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Ok, I'm going to take a heck of alot of bashing here I know, but I'm at a crossroads.
I have been w/ a lady over 20yrs now & we're unmarried but I'm getting uncomfrotable w/ things. I have a mess on hand as I got into a worries-pass-you-by mindset far too long. i have met tons of other gals & things could get better w/ many other women I bet, but unsure, & thus hold on to what I got.
Now, I know you all will really come down on me, but this is real hard to discuss. I have done alot to salvage it but I feel I'm trying TOO hard & so am really torn. If I was younger (I over 50 now but still good shape ,etc. but still...) & therefore am really dazed here.
Ok, sorry to vent but this is a forum that many here are v good w/ advice, & am v sorry to sound pathetic. (*shaking my head after writing this*)
What are you afraid you're going to be "taking a bashing for" and who cares if other people look at it negatively? It's your life.
Many people have left a relationship that is no longer fulfilling for them, or makes them feel more sad than happy.
The only thing negative here is --don't leave her for somebody else and say "it's just not working out" if it's not working out, you don't need somebody else.
What are you afraid you're going to be "taking a bashing for" and who cares if other people look at it negatively? It's your life.
Many people have left a relationship that is no longer fulfilling for them, or makes them feel more sad than happy.
The only thing negative here is --don't leave her for somebody else and say "it's just not working out" if it's not working out, you don't need somebody else.
Wow, after a few wines this reads to me like ALgebra, haha, in high school. LOL
Ok, I'm going to take a heck of alot of bashing here I know, but I'm at a crossroads.
I have been w/ a lady over 20yrs now & we're unmarried but I'm getting uncomfrotable w/ things. I have a mess on hand as I got into a worries-pass-you-by mindset far too long. i have met tons of other gals & things could get better w/ many other women I bet, but unsure, & thus hold on to what I got.
Now, I know you all will really come down on me, but this is real hard to discuss. I have done alot to salvage it but I feel I'm trying TOO hard & so am really torn. If I was younger (I over 50 now but still good shape ,etc. but still...) & therefore am really dazed here.
Ok, sorry to vent but this is a forum that many here are v good w/ advice, & am v sorry to sound pathetic. (*shaking my head after writing this*)
Are you afraid to be alone? You need to ask yourself why you would only think of leaving if you are guaranteed something better. Of course you dont know before hand if a different relationship will work, but it’s not fair for either of you if you’re only staying because of fear of a new relationship not working out, or for that matter, if there will even be a new relationship. It seems you are trying to replace something, but hold back only because you aren’t sure if it will work better than the thing you already have.
If your ❤️ is no longer in it, then move on my friend.
You say you've met a ton of other gals and "things could be better" with someone, one of them perhaps, but basically somebody else.
Now, you need to pause and consider:
Maybe it's true, things could be better with someone else. After all, it happens. We get with someone, stick out of loyalty, or fear, or whatever the reason; and then we meet someone else with whom it all just *clicks*.
Maybe. You see, the one thing you'll certainly be bringing from your failing/failed 20-year relationship isn't baggage, it's yourself. That's one constant in every failed relationship you've ever belonged to. That's NOT to say they failed because of you. Sometimes a failure really is one-sided. It is entirely possible to do everything right and still fail.
Nevertheless, even if you're doing things or have done things to salvage what you've got, your presence in and contributions to the failing relationship ALWAYS beg question.
So is the grass simply greener? WOULD things be better with one of these other women? MORE to the point, are you sure THEY (and by that I mean any of this "they") feel the same way?
There's nothing wrong with seeking fulfillment. Divorce happens, life moves on, even if sometimes less comfortably than before.
Just be as sure as you can be the problem is the relationship, and not just you. And be sure of what you plan to do. Is it leave one with the hope of immediately being with another? Because that's called a "rebound" and is a dumb thing to do, as well as being unfair to the person who is the rebound. I've been on the sad end of that one, and while both parties seem invested at the outset, the one doing the rebound later feels differently, which means pain for the person who was the rebound, since they were in a different place emotionally and might have invested fully into a losing proposition.
Leave for the right reasons, if you have them.
Just don't get into something new for the wrong reasons because you're afraid to be alone. Like really alone, for a while.
I have no idea what the problem is. Please explain it.
I think poor ol' movintime passed out on us again from all the "wines."
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