Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's the long and the short of it really. For some men anywhere is a good place to meet women, for other men nowhere is. It all comes down to attitude.
For me it's always been about the reaction of the other person.
If someone approaches me and begins a conversation in controlled environment I generally am very social. However, if someone looks stand offish I generally will not initiate.
I think that is a natural reaction for most people. If OP is in a certain part of the country where people tend to be stand offish then that is not conducive to socialization and meeting new Women in general. This is why I'm big on relocation if it's just not working in your locale. When I lived in Philly a while back I virtually found no Women attractive or easy to get along with unless they were from abroad. Something about the local PA Women were just very off putting. Back home in NY I never had any issues either before or after that. That being said I am born and raised in NY.
For me it's always been about the reaction of the other person.
If someone approaches me and begins a conversation in controlled environment I generally am very social. However, if someone looks stand offish I generally will not initiate.
I think that is a natural reaction for most people. If OP is in a certain part of the country where people tend to be stand offish then that is not conducive to socialization and meeting new Women in general. This is why I'm big on relocation if it's just not working in your locale. When I lived in Philly a while back I virtually found no Women attractive or easy to get along with unless they were from abroad. Something about the local PA Women were just very off putting. Back home in NY I never had any issues either before or after that. That being said I am born and raised in NY.
I think I get what you mean. When I lived in Colorado I found people to be very open and willing to meet new people but in New England people seem to me to be a bit more cliquish. In NE most women you go out with are either people you know or people who know people you know, or at least that was the case for me. The only exception would be college bars since a lot of the girls were from out of town, or townie girls coming in to the city specifically looking for some "fun". In Colorado women would approach me and start conversations. I think it's because you get a lot more transplants there. Everybody didn't grow up together or even if they did they were used to new people coming and going all the time.
That's the long and the short of it really. For some men anywhere is a good place to meet women, for other men nowhere is. It all comes down to attitude.
It's a very good point.
Maybe the OP didn't mean it that way, but describing yoga classes as a goldmine of women seems predatory. I'd say yes, a majority of yoga classes are made up of women...who go to do yoga, not look for dates. A guy who shows up sniffing around for dates is not going to be welcome.
If you go to any sort of activity, not for the activity itself but in hopes of getting dates, it's not going to be successful because you aren't being genuine.
You admit you have rarely done yoga, so you don’t really know what types of classes are out there. The power vinyasa classes attract a lot of younger people because it’s a really good workout. It’s quite challenging to do a lot of the balancing poses like a handstand or headstand.
I have done about 2-3 yoga classes lifetime but did more interval training style classes. Yoga isn't at all my thing. I was thoroughly underwhelmed with interval style classes as a means of finding dates, even though most interval classes are majority female.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Yoga may work better than the gym. But it's hard to imagine how it would work at the gym. Everyone has headphones and are focused on working out. I've been going/lifting 2-3 times a week for 15+ years and never have seen any flirty socializing at any gym I've been going to. It's not conducive to that.
If a person uses the gym to find dates, the male approacher is going to have to approach women using headphones/earbuds. The population of earbud wearers is too large to ignore. You can see which women are more open to an approach through eye contact & other body language to an extent. However, if there's an attractive woman with earbuds in, she should be approached if it is at all feasible.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,037,797 times
Reputation: 40635
Well, I prefer to use the gym for what it is intended for, lifting and I'll let the other people there doing the same to do their thing. I hardly think working out is enough of something in common to want to chat with someone, which is taking time away from why I'm there and why they are there.
I hardly think working out is enough of something in common to want to chat with someone.
Exercise is my biggest passion in life, so it's a commonality that I want to have in a romantic relationship. As a result, it would make sense for me to do gym/fitness class approaches. That's why I was so disappointed with my outcomes over time on approaches in fitness classes, and have done better in other venues. It's my greatest disappointment of any in-person venue of approaching.
Exercise is my biggest passion in life, so it's a commonality that I want to have in a romantic relationship. As a result, it would make sense for me to do gym/fitness class approaches. That's why I was so disappointed with my outcomes over time on approaches in fitness classes, and have done better in other venues. It's my greatest disappointment of any in-person venue of approaching.
Why not do outdoor/fitness-oriented meetups then? It still isn’t going to be an approach to come onto people, but at least in my area there are plenty of hiking meetups for different age groups. I have also seen lots of boot camp meetups, running meetups (and I mean HUGE groups of runners), biking groups, etc. Those are actually for people into fitness who want to MEET people and be social. Heck, many stores even set up their own fitness groups outside of meetup. I went to one fitness store that had yoga classes and a running group. I know REI, LL Bean, Athleta, etc. all usually offer activities through the stores. Smaller/local stores might have them too.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,037,797 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
Exercise is my biggest passion in life, so it's a commonality that I want to have in a romantic relationship. As a result, it would make sense for me to do gym/fitness class approaches. That's why I was so disappointed with my outcomes over time on approaches in fitness classes, and have done better in other venues. It's my greatest disappointment of any in-person venue of approaching.
It's a huge part of my life to, but its something I do solo, so having it in common isn't very relevant. I really don't know any, or at least many, people that don't work out though. It's hardly an extraordinary thing. But, I can't recall ever developing an attraction to someone at a gym because we don't interact much; nothing more than a: "are you using this" or something along that line, and usually done with gestures than words because everyone is on headphones. The only gym where everyone wasn't on headphones I went to was the YMCA in the Presidio of SF (it was near my work) and that was because it wasn't mostly people not really there to work out, but to socialize. It was pretty annoying.
Fitness classes are not really a great pickup venue for younger women from what I've experienced first hand and observed from others, even though it might seem like a good idea. Most of what I will say applies to high intensity interval training (HIIT) type classes.
With fitness classes, you have a workaround with the gym earbuds thing, and that is good. However, I have approached women wearing headphones/earbuds in a non-class setting. It is possible, though more challenging.
Most people I've seen are not social before or after classes. Even female-female socialization is rather limited. I've seen this replicated at multiple venues.
There are more efficient pickup venues. Why go through a 45-60 minute fitness class just for maybe 5 mins before/5 mins after of approach time? Most HIIT fitness classes will put a guy through a solid workout, but a guy could get similar results lifting weights independently and maybe doing random approaches while lifting independently. As for yoga, it attracts a slightly different type of female, but maybe some of the same trends apply. I have rarely done yoga.
I have known one younger guy who had a track record of at picking up 40 something divorced women at suburban gyms/fitness class, but I have heard fewer stories of younger guys picking up age appropriate women at gyms/fitness classes in larger cities. There might be a reason that I've seen fewer guys using classes as a pickup method. One well known book about seducing women as a result of meeting them at non-bar venues only devotes 1 page of 200+ to gym/fitness class pickups.
No one has headphones at a boutique fitness class.
This year I mostly skip the gym for classes, and I am shocked at how much chatter there is after my studio classes. I have met so many people, but I am not particularly looking for new friends at the moment. Mostly women.
I’ve also been to the extra social classes - yoga/spinning with DJs and champagne or other beverages.
Do you like yoga? if not, then no. Women will see you as someone just trying to meet girls. They can tell...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
