Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I didn't want to use the word "alone" or "single" because they've been used ad nauseum here. Lol and I wanted to switch it up. Also it would kind of give it a "how to cope with being single vibe" and that's not what this about lol.
I was having a conversation with an older class mate of mine at school and she was talking about her niece. She was telling me how her niece was just awesome in every sense of the word. She was going on and on about how gorgeous, ambitious, responsible, and how sweet she is as a person. But when it came to dating, she said she has adapted so much to being single, it's hard for her to accept anyone into her life on a romantic level to the point where she basically pushes them away. My classmate basically flat out said that she see's that adaptation was more negative than positive. Most if not all of my friends agreed with her.
At the same time, my classmate stated that she herself realized that deep down she just doesn't want to be alone, and she wanted to find that person to connect with. I guess everyone would have their own personal biases about either situation, as I really had a difficult time seeing that "adaptation" as a bad thing. My classmate seems like a happy individual and seems to be very happy with her marriage, however, I don't really know what's going on behind closed doors.
I just basically said that people should do what makes them happy. But I want to know what you all think about what she said. What does adapting mean to you? The way she phrased it was just very interesting to me. Haha.
I think your classmate kind of assumes that being part of a couple is the default way to live. While not exactly true, it's not way off base either. So if being in a couple is thought of as the default way to live or the default status to strive for, being single requires an adaptation. Since your classmate wants to be part of a couple, it sounds like she sees the adaptation her niece made as almost a sad necessity. That really depends on what the niece wants, though.
As others have said, it's closer to the truth to say that we adapt several times throughout our life time.
Life is all about adapting successfully to the changes that come with age and circumstances. People adapt to married life, becoming parents of babies, becoming parents of teens, becoming empty nesters, retirement, being widowed, becoming disabled by age, etc.
It amazes me that anyone would think that adapting is anything but a valuable skill.
Yep. You basically spend your whole life adapting to things that change, no matter if you are single or not.
All very thoughtful responses and interesting point of views.
The way she said it really stuck out to me and gave me some insight as to how much value she places in relationships. When she told me that she knew deep down that SHE didn't want to be alone, I kind of understood why she would say the things she did. When I think about it, relationships like many other things just seem like a random part of life. I don't think they're essential nor insignificant. Either you have them or you don't. It just kind reinforces my belief that there are infinite paths in this life. And there is no one right way to live.
You just live how you want. If you're not hurting yourself or others, there is no problem.
I didn't want to use the word "alone" or "single" because they've been used ad nauseum here. Lol and I wanted to switch it up. Also it would kind of give it a "how to cope with being single vibe" and that's not what this about lol.
I was having a conversation with an older class mate of mine at school and she was talking about her niece. She was telling me how her niece was just awesome in every sense of the word. She was going on and on about how gorgeous, ambitious, responsible, and how sweet she is as a person. But when it came to dating, she said she has adapted so much to being single, it's hard for her to accept anyone into her life on a romantic level to the point where she basically pushes them away. My classmate basically flat out said that she see's that adaptation was more negative than positive. Most if not all of my friends agreed with her.
At the same time, my classmate stated that she herself realized that deep down she just doesn't want to be alone, and she wanted to find that person to connect with. I guess everyone would have their own personal biases about either situation, as I really had a difficult time seeing that "adaptation" as a bad thing. My classmate seems like a happy individual and seems to be very happy with her marriage, however, I don't really know what's going on behind closed doors.
I just basically said that people should do what makes them happy. But I want to know what you all think about what she said. What does adapting mean to you? The way she phrased it was just very interesting to me. Haha.
I've been on my own a long time. I enjoy relationships and I really do like having a man in my life, but I think I would suffocate if I had to ever live with one again. I thoroughly enjoy being alone and going and coming as I please. I even enjoy traveling alone...I've just never been one to have to have someone else to share experiences with, to enjoy them. I don't think that most people are like that however.
Life is all about adapting successfully to the changes that come with age and circumstances. People adapt to married life, becoming parents of babies, becoming parents of teens, becoming empty nesters, retirement, being widowed, becoming disabled by age, etc.
It amazes me that anyone would think that adapting is anything but a valuable skill.
I certainly hope when the time comes, I will be able to adapt to the health problems which come along?
I've been on my own a long time. I enjoy relationships and I really do like having a man in my life, but I think I would suffocate if I had to ever live with one again. I thoroughly enjoy being alone and going and coming as I please. I even enjoy traveling alone...I've just never been one to have to have someone else to share experiences with, to enjoy them. I don't think that most people are like that however.
people my age are like that, if they loose a husband, can't tell you how many women I've talked with who say they love it like this, they love their alone time, and would never even date again....
But I believe younger girls are changing and it is certainly not like it was when I was young. We were encouraged to get married and have kids...today, women are encouraged to be successful in career and business....which is really great for them....
Life is all about adapting successfully to the changes that come with age and circumstances. People adapt to married life, becoming parents of babies, becoming parents of teens, becoming empty nesters, retirement, being widowed, becoming disabled by age, etc.
It amazes me that anyone would think that adapting is anything but a valuable skill.
I agree 100%
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
