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Imho, I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill, OP. It's not like he rubbed his hands vertically up and down your back while sniffing your hair/neck. What are we talking about here? 4 sec hug - 5 sec tops?
Unwanted physical touch can feel extremely threatening to a woman. I'm not sure you would say the same thing if it had happened to you with somebody who is a hell of a lot stronger than you.
This is outrageous! There's nothing more to the story. Get over yourself. A woman has a stranger get physical with her out of nowhere, and this is how you treat her? You have no idea how intimidating and embarrassing something like that can be. If it had been her boss, she really would have been stuck. She would have been thinking that her job could be on the line, if she chose the wrong response. She is not responsible for some creep coming onto her out of the blue. It's the creep's fault, not his victim's fault.
How is that outrageous! You need to check yourself!
What the guy did was totally inappropriate and sickening, but my question to the OP was strictly towards her boyfriend's reaction. His reaction was not rational at all and made me wonder if they have problems with trust in the past! What that electrician guy was gross. I wouldn't dare do that. He crossed the line but the boyfriend's behavior puzzles me!
Thats what im saying. The plummer's behavior was creepy, weird and gross but the boyfriend's reaction was too puzzling. That's why I wonder if there's more to the story that she did not disclosed. If this is the whole story, then he sounds like a dud and needs to get dumped. I guess that he left her alone on NYE and wanted to go to strip clubs while he was dating her.
Unwanted physical touch can feel extremely threatening to a woman. I'm not sure you would say the same thing if it had happened to you with somebody who is a hell of a lot stronger than you.
Ive had dudes and some pretty big women grab my balls before. I just correct them on the spot, and carry on. It's no big deal.
I also, find it puzzling that the boyfriend would make such a statement and be upset
As I said, he wasn't there and doesn't know what the electrician looks like.
But he cares enough to get so upset about it? Okay makes sense.
How old are you?? If you just stood there and "let him" of course it would seem you're not repulse by the hugging right? Maybe time for you to start learn when to be polite and respectful, and when to Not.
Like others have mentioned it definitely seems your bf is controlling. Him getting upset doesn't have to mean he "really" care about you but just himself. Your strip club first date, his NYE tradition, apologising thereafter . . Yep, it's all about Him.
I just had my electrician finish a big job, we had the inspector finally come out after 2 weeks of canceling due to poor weather. So now everything is done and signed, my electrician felt the need to give me a hug and it felt kinda long to me. Am I being petty? or was he being unprofessional? As a new homeowner, I've mostly dealt with handymen crews but they've never hugged me. It was really awkward, he just did it and I just stood there in shock. Has anyone else had any similar experiences?
I told my boyfriend and he's mad at me saying I allowed it and I was being "friendly". So maybe it's my own fault -___-
Maybe it was because as you described it was a job that took a long time, was fraught with problems, and it was more a "We survived, it is finally over" But, only you know for sure.
I would go by the way that this electrician treated you in general during this long job....If you were friendly and chatty, offered him coffee, visited with him while he was there, treated him less like a professional and more like a buddy....the hug wasn't bizarre.
I also think it has more to do with the age of this electrician.....and older man might feel less threatening.
I'd like to hear more about the relationship you established during this long difficult job so that I can respond with more insights.
I do think your boyfriend seems a bit overboard in blaming you.....But, again it has more to do with how you described the hug. Your boyfriend seems upset, so you must have described your feelings about the hug as "inappropriate" But, I find your boyfriends reaction a "red flag" I would expect him to now question trusting you alone with men....if he is the typical over-jealous type.
In the end always go with your gut feelings.....Both about this electrician, and your boyfriend.
my guess is with the holidays just passing he was in the habit of hugging family and friends at every holiday gathering and you got hugged because of his recent muscle memory of repeated hugging.
Of course there does. She was asking for it. Maybe she was wearing a certain shirt. Or had had an alcoholic beverage sometime in the last six months. Or did not put on her head scarf that day.
Good grief.
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