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If people like you want to rush into things like that and not "hedge your bets" and "cover your butt" that's your problem, not mine! I don't understand why anyone would want to "rush" into marriage like you did. I mean, if you think you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, what's the big deal about waiting a few years to tie the knot? Why can't you just be together and be happy? Why do you have to "put a ring on it"? Surely if your relationship is going to stand the test of time, waiting a few years is NOTHING!
But you want to make it your business and your problem, for no good reason. Everyone else has to suffer. It doesn't matter if you understand or don't, you want to micro manage everyone else's life, because YOU don't understand.
You know why I didn't want to wait 5 yrs? Cause that would've been 5 yrs wasted, before I would be eligible for my husband's SS benefits for one thing.
AGAIN (Is this the 3rd time I've asked?) Why DO YOU care when people get married? How does it affect you?
You've been using lots of explanation points, as though this is something that makes you really angry...Why?
Hey Jimmy, if poor people can't get married, do you think that will prevent them from having kids anyway? Or do you want to legislate that too?
And I'm curious. How would the "authorities" know when two people decided to get married. Couldn't they just say it was a year ago, even if it was a week ago?
And I expect you will want to set up a federal agency with staff and officers posted in every county and municipality to enforce your laws and punish offenders. What should the annual federal budget be for that special police force?
Well, if you are Catholic, you do have to jump though a lot of hoops to get married. And Catholics tend to stay married longer than the average US population. In the Catholic Church you have to take per-marriage classes (which is basically all the stuff the OP is talking about, carefully looking at things, making sure you are sure, making sure you are on the same page about children, commitment, expectations, etc). Living together before marriage is a big no, no though in the Catholic Church.
I think it's interesting that Atheists are tied with Catholics in the least likely to get divorced camp. I wonder why that is? Just based on the Atheists I know, I think they are probably more educated than the general population (and higher education is linked with lower divorce rates).
I think the OP’s idea is a good one, but let’s be honest, unless you take away people’s personal freedom, it’s not going to happen. You have to look out for yourself.
IMO, that makes all of the other stuff the Catholic Church requires meaningless. The only way to be sure you can live with someone is to live with someone. There is no way that I would have got married without actually trying out what it would be like including living together and having sex.
Procedurally a divorce is not more difficult than getting married. The difference is people getting married aren't usually arguing about it and fighting over who gets what. If you have two people on the same page, a divorce is a simple rubber stamp type deal.
You have to apply for and receive a license to get married, and then its as quick and easy or as long and drawn out as you want to make it. Everyone can and should ask for a pre-nuptial agreement.
Divorce is similar - its as quick and easy or as long and drawn out as the couple wants to make it too. Kids create complications, unless one or more parties doesn't want them.
The only problem I see to marriage is what people are thinking when they say their vows. I cant help but think that some are thinking, "if I keep my fingers crossed behind my back then the promises don't count" lol.
Exactly. Marriage is a legal contract. There are all sorts of ways to protect the one you love via marriage that you don't have without it - or, the loopholes can be large, and things are on shakier ground, overall if it isn't there. Even with common-law marriage, in some cases.
My father married his wife on his death bed after decades together for this reason, even though nobody was after his lack of a fortune, LOL. (Sorry, Daddy, rest in peace.) And I believe he also wanted absolute assurance that his DNR could/would be enforced by his wife, specifically. They just wanted it that way. Again, nobody was going to fight them on this when that point came but it made THEM feel better and more assured, and he died more content, I believe.
And if you plan on having children, again, it makes certain things easier and to an extent, more certain though there are never any guarantees.
Marriage, even when there's a romantic motivation, almost always has some sort of "solidity" behind it where people feel the need to make things official, even if for their own attitude and peace of mind. It definitely serves a purpose. Honestly I don't think that takes the romance away, either. It's a long tradition. People dig it.
It seems to me the a lot of drawn out divorces are over rights for the children and property rights.
So you make hoops and drastically drive down the marriage rate.
People do not legally get married, but they cohabitate. They have kids. They buy property together and accumulate assets. Some, maybe many share assets in joint accounts, etc.
Then when they break up they avoid divorce but lawyer up anyway and end up in court litigating the same things the married couples do when they get divorced: Child custody and visitation, and division of joint assets and wealth.
So I guess... I do not follow what this really helps? Especially when the survival rate of 1st time marriages is going up and now around 70%.
I think it's interesting that Atheists are tied with Catholics in the least likely to get divorced camp. I wonder why that is? Just based on the Atheists I know, I think they are probably more educated than the general population (and higher education is linked with lower divorce rates).
Maybe, but atheists are also much less likely to have hang-ups regarding premarital sex and living together before marriage. They have no reason to get married earlier in life to someone they barely know in order to have those things. I imagine they know their spouse pretty well by the time they marry them, unlike some super religious people.
The pre-marital classes aren't a bad idea for some people, but I'm on the atheist side of things here. I am actually Catholic, but Catholics would say I'm a really bad one, because I am not getting married by or in the church and have lived with my fiance for years now So yeah, I know how many children he wants and whether we're on the same length financially, etc. already.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy12345678
Stupidity is a plague on humanity that should not be allowed to freely continue.
I agree. Maybe City-Data should more closely police who gets to sign up to post on the forums.
I agree that it should be much harder to get married. But it should be much easier to get divorced
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