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My wife and I were in the same spot a while back. She wanted a tattoo, I wasn't crazy about the idea. We worked out a compromise:
I would go with her to get it.
Nothing too large or in a stand out location.
She's not getting one in a place only I should be touching her.
She ended up getting our kids' birthdays on her right forearm, and on the inside of her left arm she got one that matches up to one I actually got on my right arm.
So not only did I lighten up to the idea of her getting one, I got one and am considering another.
She's not getting one in a place only I should be touching her.
LOL.. Oh man.. ur no fun! j/k
I think it is great you two were able to come to a compromise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikefromNY
I got one and am considering another.
That's how it starts... A few years go by and suddenly you are considering sleeves... lol Me I've been considering one for decades and haven't gotten one yet... so your ahead of me.
Honestly at this point in my life, I'd be most likely to get into a tiff with a partner over spending that kind of money on something like that. Ink is not cheap. I have some large tattoos from when I was younger, but my financial priorities have changed since then.
While I'm not a fan of tattoos, I have enough self-awareness to understand that this is merely my very subjective opinion.
I'm always amused by the legions of people who think their subjective opinion is an objective fact. But I'm disgusted at the people who obviously want the person getting a tattoo to regret it later on, and are pre-emptively reveling in the future regret that they're gleefully imagining. There is something profoundly wrong with that.
I don't care for tattoos, but if my husband wanted one, it would be his choice, not mine, and the same the other way around--if I wanted one, it would be my business, not his.
People change and grow over a lifetime of marriage, and that includes little things like tats.
I think they're trashy. If my wife got one with your attitude I would not be happy. I've been with girls who wanted to do things like that and they asked my opinion and always took it into consideration. They always didn't get the tattoo or belly piercing or whatever I think partially because they knew I wouldn't like it. If they would have, I wouldn't have said much else though. I would think less of them for it and be embarrassed to have my family know she had one. It also seems kind of immature. You're married now. Tattoos are something you get when you're in you're 20's and being young and crazy IMO.
I'm generally a liberal person, but I think they're trashy as well. However, there are those times when I find them attractive if the lady is attractive. I know I'm wrong on so many levels for saying this but here goes:
If I consider my wife to be extremely attractive, then I don't care about her tattoo. If the wife is not attractive to me (yes ladies, some men do marry women that they don't find attractive) then in my mind, the tattoo is like placing a deep scratch on a car with 3 dents and a bad paint job (I am soooooo WRONG I know, but that's how I feel).
I'm generally a liberal person, but I think they're trashy as well. However, there are those times when I find them attractive if the lady is attractive. I know I'm wrong on so many levels for saying this but here goes:
If I consider my wife to be extremely attractive, then I don't care about her tattoo. If the wife is not attractive to me (yes ladies, some men do marry women that they don't find attractive) then in my mind, the tattoo is like placing a deep scratch on a car with 3 dents and a bad paint job (I am soooooo WRONG I know, but that's how I feel).
Personally, other than small , unobtrusive ones, that's how I view them.
But , there have been times when the tats are the best looking thing about the person.
I took it (the "unknown threat") as him feeling threatened maybe by a tattoo artist touching her? My ex was like that too. I was like, "please...you didn't care when I had a male OB/GYN. These people are too busy doing their jobs to be excitedly groping your property, you silly man." I wanted to be a tattoo artist, once upon a time, until I realized that if you're good enough to make a living at it, you basically do NOTHING ELSE with your life. You are either drawing or tattooing and your work really takes over. I want a life outside of work, so it just wasn't for me. And when I got mine done, I got to see up close and personal how intense a level of concentration and effort it takes.
I know I was a bit jerky (kinda on purpose to make a point) in my first reply here, but seriously...like anything, if this is important to you, then find a partner who shares your values. It's not rocket science. You don't need to back it up with a sweeping judgment of people who choose differently. There are plenty of things I don't find attractive, but I don't go around calling people names just because I'm not attracted to them. As another person mentioned, your subjective opinion does not objective reality make. It comes off as pretty egotistical to expect your whims to hold so much weight in the world. I mean, who do you think you are? I've seen some body mods that I thought looked trashy...and many that did not. Not my body, not my business.
With regard to aging: If I reach a point where my tattoos look bad because my body has aged, I guarantee I would be displeased with the look of my body regardless. With or without the art, I could be fussing over wrinkles and sagging skin. People age, everyone knows that. But one point to make, a lot of the presently old people who have tattoos got them in a time where they were not a.) done as well as many are today, and b.) told how to properly care for them. You have to protect them from the sun, for one thing. I started caring a whole lot more about sunscreen after I got mine.
I'm not bent because there are people who wouldn't date my tattooed self. Good chance I wouldn't date you either for one reason or another. We really need to let go of this idea that a "no thanks" to the question of partnering equates to some sort of value judgment of a human being. I can respect people that I don't want to date.
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