Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Most of the articles, blogs and videos I see are related to mothers and not just wives. Perhaps there have been threads of this nature prior, but I want to get everyone's take on this. I know that whatever each couple agrees upon if fine for their own relationship. I think what I want to know is how many folks think a stay at home wife is taking advantage of her husband, or better, how many husbands think this arrangement is unfair? I heard a bizarre conversation today between a couple in the parking garage where the wife was literally pleading for her hubby to let her quit her job. He said a single income was not enough, and she said that she wanted to do things that made her happy. ie: not work. She said that she has "no time for her life."
Most of the articles, blogs and videos I see are related to mothers and not just wives. Perhaps there have been threads of this nature prior, but I want to get everyone's take on this. I know that whatever each couple agrees upon if fine for their own relationship. I think what I want to know is how many folks think a stay at home wife is taking advantage of her husband, or better, how many husbands think this arrangement is unfair? I heard a bizarre conversation today between a couple in the parking garage where the wife was literally pleading for her hubby to let her quit her job. He said a single income was not enough, and she said that she wanted to do things that made her happy. ie: not work. She said that she has "no time for her life."
Nothing I think or say relates to anyone but myself and Mr. CSD and whatever that couple decides is right for them is their own business.
The same as any other couple, the dynamics of their relationship and their financial needs are known to them and should stay between them and I have no opinion about their chosen lifestyle.
Nothing I think or say relates to anyone but myself and Mr. CSD and whatever that couple decides is right for them is their own business.
The same as any other couple, the dynamics of their relationship and their financial needs are known to them and should stay between them and I have no opinion about their chosen lifestyle.
I was asking for those with an opinion to respond. I did mention that whatever each couple chooses to do is fine. I wanted to know more specifically if there are husbands who resent carrying the entire financial burden. Didn't really relate to that couple, per se. They were simply what prompted the thought.
I think the key question, as illustrated in your example, is whether or not the couple can afford to have one spouse staying at home. Some breadwinners are fine with that. But if they can't afford it, it makes no sense. "Not having time for her life"? What does that even mean? And why wouldn't her husband deserve "time for his life"? And I wonder how many of the couple's expenses are the wife's choice: clothes/fashion, some primping services, a new car every few years perhaps, etc. If she wants a certain lifestyle, she'll have to work for it, unless her husband is a high earner.
My opinion is that any couple should do what is right for them.
If a husband DOES resent his wife being at home, they need to resolve that.
I fail to see how " a stay at home wife is taking advantage of her husband" (from post #1) if they agree to that arrangement.
In my observations, the husbands who have wives at home are happy for it, as they take care of many tasks that they can't be bothered doing.
Most of the articles, blogs and videos I see are related to mothers and not just wives. Perhaps there have been threads of this nature prior, but I want to get everyone's take on this. I know that whatever each couple agrees upon if fine for their own relationship. I think what I want to know is how many folks think a stay at home wife is taking advantage of her husband, or better, how many husbands think this arrangement is unfair? I heard a bizarre conversation today between a couple in the parking garage where the wife was literally pleading for her hubby to let her quit her job. He said a single income was not enough, and she said that she wanted to do things that made her happy. ie: not work. She said that she has "no time for her life."
IMO, it takes both husband and wife to agree what is enough money and what isn't enough money. If I made enough to where my wife could stay home and we can live comfortably, then she most likely would stay at home. But we both agree that two incomes is best.
For a wife to say I want to quit my job because she has no time for her life is a red flag to me. She has to think about the household finances before she can think about how much time she has to enjoy her life.
In my observations, the husbands who have wives at home are happy for it, as they take care of many tasks that they can't be bothered doing.
A situation where she gets stuff around the house done so that they don't have to spend all their evenings and weekends doing chores would probably work better than the OP's scenario of the husband supporting his wife's mid-life crisis.
I think the key question, as illustrated in your example, is whether or not the couple can afford to have one spouse staying at home. Some breadwinners are fine with that. But if they can't afford it, it makes no sense. "Not having time for her life"? What does that even mean? And why wouldn't her husband deserve "time for his life"? And I wonder how many of the couple's expenses are the wife's choice: clothes/fashion, some primping services, a new car every few years perhaps, etc. If she wants a certain lifestyle, she'll have to work for it, unless her husband is a high earner.
That's fair. Maybe she is more traditional and wants to do more at home. Thanks, Ruth.
Most of the articles, blogs and videos I see are related to mothers and not just wives. Perhaps there have been threads of this nature prior, but I want to get everyone's take on this. I know that whatever each couple agrees upon if fine for their own relationship. I think what I want to know is how many folks think a stay at home wife is taking advantage of her husband, or better, how many husbands think this arrangement is unfair? I heard a bizarre conversation today between a couple in the parking garage where the wife was literally pleading for her hubby to let her quit her job. He said a single income was not enough, and she said that she wanted to do things that made her happy. ie: not work. She said that she has "no time for her life."
I personally don't have a problem with it. A LOT of men will, especially the younger set. I think if she's a stay at home wife she still needs to be managing the house, taking care of the cleaning and things along those lines, I mean assuming we're all middle class people and don't necessarily use maid services that often.
Mrs. Chow was self employed and worked out of the home. Her work loads would vary, feast or famine and it would throw off our time schedules from each other so she decided to take a break from that for a while now and we made it ok on my one income. I made decent money, but we also don't have kids and the mortgage for us is ridiculously low comparing to the rentals in our area as we bought our condo a good 15 yrs or so ago when real estate here in So Cal was reasonable. My job also had a vehicle as part of the compensation package so we have been able to not have car payments for many years as our personal car is hardly driven and well maintained with lower miles on it as we probably only put 3 or 4k a year on it.
I think some women would love to stay at home and do all those domestic things. Sometimes there is an issue with fairness. The tit for tat argument. My hubby is not motivated by the idea of a wife who stays home, he is the best house cleaner and loves to do domestic things. He tends to be motivated by saving money for future things. So if I wanted to stay home and be the modern day Donna Reed, he would think that was irresponsible. A gourmet dinner made for him every night? (Yes, I would.) He can just as easily eat mac-n-cheese and be a happy camper.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
