I'm worried for my girlfriend (man, therapy, children, divorce)
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She's a university student. She has access to FREE mental health services. She needs to see a professional counselor, not a graduate student in psychology. She needs to go to the health center or counseling center, and ask for professional help and an evaluation.
In the meantime, you need to figure out how to move out to your own place (safely), and tell her you need to take a break from the relationship until she gets help, because she scared the daylights out of you.
Besides, she already said she doesn't want to be with you because you think she needs help. So, there's that.
Yeah, she's stressed about uni, but it's beyond unbelievable the way she's reacting. Today it's because of uni, what will it be tomorrow?
She promised she'll never do it again (I don't believe her). Other than that, I've tried to say the name 'counselling' and she just freaked out saying that 'I don't want to stay with a person that thinks I'm crazy' and 'you're not going to lock me down in a mental hospital'.
Well...
So walk away or continue to make excuses for her behavior and stay. Your choice and nothing anyone else says to you is going to change your decision. Time to be all grown up and figure out how to handle this situation in your life.
we've been together for 2 years and I'm 25 and she's 27.
so... where do I start. My girlfriend has problems in managing anger. When we're having a discussion, most of the time she'll just explode by starting to scream, throwing things around the house, pull her hairs and so on (sometimes she even tried to hit me).
Today something even worst happened. We were not having a discussion about anything, but she was just asking for my opinion on an assignment she needs to do for uni. We already discussed this, so I just said my opinion once again.
For some reasons, this time she found my opinion to be different from the one I gave her a few days ago (which is not true, as she later understood) and she simply started to panic.
She starts to scream, pull her hairs, saying 'you said another thing the other day!!!!', then she go into the kitchen, she grabs a fork and she throw it to the wall. Then she pick it up and she throw it again.
She later calmed down and started to cry, saying she's sorry etc etc (as she always does).
I'm honestly scared and I don't know what to do. Maybe she has a nervous breakdown or something, but she always behaves like this.
What should I do?
Thank you so much!
This kind of inability to handle frustration needs to be addressed. I lived with a partner who could not manage his emotions when frustrated, and in the time we were together, put his fist through a glass cabinet door, snapped off a gear shift indicator in my new car, punched walls, tore a several hundred dollar textbook in half at the binding, threw objects, etc. He never escalated to harming me, but was a self-harmer, and I also strongly suspect he lashed out at the dog, but it's possible the dog was simply afraid of his unpredictable outbursts.
People who can't self-regulate their emotions need to seek help to learn management techniques and tools. That level of instability is toxic and needs to be addressed.
If you want this to change, you either need to leave or leave when that happens or take her to counseling.
Seems I'm clicking 'like' or whatever a lot on your posts, it always tells me to spread the love before I can click another. Anyway, spot-on advice here, but it'll be a chilly day in Hell before he takes it.
I hate ultimatums - they don't help situations, just inflame them.
However, you may suggest that counseling is not only in her best interest, but in the best interest of your relationship. Express your concern that this is escalating and, like any undisciplined behavior, is likely to continue to worsen, unless she seeks some sort of help and understanding. If her behavior does continue unchecked, it will likely occur at the expense of the two of you.
I hate ultimatums - they don't help situations, just inflame them.
However, you may suggest that counseling is not only in her best interest, but in the best interest of your relationship. Express your concern that this is escalating and, like any undisciplined behavior, is likely to continue to worsen, unless she seeks some sort of help and understanding. If her behavior does continue unchecked, it will likely occur at the expense of the two of you.
Just tried to talk with her after dinner and she complained that I'm always talking about this issue and that she feels like I consider her crazy. She also kept going by saying 'I want to be with a person that I can have fun with, not with someone that only wants to waste my time and talk about the same thing.'
She can't even understand that I want to help her. She just sees me as someone that wants to waste her time.
So tell her to go find that guy and be with him. Meanwhile, you move on and be happy with a stable, mature woman who likes you.
Jeez, dude.
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