically.
Not necessarily wants to be exclusive with you. You're right, you won't know that after a first date.
But even if she does kiss you on the 1st date, that still won't necessarily mean a 2nd date. I'm sure plenty of people have kissed on the 1st date, only to never see each other again.
It's why I'm an advocate of just doing what makes you most comfortable. For me, I'm with Chowhound in that I'm just not really a 1st date kisser. Could this change in the future? Perhaps, but that's what I'm most comfortable with.
Don't know how this thread morphed away from not making a move after months to kissing on a first date.
I think it ties with waiting too long to make a move. Not that I think not kissing in the first date is waiting too long. I do apologize for side tracking though, I would be interested in a poll that shows how many people kiss on the first date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
But even if she does kiss you on the 1st date, that still won't necessarily mean a 2nd date. I'm sure plenty of people have kissed on the 1st date, only to never see each other again.
It's why I'm an advocate of just doing what makes you most comfortable. For me, I'm with Chowhound in that I'm just not really a 1st date kisser. Could this change in the future? Perhaps, but that's what I'm most comfortable with.
You're absolutely correct with that. There are instances where you can kiss someone and they kiss back, then there isn't a second date. I find that happens either because they liked you enough to kiss and that's it or more commonly, I said something (mostly on the phone or through text or talking on the phone too much) to turn them off and they didn't give me a second date. Which is why I stay away from the phone as much as possible in the early phases.
If I tried to kiss a girl on the first date and she didn't kiss me back, but told me she didn't because she doesn't kiss on the first date, I would not call her again after that. But if she called me and wanted another date, I would probably go out again with her and see what happens the next time.
I've been told every excuse, so I would take it as not interested romantically. But if they pursued me afterwards, I'd give it another shot.
I remember years ago. I would not try and kiss on the first date, thinking I was respecting her, she might be interested in a guy like that. If I could only go back and talk some sense into that guy, there are many ways to handle things, to see how interested a woman is. Then again there are women that flat out s**** on the first date. Nice to have fun with, but not the kind of woman to get serious with. You dont mix the two.
I think it ties with waiting too long to make a move. Not that I think not kissing in the first date is waiting too long. I do apologize for side tracking though, I would be interested in a poll that shows how many people kiss on the first date.
You're absolutely correct with that. There are instances where you can kiss someone and they kiss back, then there isn't a second date. I find that happens either because they liked you enough to kiss and that's it or more commonly, I said something (mostly on the phone or through text or talking on the phone too much) to turn them off and they didn't give me a second date. Which is why I stay away from the phone as much as possible in the early phases.
If I tried to kiss a girl on the first date and she didn't kiss me back, but told me she didn't because she doesn't kiss on the first date, I would not call her again after that. But if she called me and wanted another date, I would probably go out again with her and see what happens the next time.
I've been told every excuse, so I would take it as not interested romantically. But if they pursued me afterwards, I'd give it another shot.
Why not take her at face value? Plenty of people don't kiss on the 1st date, but that doesn't mean they aren't interested in the person. If she still keeps going out with you, then good chance she's at least sort of interested in you.
And regarding about talking on the phone, a couple of years ago, I met a girl through OKCupid. Convo was going very good, made date plans, we exchanged numbers, and told her if she wanted to talk on the phone to make her feel comfortable.
Phone convo turned out to be a disaster for some reason. Awkward pauses, not really talking much, etc. No idea what happened. Later that night, she texts me saying she doesn't think we'd be a good fit for dating and good luck in my search. Had asked her if the phone convo had anything to do with it, and she was adamant it didn't. However, I don't think it's a coincidence that right after the phone convo, she changed her mind about me.
From that point on, I never offered to talk on the phone beforehand, lol. I match, message them a few time or so, and immediately ask them out.
Why not take her at face value? Plenty of people don't kiss on the 1st date, but that doesn't mean they aren't interested in the person. If she still keeps going out with you, then good chance she's at least sort of interested in you.
And regarding about talking on the phone, a couple of years ago, I met a girl through OKCupid. Convo was going very good, made date plans, we exchanged numbers, and told her if she wanted to talk on the phone to make her feel comfortable.
Phone convo turned out to be a disaster for some reason. Awkward pauses, not really talking much, etc. No idea what happened. Later that night, she texts me saying she doesn't think we'd be a good fit for dating and good luck in my search. Had asked her if the phone convo had anything to do with it, and she was adamant it didn't. However, I don't think it's a coincidence that right after the phone convo, she changed her mind about me.
From that point on, I never offered to talk on the phone beforehand, lol. I match, message them a few time or so, and immediately ask them out.
Have to laugh. After several seemingly good messages, we went to phone. After about an hour of him doing most of the talking, he SO revealed what he was really like. Disaster averted!
I used to "interview" prospective tenants by getting them to just keep talking. It works.
Why not take her at face value? Plenty of people don't kiss on the 1st date, but that doesn't mean they aren't interested in the person. If she still keeps going out with you, then good chance she's at least sort of interested in you.
And regarding about talking on the phone, a couple of years ago, I met a girl through OKCupid. Convo was going very good, made date plans, we exchanged numbers, and told her if she wanted to talk on the phone to make her feel comfortable.
Phone convo turned out to be a disaster for some reason. Awkward pauses, not really talking much, etc. No idea what happened. Later that night, she texts me saying she doesn't think we'd be a good fit for dating and good luck in my search. Had asked her if the phone convo had anything to do with it, and she was adamant it didn't. However, I don't think it's a coincidence that right after the phone convo, she changed her mind about me.
From that point on, I never offered to talk on the phone beforehand, lol. I match, message them a few time or so, and immediately ask them out.
Well I never had a girl tell me she didn't kiss on the first date when I tried to kiss her, but if that were to happen, I would stop personally pursuing. I'd let her do 100% of the contacting after that, if she really wanted to continue dating.
I usually would not believe it and think it was a sign of disinterest, but after a scenario a few years ago, I'm surprised by nothing anymore. I had a girl tell me on the first date that she had herpes. I thought this was a BS lie to say she wasn't interested. It was worse than when a girl in high school told me that she didn't call me back because her dog ate her phone.
Then I find out about a month later, she's on a dating site and says right on her profile that she had genital herpes. So it turns out that she wasn't making that up, or she's just making it up to everyone.
And I agree on the talking. Do dating sites match you with others? Or is this only Match.com and pay sites? I haven't used one in years. I used to get more dates messaging random girls on social media than messaging them on Internet dating sites.
And I agree on the talking. Do dating sites match you with others? Or is this only Match.com and pay sites? I haven't used one in years. I used to get more dates messaging random girls on social media than messaging them on Internet dating sites.
Oh yeah, they match you and as far as I've have experienced lately, don't count on it...you might as well do a coin flip
Well I never had a girl tell me she didn't kiss on the first date when I tried to kiss her, but if that were to happen, I would stop personally pursuing. I'd let her do 100% of the contacting after that, if she really wanted to continue dating.
I usually would not believe it and think it was a sign of disinterest, but after a scenario a few years ago, I'm surprised by nothing anymore. I had a girl tell me on the first date that she had herpes. I thought this was a BS lie to say she wasn't interested. It was worse than when a girl in high school told me that she didn't call me back because her dog ate her phone.
Then I find out about a month later, she's on a dating site and says right on her profile that she had genital herpes. So it turns out that she wasn't making that up, or she's just making it up to everyone.
And I agree on the talking. Do dating sites match you with others? Or is this only Match.com and pay sites? I haven't used one in years. I used to get more dates messaging random girls on social media than messaging them on Internet dating sites.
Only site I had used was OkCupid a while back. Pretty much just use dating apps nowadays.
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