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When it comes to attraction Men don't care about a woman's income or what job they do.
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From what I've seen, personally, many men DO care about a prospective partner's earnings.
But there is more to someone's financial picture, than just what their job is. For example, do they have massive debt, student loans, car payments, etc.
It's easier to say no when it's a white collar professional and a fast food worker. But what if the woman has a decent career but in a traditionally low-paying field: teaching, non profit, social worker, admin, artist, writer? And he's in a well-paying IT field, for instance. The couple can be well matched up on education and intellectual levels but not on income. Not everyone is cut out to be a doctor or lawyer or engineer.
From what I've seen, personally, many men DO care about a prospective partner's earnings.
But there is more to someone's financial picture, than just what their job is. For example, do they have massive debt, student loans, car payments, etc.
They care, but not in terms of attraction.
Women are attracted to rich and powerful men. 50 shades wouldn't have got anywhere if Christian Grey was working minimum wage rather than a billionaire.
Men, as a rule, aren't naturally attracted to women just because they're rich. If there's a woman who's 5 out of 10 in looks but a millionaire and a women is 7 or 8 out of 10 in looks but a waitress, then the guy is more likely to be attracted to the waitress. Men are highly unlikely to be more attracted to a woman just because she's rich.
But yeah if a guy is looking for a partner then he may be smarter than just picking a woman because she's hot and will want someone who is financially in a good place etc. The same way a woman might be attracted to some guy who doesn't have much going for him, but in terms of a serious partner will expect someone with better prospects.
It goes both ways. If it's ok for a woman to reject a man who is working and making minimum wage, then why would it be any different for a man to reject a woman in the same position?
Shallow is in the eyes of the beholder. There are lots of things I think are shallow but others might not think so. In you case, it just sounds like a double standard.
because, it's part of the whole biological thing, where woman naturally want the man to be the provider, and are more attracted to such guys, and those that do manual labor, (lol), while men want women to be nurturing, and of course attractive. guys primarily look at attractiveness first, so why isn't that shallow?
I don't think it's shallow, as everyone's different, and what matters to some may not matter as much to others. but, it's generally true that people want someone "on their level". so if someone is in their late 20's to 30's at least, and has a good job, they usually expect and want their potential partner to have the same. I think the only issue, is when someone like that, dates someone that doesn't, knowing they would never get serious with someone that doesn't have a job, or a good job, or is not "stable," etc., basically using that person, wasting their time and leading them on.
If she works in fast food and doesn't earn much, it may be a dealbreaker. Because it means she is not ambitious and can't get another job. No ambitions = dealbreaker.
If she works with orphans or animals or environmental and doesn't earn much, it may not be a dealbreaker. Because she does it out of charity.
Some ambitious, career-driven individuals don't want to marry another ambitious, career-driven person. They' rather have someone who can play a more supportive, help-mate role, be willing to relocate if his/her job requires it, or have the ability to be the primary care-giver if there are children to raise.
It has always seemed to me that even if a guy is otherwise a good, even great guy if he doesn't make much, say working minimum wage it is acceptable for a woman to reject him for it. But what if it was the other way? Say a man is 30 has a good career going and making good money, he meets a woman also 30 and she is otherwise a good person but is working at fast food. But he rejects her due to it?
Let me put it this way.
Forget the fairy tales. There has to be some degree of commonality in background and interests. That is not to say a guy making $200K a year as a lawyer can't fall in love with a woman who fell on hard luck and is working as a fry cook at McDonalds. But how plausible is that?
Another thing? It's not about the job, but the attributes that got you to that level. Hey, a McDonalds manager makes about $45,000/year, according to Glassdoor. For a 30-year-old, that's perfectly appropriate compensation. What's more, if you're a halfway reliable employee with a decent attitude and a willingness to learn, fast food places do a pretty good job of moving you up.
I worked at an Arby's when I was 18, and all three of my managers were high school dropouts who got jobs at various Arby's locations and busted their asses. I don't visit my local McDonalds very often, but over the past five years, I've watched one woman go from fumbling with the cash register as a trainee to being the manager for the entire store.
So if you're 30 and still working the french fry machine at minimum wage at that same McDonalds (Assuming you're not doing it because your company closed two months ago or you're moonlighting on weekends), then that speaks to a host of other issues at work: Work ethic, unwillingness to find a better job, education level, decision making, you name it. And those same issues are going to surface in a relationship as well.
Women are attracted to rich and powerful men. 50 shades wouldn't have got anywhere if Christian Grey was working minimum wage rather than a billionaire.
Men, as a rule, aren't naturally attracted to women just because they're rich. If there's a woman who's 5 out of 10 in looks but a millionaire and a women is 7 or 8 out of 10 in looks but a waitress, then the guy is more likely to be attracted to the waitress. Men are highly unlikely to be more attracted to a woman just because she's rich.
But yeah if a guy is looking for a partner then he may be smarter than just picking a woman because she's hot and will want someone who is financially in a good place etc. The same way a woman might be attracted to some guy who doesn't have much going for him, but in terms of a serious partner will expect someone with better prospects.
Yep. All those women getting off on 50 Shades of Gray were really looking at the sum total of who he was: Rich and handsome.
If, on the other hand, he was the schlubby assistant manager of an AutoZone somewhere, they'd all be trashing him.
There are some bonuses that come with someone that knows what it feels like to be money poor, but the bigger picture comes from how some one spends and budgets money. A well paid partner could also be high maintanance, or dont know how to save and invest.
My SO likes nice clothes and prissy things, but she is also a bargain hunter and wont buy unless it is on sale. She also enjoys culture food over fine dining. She also enjoys moderate risk from investments over high risk.
Men, as a rule, aren't naturally attracted to women just because they're rich. If there's a woman who's 5 out of 10 in looks but a millionaire and a women is 7 or 8 out of 10 in looks but a waitress, then the guy is more likely to be attracted to the waitress. Men are highly unlikely to be more attracted to a woman just because she's rich.
But yeah if a guy is looking for a partner then he may be smarter than just picking a woman because she's hot and will want someone who is financially in a good place etc. The same way a woman might be attracted to some guy who doesn't have much going for him, but in terms of a serious partner will expect someone with better prospects.
I've seen plenty of men who developed more of an attraction for a woman after finding out she has a high-paying job, a trust fund or is a rich daddy's girl. Particularly if the man came from a lower middle class background, even more so. But money is a powerful motivator for most people regardless of who they are, where they are from.
As for 50 Shades of Grey, yes, women wouldn't have read the book if the male love interest was a blue collar worker instead of a billionaire. They would have thrown the book in the trash and bombarded amazon with negative book reviews. The author was smart, she knew this, she's laughing her way to the bank.
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