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I've recently separated with my ex-partner of 3 years. We were engaged and owned a home together. I am now back dating. However, I've found that my friends are not willing to chat about my emotions that aresstill raw after the separation or even acknowledge that I am no longer with my ex, which in turn makes it awkward to talk about my dating experiences which I could do with advice on. Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any advice?
Are your friends married or in LTR's? Maybe they feel they're in a different stage of life than you, now, and can't really relate or they feel like they can't offer advice? Maybe they thought you and your ex were a great couple, and need some time to adjust to the fact that it didn't work out?
How recent is this separation? How did the relationship end? Maybe they don't want to talk about it because of these reasons or because they think you're rushing things?
How recent is this separation? How did the relationship end? Maybe they don't want to talk about it because of these reasons or because they think you're rushing things?
This is what I was going to ask
Don't want to speculate but if HER friends dont want to talk about it then I'd guess it's due to the nature of the break up
They range from being married, in long term relationships or dating/single, otherwise I can see where you are coming from. The majority of people are relieved we aren't together, but if I go to talk about something to do with the split the conversationis cchanged instantly. I'd understand if I had been talking someone's ear off about it and they had had enough of hearing about it, but I have not had anyone just sit and be there and I could really do with knowing someone was there. It particularly hurts with friends who I've supported through their splits and help them get themselves sorted, but they don't seem to want to know. I'm not sure if it's because they feel it's a reminder.
The main thing I've been telling people is that we grew apart and wanted different things. In essence that's true, but the reason why I want to be able to talk to my friends is that he was gay, and of course things aren't really going to last after that revelation. I was the one who ended the relationship because neither of us were happy. But it's not very easy to say that to people when they avoid the subject of the split altogethe.
They range from being married, in long term relationships or dating/single, otherwise I can see where you are coming from. The majority of people are relieved we aren't together, but if I go to talk about something to do with the split the conversationis cchanged instantly. I'd understand if I had been talking someone's ear off about it and they had had enough of hearing about it, but I have not had anyone just sit and be there and I could really do with knowing someone was there. It particularly hurts with friends who I've supported through their splits and help them get themselves sorted, but they don't seem to want to know. I'm not sure if it's because they feel it's a reminder.
Well, OP, my policy on people who don't reciprocate when it comes to personal sharing about relationships, whether it's family issues or romantic relationships gone wrong, is to note that those aren't true friends. You're in some one-sided friendships, you just found out. Perhaps it's time to move those to a back burner, and to try to find friends who are more giving. I don't really see that you have much of a choice, realistically speaking.
Yeah... this was what I was wondering, but it leaves me with very few people to turn to, and I don't want to talk to my family too much because I know they will worry. Thank you for your help.
Yeah... this was what I was wondering, but it leaves me with very few people to turn to, and I don't want to talk to my family too much because I know they will worry. Thank you for your help.
This may seem impersonal, but it seems like you have a need to vent about it. Having a partner reveal that they're gay, leading to a breakup, can be kind of traumatic. I sense that you really need to process this. So I would recommend you see a counselor for a few sessions. If you find someone good, you'll feel better afterwards. Don't underestimate the impact of the situation you just went through. You need some support. It's ok to pay for it, and get a professional with experience.
The main thing I've been telling people is that we grew apart and wanted different things. In essence that's true, but the reason why I want to be able to talk to my friends is that he was gay, and of course things aren't really going to last after that revelation. I was the one who ended the relationship because neither of us were happy. But it's not very easy to say that to people when they avoid the subject of the split altogethe.
I take it they really liked him as a person/boyfriend to you and think you're in the wrong and he's been treated unfairly?
If you feel they're giving you the cold shoulder because of this then I'd tell them that they are being unreasonable and don't know the real reasons why plus after being there for them
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