Ex-Girlfriend Needs to let go (girl, cheat, older, separate)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,771,805 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzygreen
This will be controversial.
I think it's unrealistic to just expect someone for whom you used to be a part of their life everyday to simply go on living their lives after a break up like nothing ever happened and just completely move on and forget you ever existed. I don't get why that's a societal expectation. Assuming the breakup wasn't on bad terms (which it might have been in OP's case, I don't know), why do you have to block them on social media, delete their number, and all? What happened to, "things didn't work out between us, but I wish you the best, and I hope we can stay friends"? It's like decency and kindness are gone nowadays.
Obviously, this would not apply if there was a really negative reason for the breakup, like cheating or abuse.
For the record, I don't think this ex is crazy. Maybe she's lonely, maybe she misses you, or maybe she is just drunk or bored. Who knows? You can take a chance and respond, or just ignore it. There is nothing noteworthy about this whatsoever.
This will be controversial as well. The emails and the refusal by the ex to take an L and move on is the textbook definition of crazy (yes I called a woman crazy, sue me) and harassment. She may still have feelings, fine. But contacting OP after he has been clear in not responding is crazy and if the sexes were flipped, people would be telling the woman to file harassment charges.
The reason I do no contact no exceptions whenever a woman and I have decided to not be romantic any further is because frankly, forgetting them is the only way I can move on. They are not entitled to a friendship with me and I don’t want to be reminded that crap didn’t work out with them by them maintaining a presence in my life. She may still have her feelings but that is her problem and her problem alone and her contacting OP is making OP dedicate mind space to her he shouldn’t have to dedicate.
This will be controversial as well. The emails and the refusal by the ex to take an L and move on is the textbook definition of crazy (yes I called a woman crazy, sue me) and harassment. She may still have feelings, fine. But contacting OP after he has been clear in not responding is crazy and if the sexes were flipped, people would be telling the woman to file harassment charges.
The reason I do no contact no exceptions whenever a woman and I have decided to not be romantic any further is because frankly, forgetting them is the only way I can move on. They are not entitled to a friendship with me and I don’t want to be reminded that crap didn’t work out with them by them maintaining a presence in my life. She may still have her feelings but that is her problem and her problem alone and her contacting OP is making OP dedicate mind space to her he shouldn’t have to dedicate.
Oh please - telling someone you miss them in an email is not harassment - unwanted contact but nothing dangerous. She SHOULD be ignored because ANY reinforcement will only lead to more unwanted contact, easy as that - no need to say she's crazy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,771,805 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Oh please - telling someone you miss them in an email is not harassment - unwanted contact but nothing dangerous. She SHOULD be ignored because ANY reinforcement will only lead to more unwanted contact, easy as that - no need to say she's crazy.
Merriam-Webster says different.
Quote:
b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct
Dude has gone through the trouble of blocking this woman, clear he don’t want her. Her not taking a hint is annoying and clearly harassment ie crazy. Key word: unwanted.
Dude has gone through the trouble of blocking this woman, clear he don’t want her. Her not taking a hint is annoying and clearly harassment ie crazy. Key word: unwanted.
Well, if he can get someone to arrest her, then go for it! Or he can be a grown up until something more happens.
Refresher: Got divorced and entered into a relationship last year. Hindsight this was a rebound relationship. Anyhow, I ended it several months ago and I told her to not contact me. I’m not a let’s be friends after a break up kind of guy. Experience has shown that doing so invites complications and drama.
Aside from that, beginning in October I’ve met an amazing woman who enjoys road trips and hiking. Compliments my photography habit very well so we’ve been having a blast together.
But...the ex girlfriend likes to email me once in a blue moon since I’ve blocked her calls/texts. I don’t respond at all. And she needs to just stop. I’ve had to mark her emails as spam now.
Anyhow, wanted to share her last two email shenanagians with the most recent one being a little...I don’t know...psychotic/irrational.
When we broke up, she said she would delete all my contact information. She didn’t.
This doesn't sound all that crazy to me. Lonely and missing you maybe, but not crazy. You probably hit her out of the blue with the breakup.
Dude has gone through the trouble of blocking this woman, clear he don’t want her. Her not taking a hint is annoying and clearly harassment ie crazy. Key word: unwanted.
Yeh if it was a guy doing this to a woman then it would be considered harassment and creeping. But since it's a woman apparently it's not a problem.
Yeh if it was a guy doing this to a woman then it would be considered harassment and creeping. But since it's a woman apparently it's not a problem.
No means no.
I disagree with this...
If a man wrote pretty much that same email, it might be annoying if a person didn't want to receive it, but it's not remotely harassment, and I'd tell a woman who asked me the very same thing.
It sounds like this person probably drinks (as the OP indicated) and she gets lonely and she probably has no clue why this guy dumped her.
I think he should contact her, strange as it sounds. Tell her it's not personal, but he doesn't remain friends with exes and tell her that he made a mistake getting involved too soon after his divorce and he knows that now.
Tell her she's a nice person and he enjoyed their time together, but they were pretty much doomed from the start because he wasn't mentally in the right place for a relationship.
Tell her he is happy now and he's moved on and he just wanted to tell her that he would have stopped talking to ANYONE after a breakup, so please not to take it personally and to understand that they're just not going to be friends going forward because he doesn't feel comfortable with post-breakup friendships.
I'd lay it all out on the table and if she contacted me later, I'd block her.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,771,805 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
I disagree with this...
If a man wrote pretty much that same email, it might be annoying if a person didn't want to receive it, but it's not remotely harassment, and I'd tell a woman who asked me the very same thing.
It sounds like this person probably drinks (as the OP indicated) and she gets lonely and she probably has no clue why this guy dumped her.
I think he should contact her, strange as it sounds. Tell her it's not personal, but he doesn't remain friends with exes and tell her that he made a mistake getting involved too soon after his divorce and he knows that now.
Tell her she's a nice person and he enjoyed their time together, but they were pretty much doomed from the start because he wasn't mentally in the right place for a relationship.
Tell her he is happy now and he's moved on and he just wanted to tell her that he would have stopped talking to ANYONE after a breakup, so please not to take it personally and to understand that they're just not going to be friends going forward because he doesn't feel comfortable with post-breakup friendships.
I'd lay it all out on the table and if she contacted me later, I'd block her.
If a man wrote that email, he'd probably be taking a trip to the county jail for harassment. The dude already made himself clear about no contact, just because the woman is the one doing the act nothing will probably happen, which I think is a problem.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
