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She has set clear boundaries - you're in the friend zone. Are you ok with being just friends with her? Because chances are, that's as far as it will go.
I was in a similar situation a while ago. I wasted over a year of my life being kept at arm's length with a guy who never intended to take things further, yet wanted to call, text, go out, etc.
You're only a few weeks in - you can decide now if you're ok with her not seeing you in a potential-sexual-partner way.
People in the friend zone don't cuddle. She simply can't make up her mind.
OP, I don't know what her ultimate intentions are. It may be that she doesn't have any. If you like her and she is a good friend, enjoy the friendship. If it develops into something more, wonderful. If not, she's still worth knowing, right?
I hate this all-or-nothing attitude about friends vs. lovers. It seems to me that a balanced life could benefit from both kinds of relationship.
That's because the horn dogs out there want to hop in the sack after 3 dates (3-date rule)
And what's your personal experience? From your threads I gather that you're still looking for it to happen, so perhaps it's worth to change your strategy?
If I had any idea how to improve, I would be going out and enjoying dates rather than being a keyboard warrior here..
OP, you are her proxy boyfriend. She still has the desire for some intimacy, but she is not attracted to you as more than a friend. The cuddling is a bit puzzling until you figure out that she is trying to replace some of the lost closeness she felt with her ex.
Is rebound too strong of a word here?
I would suggest keeping your options open. If she is truly your friend, that's fine, but I think it unlikely that she is ready for anything more, at this point, and you are going to get frustrated, soon. Sounds like you are nearly there.
I would be interested in her reaction if you found another person to date. It could be that the two of you could remain friends, but her reaction would be telling.
OP, you are her proxy boyfriend. She still has the desire for some intimacy, but she is not attracted to you as more than a friend. The cuddling is a bit puzzling until you figure out that she is trying to replace some of the lost closeness she felt with her ex.
Is rebound too strong of a word here?
I would suggest keeping your options open. If she is truly your friend, that's fine, but I think it unlikely that she is ready for anything more, at this point, and you are going to get frustrated, soon. Sounds like you are nearly there.
I would be interested in her reaction if you found another person to date. It could be that the two of you could remain friends, but her reaction would be telling.
I'm not frustrated, actually. I've learned to be comfortable with myself enough to not need to be in a sexual relationship.
At the same time, if this doesn't have a realistic chance of going somewhere, I'll probably start going out and meeting people again. Because I also don't really want to be single in my 30s.
Btw, I totally understand why you're calling it a rebound. To some extent, perhaps it is. But keep in mind that she's also an extremely independent person - due to the nature of her previous job, she basically couldn't have friends, so she learned to do everything solo.
OP, I don't know what her ultimate intentions are. It may be that she doesn't have any. If you like her and she is a good friend, enjoy the friendship. If it develops into something more, wonderful. If not, she's still worth knowing, right?
I hate this all-or-nothing attitude about friends vs. lovers. It seems to me that a balanced life could benefit from both kinds of relationship.
I do intend on sticking with her in the near term. I would probably give her a lot of space if either of us ends up in a relationship with someone else. Both for my sake and the other person - the stuff I've been doing with the her isn't run-of-the-mill platonic guy friend stuff.
For me the main question is if I should back off a bit so I have time to meet someone new - or stay the course and let her initiate when she's ready to escalate.
OP, you are certified friend zoned. If she was that into you, she’d not pull the “I need time to heal” card. I’d forget about this one ASAP.
If that's the case, why would she say "Not yet" instead of "I don't see you that way" when I told her I wanted to kiss her?
Unless you think she's intentionally leading me on - which I would strongly disagree with, based on how I know her.
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