Girlfriend gets upset at me playing video games. (single, mature, problems)
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Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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I can be a couch potato and probably do watch too much tv but I tend to watch shows that I know me and my company will enjoy. Watching someone play a video game is boring as can be, then add in the continuous sound effects and looping soundtrack and it can make me snap over an extended period of time. If evening time is your together time I'd be about as enthused to spend it watching you play a game as you would be watching The Real Housewives. I watch that kind of stuff in my own personal time not when I'm expected to be entertaining or company to another.
You've obviously gathered wrong, and it never says anywhere that he should cave in to his GF's demands, nor did I suggest it.
He can play to his heart's content if his GF goes to visit her mother, goes shopping, goes out with her GF's or goes to bed early occasionally, they were just suggestions. He may well come to a compromise with his GF and organise and agree to other times where he's able to play his games.
I'm sure you didn't overlook the word compromise, did you?
Happy wife Happy life, people have their own individual perceptions on the saying, whether they agree with it or not, while it contains factual meaning, and I don't know about America, but where I am it's said in a humorous way rather than as a factual statement; I might be wrong, but isn't Happy wife happy life an American invention?
This lad made the choice to live with his GF, I would find it hard to believe his GF demanded he move in with her, and he bowed down and succumbed.
Most people, highly educated or not, and abusers aside would be well aware that part of being in a relationship is about satisfying each others needs, pretty much stands to reason, doesn't it.
Being part of a relationship also requires sacrifice, doesn't it, sacrifice by choice. Sacrifice (lousy word from a relationship point of view imo) means giving things up, or reducing participation for the sake of the partner and relationship because the partner and relationship are more important, aren't they?
Yeah, but in the majority of cases it seems to be men that are the ones to do so and give up a lot more.
I'm very introverted and need a lot of time to myself. I'd like my future bf to have his own interests that let me have time and space to recharge, so video games actually sounds pretty good. I guess if it occupied every minute of his free time then yes, it would become a problem.
Well like there are times I will set aside for some long overnight gaming sessions with friends but that's not very often. But for example last week she had gone to bed she had work the next day but I had the day off so after she went to bed I stayed up most of the night playing with friends. About 2 AM she got up to use the restroom and complained that I wasn't in bed. Note I had not played any games that day and we had went out to a movie and had some quality time together. But since she went to bed and I wasn't tired and had work the next day I don't see why it matters, she actually is one that pretty much falls asleep the second her head hits the pillow so what difference does it make?
Well like there are times I will set aside for some long overnight gaming sessions with friends but that's not very often. But for example last week she had gone to bed she had work the next day but I had the day off so after she went to bed I stayed up most of the night playing with friends. About 2 AM she got up to use the restroom and complained that I wasn't in bed. Note I had not played any games that day and we had went out to a movie and had some quality time together. But since she went to bed and I wasn't tired and had work the next day I don't see why it matters, she actually is one that pretty much falls asleep the second her head hits the pillow so what difference does it make?
Men who tolerate this sort of foolishness can't complain. 'I'm in bed, so I want YOU in bed, too! I think your gaming hobby is stupid! Meanwhile, I'm collecting nail polish colors and spend half the day on social media!'
I am surprised, though, at the number of women nowadays who have shaken their programming and either don't give their man a hard time or even play video games with him. In the 21st century I see gaming as no different than other hobbies, within reason.
Well like there are times I will set aside for some long overnight gaming sessions with friends but that's not very often. But for example last week she had gone to bed she had work the next day but I had the day off so after she went to bed I stayed up most of the night playing with friends. About 2 AM she got up to use the restroom and complained that I wasn't in bed. Note I had not played any games that day and we had went out to a movie and had some quality time together. But since she went to bed and I wasn't tired and had work the next day I don't see why it matters, she actually is one that pretty much falls asleep the second her head hits the pillow so what difference does it make?
The difference is the morning, when you are up all night, how are you in the morning, when does she tend to get-up and when do you get-up? Daily gaming with all night sessions is what high school kids do, she is probably evaluating if she wants to deal with someone who acts like they are in high school. These arguments and comments are going to get worse until you understand; well adjusted adults don't sit in-front of a screen with controller in their hands, headset on, playing imaginary games at all hours of the night with their friends, with the exception if somehow they get paid to do it. It is a problem when it is a daily habit, one she will probably soon correct, for herself at least.
All three of my daughters in their 20s would complain about the difficulty finding a guy whose priority in life is not video games. The problem is not playing for a few hours here and there when there is nothing else going on, the problem is it becomes an obsession, they think and say it is only a few hours here and there becasue it seems that way to them, but fail to realize it is the primary focus of their life. Not only do they actually spend substantially more time playing video games than they realize, but the clearly prioritize the games over everything else, including their GF. They will be rude/ignore their GF rather than risk loosing a life or failing to complete the level or whatever. They will choose to stay home from things she finds important because they have an appointment on their video game (or because they just want to play a few hours more - 43 hours a week is not enough).
Put a timing app on your computer and find out how much time you REALLY spend playing video games - it will surprise you.
I don't think she is the right person for you. To me, you accept someone for who they are, and don't try to change them, or they aren't a match. My husband plays video games. And I binge watch Netflix. Or can't put down a book at times and will read for hours. Why is what I am doing with my time more " appropriate" then him playing video games? It's not. Everyone should have time to just wind down, and it doesn't have to involve your partner all the time. To me video games is no different than any other hobby someone would enjoy. As long as it's not constant, you can still hold down a job, and you still do things together, not a problem.
And FYI, if you marry her, this won't change, and will probably get worse.
It's probably a few hours a night unless we have something planned.
If it were hours on a weekend, that'd be no problem. But every night? No.
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