Should I stop leading her on? (girls, young, casual, feeling)
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Out of kindness to her, I may just let her go. That's probably the more humane thing to do at this point.
"Out of kindness...?"
I mean, it's not like you'e gonna be a hero at this point. You've been taking advantage of the situation for a very long time now.
An actual friend would have done the humane thing and stopped the first time she told you she loved you.
Stop trying to let a woman make you feel better. That's not how it works. You need to work on your self-esteem before you get involved with anyone else in any capacity.
OP, i think the first thing you need to do is STOP DATING period. focus on your life, and building it to be what you want. once you are in a truly comfortable position in life, then you can go back to dating. but be upfront with every woman you date. let her know that you dont expect much from the relationship, that you will be going out with other women, etc. and that there are no strings attached.
that way if they continue dating you when you call, you know they are also looking for a no strings attached relationship.
one thing though to fully understand is, that if you do have sex with any of these women, the relationship changes, and the women tend to expect different things after sex. so be careful whom you choose to have sex with as well.
Last guy I was dating was similar to you. Then he chose a girl of his dreams. Supposedly.Then after 3 months of dating he lent her money.Large amount and she used his azz.Not paying him back and she went back to her ex. Lol!
Moral of the story dumb players don't know a good thing in front of them until they are gone.
The crazy part is I've said "thank you, I dont feel the same but I care about you." I feel like that was above and beyond what I was required to say. I literally could care less about this chick, but I lied to make her feel better (she sounded like she was on the brink of a major breakdown).
It almost feels like Im torturing her because of how much she does in fact love me. Out of kindness to her, I may just let her go. That's probably the more humane thing to do at this point.
Seriously, who stays in a relationship with someone they care nothing about for a year and a half? She's not the loser here. Except for the time she's wasted dealing with you.
There is something especially familiar with the story and particular timing of the post and my own circumstances. If I were the one being lead on, I would want to know right away if you had been sleeping with others throughout the last year and a half. It seems the only half-decent thing to do at this point since you've sent mixed messages to her this long. If she seems unstable, at least give her the credit to know that if your commitment to not sleeping with other people was only meant to apply to her, she has at least done the noble thing by remaining faithful to you. You can suffer your remorse but she will not pine for you once she knows that your story only evolved to keep her guessing. It would be very good for her healing process to know that at least on her side, she respected the integrity of the agreement while you were second guessing your commitment and playing the field. If someone is just a placeholder while you pine for an ex, the relationship is doomed anyway. If the OP's initials are PM, a simple 'yes' through text will suffice.
I assure you, I can handle it.
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