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I think it's definitely possible that someone might do it once, then never do it again. Just as a mistake and one and done.
But if it happens more than once, I think it would definitely be a pattern and someone would then become a serial cheater in my mind.
My best friend cheated once, or on multiple occasions but it was with the same girl and in a few week span while he was in another state. He came back and was distraught about it, and said he only even stopped because the girl he was cheating with, broke it off herself. But he did say that he wouldn't have tried so hard to find out what happened, had it happened after he left California. Which is where he was at the time, we were both living in New Jersey when it happened, as was his at the time fiance.
He said she completely stopped answering his calls at one point while he was still out there, he was recording a record with the band he was in at the time. She didn't even know he had a girlfriend back home.
I think he made a mistake and never did it again, yet many start to do it and it becomes a pattern.
No she want stop. She's getting something she needs and it doesn't have anything to do with you. You will resent her if you stay in this relationship. Find someone that has the same values as you and don't get mad at her not having the same standards. Let her go. It will emotionally destroy you and you will look at all women differently.
I have experienced women cheating on me. In all kind of ways. Emotional cheating. Outright sex. Sex texting. Dating others behind my back. Innapropriate communication with their ex's,,,,
My current on again off again girlfriend continues to have inappropriate communication with her ex-husband. While she's not having sex with him to me it's just as bad. She has had 2 1/2 years to put an end to this. She makes all kinds of promises but eventually goes back to the behavior and I'm crushed. I don't think at this point this woman will change.
My question is whether or not people change when they're accustomed to this kind of behavior? Especially women. Does anybody have a success story where their woman was able to change and stop with all inappropriate stuff.
Please no comments on my other posts. I am over itb
A better question would be to ask whether people who continue to pick cheaters can learn to pick people who don't cheat.
I think the answer to that is, only through therapy to work through the issues that cause them to pick cheaters over and over again.
OP, not in your situation. You basically enable her to go back and forth to do as she pleases with zero consequence. You think this on/off woman is "your girlfriend"?! Get effin real, dude. Her ex is her primary concern and you're a side piece for the times when he won't deal with her.. What madness is this. . . ?! You stop a cheater when you stop dealing with them.. Lol
I have experienced women cheating on me. In all kind of ways. Emotional cheating. Outright sex. Sex texting. Dating others behind my back. Innapropriate communication with their ex's,,,,
My current on again off again girlfriend continues to have inappropriate communication with her ex-husband. While she's not having sex with him to me it's just as bad. She has had 2 1/2 years to put an end to this. She makes all kinds of promises but eventually goes back to the behavior and I'm crushed. I don't think at this point this woman will change.
My question is whether or not people change when they're accustomed to this kind of behavior? Especially women. Does anybody have a success story where their woman was able to change and stop with all inappropriate stuff.
Please no comments on my other posts. I am over itb
Well I think I knew the answer already. Cheaters don't change. I was hoping to hear more success stories. In my case she has had over 2.5 years to change and hasn't. Like some posters said she's getting something out of it or she would have stopped
The lesson for me is to been done immediately when if it occurs with another woman. I did that with a girlfriend before. I gave her one chance she blew it and I was gone.
Nobody mentioned emotional cheating but to me that's just as bad as outright sex with another. It's putting attention in another man which is wrong.
Habitual cheaters (as opposed to regretful one time cheater types) can change but usually it involves outside help like therapy or finding religion or something that prompts a whole revamp of the person's way of thinking and priorities.
But that's really rare. Most of the time they stop for a little while but eventually go right back to the behavior.
Unless you are dealing with a person who is seemingly changing into a whole new person before your eyes, and is drastically revamping their life with some kind of outside help, walk away.
Nope. She refuses to go to therapy. Even though it was a condition of the last time she begged for another chance. I agreed and therapy was a term including stopping the behavior. Neither one occurred
Depends on what their motivations are for cheating in the first place. The desire and ability to "stop" and change peronal behaviors is another major factor.
It's not a simple yes or no answer.
If you want my personal take and experience on the matter I would say it's unlikely to happen for most. if the person in question isn't willing to take the steps nessary to take themselves out of problematic situations or address why they may have issues in spefic, they will never address the portions of themselves that drive them to do it in the first place.
It will just lead to ignorance and personal justification instead of actual acceptance and change.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdesey
Nope. She refuses to go to therapy. Even though it was a condition of the last time she begged for another chance. I agreed and therapy was a term including stopping the behavior. Neither one occurred
She gave you her answer with these actions, She isn't willing to accept her responsibility in all things. If she was personally motivated to change for the sake of her relationship she would have actively sought out the solution on her own.
Whe someone words begin to not match their actions, it says all you really need to understand about their mindsets
Last edited by rego00123; 09-03-2016 at 01:21 PM..
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So sad
