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yeah...but that's not how society is these days, especially people my age.
but, the confident guys...can get girls. so why would they be interested in me, unless just for fun?
Why would they be interested in you? Because you're cute? That's enough to get the ball rolling for a lot of guys, if they have some context in which to get to know you (you know--the group activities).
also, the guys I tend to like and be attracted to, tend to be the opposite of me, which maybe means we're not compatible. I'm vegetarian and like biking, walking, nature, health, philosophy, having interesting conversations, and am sort of hippie-ish...but if there are any guys like that, I'm usually not very attracted or interested. the guys I like tend to be "average", blue-collar types like the last guy. especially if they do some kind of manual labor...lol. he also smoked, which I never thought I would date someone that did, but it turns out it didn't really bother me that much, and I actually liked the smell.
well, like I said, I hadn't really dated anyone else, and...it was all sort of new.
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This sounds like you don't have personal boundaries, much. Which may speak to low self-esteem or family issues.
What do you have for health care? As an unemployed person, are you on Medicaid? If you have insurance, see if it covers mental health, and consider getting some counseling to get a perspective over all this. It sounds like your experience was pretty confusing. You sound a bit in over your head with it.
And I'm wondering if there might be family issues at the root of some of this; it could be helpful to talk to somebody about that. This experience could be a flag telling you that you need to attend to some issues.
Why would they be interested in you? Because you're cute? That's enough to get the ball rolling for a lot of guys, if they have some context in which to get to know you (you know--the group activities).
yeah, but, apparently cute or pretty isn't enough, as people have pointed out.
well, it doesn't seem to be for most people my age, at least most people I've dated or talked to. if they're younger and in school, there is probably a lot more variety, but if they're older and work, most people just work and then tend to be tired and want to relax afterward, so just go home.
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OP, the problem is; you came here for advice, and now you're getting it.
also, the guys I tend to like and be attracted to, tend to be the opposite of me, which maybe means we're not compatible. I'm vegetarian and like biking, walking, nature, health, philosophy, having interesting conversations, and am sort of hippie-ish...but if there are any guys like that, I'm usually not very attracted or interested. the guys I like tend to be "average", blue-collar types like the last guy. especially if they do some kind of manual labor...lol. he also smoked, which I never thought I would date someone that did, but it turns out it didn't really bother me that much, and I actually liked the smell.
I'm starting to recall your earlier thread, now. You bike around town a lot, and stay in shape that way. And guys remark about how in-shape you are, which is weird. IDK where you live, but everywhere, where I've lived, it's normal to be in shape at your age.
By this description here, you seem normal. Maybe you're more mature in some ways, than the guys you dated? And as you say, maybe you go for incompatible types? Most blue-collar guys won't be as intellectual as you, though some can be.
yeah, but, apparently cute or pretty isn't enough, as people have pointed out.
well, it doesn't seem to be for most people my age, at least most people I've dated or talked to. if they're younger and in school, there is probably a lot more variety, but if they're older and work, most people just work and then tend to be tired and want to relax afterward, so just go home.
What about weekends?
RE: cute isn't enough--according to your latest post, you have more going for you than just that. But you also have some stuff holding you back; the lack of a job, and as I recall from your other thread, problems with your living situation/family, that seem challenging to resolve.
This sounds like you don't have personal boundaries, much. Which may speak to low self-esteem or family issues.
What do you have for health care? As an unemployed person, are you on Medicaid? If you have insurance, see if it covers mental health, and consider getting some counseling to get a perspective over all this. It sounds like your experience was pretty confusing. And I'm wondering if there might be family issues at the root of some of this; it could be helpful to talk to somebody about that. This experience could be a flag telling you that you need to attend to some issues.
yeah...but like I said, I wanted to, and I was the one that sort of started, or accelerated things with the other guys. like I said, it was sort of for the experience, and I figured, maybe it would just be that. so they were the ones that then started saying all that stuff, like "what are the chances of you dating me?". they were the ones that started acting like they wanted to date me and have a relationship, so of course that's why I was confused when a few weeks later or whatever, they turn around and drop me. because they were the ones that were acting like I was so great, and it was serious or whatever, which of course made me think that too.
yeah. it just seems like they're so busy, and I feel like I seem pathetic for talking about it.
yeah, and that's when we would usually see each other anyway.
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RE: cute isn't enough--according to your latest post, you have more going for you than just that. But you also have some stuff holding you back; the lack of a job, and as I recall from your other thread, problems with your living situation/family, that seem challenging to resolve.
thanks. not sure what that would be, but I think I'm interesting and smart and funny...but it seems like they don't even want to see that. every time I would try to have a conversation, they wouldn't participate, or would just get up and do something else. or if I said something funny or clever or something, they wouldn't laugh or anything...but if I rolled my eyes or seemed like an airhead, then they would laugh. which made me think that they're just immature, and just want someone cute and pretty, and amusing. they don't really seem to care if you're smart or interesting, or can actually have a decent conversation. or maybe they just need to be the smart, funny ones. idk.
Well, it seems that the topic you've come here to discuss is part of a larger whole, and to address your concerns, the entire picture that is you needs to be addressed holistically.
1. Counseling to help you get a perspective over everything, if you have a way to pay for it. (Insurance)
2. Some kind of job-oriented volunteering, or temp work (do you have a college degree? Skills? Microsoft Office? Tech?)
3. Finding a group activity that interests you, where you can meet people.
yeah, and that's when we would usually see each other anyway.
thanks. not sure what that would be, but I think I'm interesting and smart and funny...but it seems like they don't even want to see that. every time I would try to have a conversation, they wouldn't participate, or would just get up and do something else. or if I said something funny or clever or something, they wouldn't laugh or anything...but if I rolled my eyes or seemed like an airhead, then they would laugh. which made me think that they're just immature, and just want someone cute and pretty, and amusing. they don't really seem to care if you're smart or interesting, or can actually have a decent conversation. or maybe they just need to be the smart, funny ones. idk.
Red flags. They're not into you. Not into getting to know you. OR they're arrogant jerks and don't think you have anything interesting to say. AND/OR they got the message you're into sex, so that's all they care about/keep you around for.
Why continue seeing guys who don't participate in conversations with you? Who walk away from you when you try to have a convo with them? That's really rude. You should get up and leave when that happens, and block them from contacting you.
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