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Dang, 5 months? Really? Get it together. I can see if it were maybe 2 years, but 5 months is easy time to get back.
Plus, he told you off the bat what he wanted and didn't want. Seems like you tried to do the whole "I can change him" thing when he made it quite clear he was stuck in his ways. You were a 5 month fling, in his eyes, and nothing more.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonnymarkjiz
Dang, 5 months? Really? Get it together. I can see if it were maybe 2 years, but 5 months is easy time to get back.
Plus, he told you off the bat what he wanted and didn't want. Seems like you tried to do the whole "I can change him" thing when he made it quite clear he was stuck in his ways. You were a 5 month fling, in his eyes, and nothing more.
"I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me. "
The entire first paragraph of her post = fling. He straight up told her what it all was.
She just didn't believe him.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonnymarkjiz
"I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me. "
The entire first paragraph of her post = fling. He straight up told her what it all was.
She just didn't believe him.
No, it doesn't. They never had a date, never had sex, never did anything. There was no fling. He might have flirted some, but flirting does not make a fling. Something actually has to happen for there to be a fling.
I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me.
He is in his 40s and not had a girlfriend in years but does get shy and socially awkward around women. He did say not long ago to me and some friends when he was asked about dating was that he has had enough of women who answer back, he hasn't married as he has not found the right woman. He also said if he has a relationship he has to give up the hiking groups. I thought that is ridiculous as the right person would not make you give up your hobbies which I even told him this.
There have been occasions where he has said he doesn't do communal bedrooms with the hikers and likes his own space. He also at times has had outbursts, sulked and impatient in situations - not ideal.
I have realised I have wasted my time. I feel shocked and heartbroken now as I had pinned my hopes on him to be let down. How can I rebuild my life and move on? Am I best to cut contact with him? I know he gets annoyed when I talk to other guys but how can he when he rejected me. I still want to see my friends at the hiking group but don't know if I can go with him being there as I will have feelings.
Please can people please point out his red flags so I don't fall for this crap again. Thanks.
Seems like it wasn't very serious in the first place to have to "rebuild your life and move on", doesn't it?
No, it doesn't. They never had a date, never had sex, never did anything. There was no fling. He might have flirted some, but flirting does not make a fling. Something actually has to happen for there to be a fling.
Oh snap! LOL I at least thought they even dated and hooked up. My bad.
Dang, this makes it even worse then. Yeah, OP, the dude emotionally just tugged you along. Move along...but in reality, you didn't really get dumped because well, you guys were just kinda talking. That's about it.
How can you be shocked? There are literally pages where we all told you the same thing.
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Seems the OP struggles with similar problems in other aspects of her life. Maybe she has trouble reading social cues...
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