Weird online dating photos

[jade408]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

I'm willing to be friends with transsexuals, but I haven't knowingly met any. I know nothing about the transsexual scene, and I'll admit it. Yes I am clueless to their language and their agenda. Yes I'm aware that if such a person tried to pass themselves off as a woman and date unknowing men that would be very dangerous.

I'd be happy to be friends with a transsexual, and get to know a bit more about it. But I wouldn't be interested in dating one.

You are basically chiding me because I have no experience or knowledge in this area. You're the expert on sex, perhaps you can PM me and tell me what I said wrong. I think you know me well enough to know that I would not knowingly offend anybody.

I have a handful of trans acquaintances, and they are just like everyone else. They tend to call themselves men or women first. And may specify trans woman/transman if it is relevant. They are married or in relationships. The people I know are also heterosexual. One woman I know is married to a transman, she identified as bisexual. Another few transman I know is married to a woman who herterosexual. And a transwoman I know dates only heterosexual men. She is in the middle of her journey and is saving up for surgery but taking hormones. The other people have also had surgeries.

Honestly it is no big deal. Trans people are just like everyone else, but have one thing in common with women - everyone seems to want to regulate their bodies and get all up in their business instead of just minding their own business!

[Lovehound]

I have one online friend who is TG, but no other experience. I've had plenty of GLB friends IRL and they have been good and interesting friends.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

I have one online friend who is TG, but no other experience. I've had plenty of GLB friends IRL and they have been good and interesting friends.

I think you know (I hope) but I'm going to be clear to others who see our exchange, that I'm not so much trying to be scoldy or look down my nose at you. I think that you have good intentions, but like most, not a ton of experience or interaction with trans people. Given that they're quite a small percentage of the population, that is...well, pretty normal.

I think that a lot of people (myself included) have good intentions but don't always say the right thing, and there have been times that something I thought was ok, that maybe was previously ok to say or even what others told me I SHOULD say, someone then shocks me by saying, "This is not ok" and I'm like wait wait...since when? *sigh* The goalposts move as the language shifts and evolves over time, even if you are thick in a community with a higher than average representation of, say, trans people, it can be hard to keep up with.

So I find that I do a thing of saying to myself and others, "I will try." I don't get upset when I'm corrected and I ask others not to get upset when I err, especially when it was an accident or a slip or a mistake. I think that a lot of getting along compassionately is about taking other people's intentions into account, and asking for the same in return. And simply...trying.

I commend you for having an open mind and a willingness to hear other perspectives and enjoy diverse friendships. Keeps life so much more interesting, doesn't it?

[Lovehound]

I appreciate that Sonic. There are so few TGs compared to say gay men for example, that it's understandable that I have met none IRL and only one online. My BFF (after 20 years) came out of the closet and was surprised when I told him his gayness didn't bother me. That began a period of several years where I had the fortune to meet and have good times with many of his gay friends. (I had a few previous gay friends who I didn't know as well.) I'm sorry I don't know more TGs so I am simply uninformed in that subject area.

It's the same thing as why I enjoy dating different races, ethnicities, nationalities, etc., because diversity has enriched my life. I'm always open to meeting new people of any variety as long as they too are unprejudiced.