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I think that may be a big part of it, people are too busy looking for the perfect partner, one that doesn't exist btw, that they are missing the forest for the trees.......
It's the era (internet, porn, social media, long term weak economy) that's created a mindset of selfishness, always evaluating your options, and viewing other ppl as disposable.
I think that may be a big part of it, people are too busy looking for the perfect partner, one that doesn't exist btw, that they are missing the forest for the trees.......
I do agree with this in part.
I thought because I am not looking to have children that it would be easier for me...because there isn't the pressure age-wise for a commitment from the man.
I also felt like maybe it's a cultural thing and perhaps I should consider moving to a culture where at least being in a relationship was still valued heavily but there is no utopia and I must move on trying to live life happily for myself as a relationship may or may not ever happen.
It's the era (internet, porn, social media, long term weak economy) that's created a mindset of selfishness, always evaluating your options, and viewing other ppl as disposable.
I think it's just easy to "swipe" to the next person. I agree, men have no interest in chasing women, to a degree, put on some porn tug away, no risk, no rejection. IDK, Also no reward as well. I try to refrain from picking on young men, but I just don't care for how our society is going, but I suppose that's another thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan
I do agree with this in part.
I thought because I am not looking to have children that it would be easier for me...because there isn't the pressure age-wise for a commitment from the man.
I also felt like maybe it's a cultural thing and perhaps I should consider moving to a culture where at least being in a relationship was still valued heavily but there is no utopia and I must move on trying to live life happily for myself as a relationship may or may not ever happen.
You my friend would be a unicorn. When I was dating I couldn't find a woman that didn't want kids and a whole bunch of women I did date and hang out with already had kids, or again, wanted them. I knew at 12 that kids weren't in my future.
I's suggest some website that cater to childfree/less people and you'd probably have them eating out of your hands. To live the DINK lifestyle is for me the best, got lots of money and much much more freedom, but again, thoughts best left for another thread.
Again, hang in there, it ain't over til you're dead, and then it's really over. LOL.
"...he was doing plenty of social activities that never involved me..."
"...I've yet to meet any of his friends..."
"...he stated that he wanted his next vacation to be with me...he's booking that vacation without me."
IMO, all were red flags! I'm on the fence about the train stop thing, but I guess I'd be a little uneasy about that as well.
And I'm saying this as a man! Sorry, but if I'm involved with someone, they're involved with me. She meets my friends, we're doing activities together, we're taking vacations together.
It's the era (internet, porn, social media, long term weak economy) that's created a mindset of selfishness, always evaluating your options, and viewing other ppl as disposable.
Life would be easier if we weren't so selective. Many searching for a partner say then can't find anyone but what they really are saying is that they can't find anyone who they want to be in a relationship with. So they are indirectly choosing to be single until they find someone acceptable.
But the challenge is greater than "finding your soulmate", it's figuring out what your emotional needs are and seeing if you can get those needs met elsewhere instead of trying to find someone to make you whole. It's really at the core of what others say in finding happiness in yourself first, which is so trite it seems like a joke at times.
Friends, social circles, work, religion, hobbies, pets, adventure, etc. all do offer some relief, but it take work to find the answers.
For example, I didn't realize how my moments of lack of companionship were easily filled until I got a dog. And then I discovered that it affected my presentation to others, like I wasn't as needy I guess you could say. I've also found other alternatives to meet some of my other needs too. And you know what? Something strange happened me recently that all of the sudden I had more dates unexpectedly. Go figure.
Have you not observed what impact our low economy has had on social behavior?
The list is too great to provide but here are a few: delayed marriages, unwillingness to take on any financial responsibilities beyond yourself, no biggie divorcing, social acceptance of sugar babies, dating versus "hanging out", etc.
IMHO, low income and limited economic opportunities makes ppl more feral (living for the moment to satisfy immediate desires; no interest in long term investments)
"...he was doing plenty of social activities that never involved me..."
"...I've yet to meet any of his friends..."
"...he stated that he wanted his next vacation to be with me...he's booking that vacation without me."
IMO, all were red flags! I'm on the fence about the train stop thing, but I guess I'd be a little uneasy about that as well.
And I'm saying this as a man! Sorry, but if I'm involved with someone, they're involved with me. She meets my friends, we're doing activities together, we're taking vacations together.
Was best to let him go.
Well, yes, I agree.
When I added all of these things together I understood it was going nowhere which is why I decided to end it although I knew I would end up missing him. I thought that with time as we got to know each other these things would change but they were not.
After about 6 months of dating I decided to end things yesterday.
We had become fairly good friends over these past months, but it also became obvious he didn't want anything serious. I've been moping around for the past 24 hours and I've even shed a few tears. Which I guess is normal, but I'm really bummed out because (a) none of the people I've dated over the past decade have ended up wanting anything serious, and (b) I used to think there was someone out there for me for many years but nowadays I just don't "feel" that way in my gut anymore...and I don't like this feeling that I have now that I might just be one of those people who are 'destined' to be alone.
Don't get me wrong; I understand there are far more important issues in life than being single forever.
I told him I thought it was best we don't communicate anymore...I'm really going to miss having him around but also feel like if I didn't end it, eventually he probably would have once he found someone he really wanted a long term serious relationship with.
Heck, I thought you were going to Guanajuato this Labor Day weekend.
Might be good timing for a solo trip.
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