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There's a 21 year age gap between me and my wife. Some people are ok with it but there are a lot of people who really have a major problem and seem to want to let their opinion be known even when it's really not welcome. It's becoming very irritating. I just wanted some advice on how to deal with this.
Are you newly married? Time usually takes care of this.
There's a 21 year age gap between me and my wife. Some people are ok with it but there are a lot of people who really have a major problem and seem to want to let their opinion be known even when it's really not welcome. It's becoming very irritating. I just wanted some advice on how to deal with this.
It would be extremely rude for people to comment spontaneously on your relationship. I would tell them "We are happy, I suggest you spend your time and energy on your own relationships."
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I get it. You're collecting c-d forum user names. You post some pot-stirring post, then log on with your other accounts and give yourself rep points! Clever! Do you reply too?
Hmmm. I remember a guy here on the city forums talking about his much younger girlfriend, and some issues he was having with her.
Most people kind of made fun of him, for dating a girl so young, and she was just with him for the money and security, and so on and so forth.
But you know, at the end of the day, all that matters is; Are you and your wife happy? Yes? Then just say "We're happy" smile, and walk away. You're probably going to have to draw your lines in the sand at some point. If people are going to give you crap, they get one warning, and then you put them on ice.
My GF and I got together when she was 17 and I was 28, which of course raised a lot of eyebrows but I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. We are still happily together after 7 years and about to be engaged. As you get older especially it starts to matter less. It’s more awkward at the start I think but after people know you two are serious it shouldn’t be a big issue I think.
Obviously like whatever poster you’re talking about I have the money in the relationship but that hasn’t ever bothered me to be generous and support her dreams and now she makes her own money. It’s nice to be taken to dinner sometimes too!
Americans will always have a problem with age gaps. In other cultures there may be an initial shock (if it's the reverse, the Wife being older) but eventually they get over it.
Americans love drama over trivial things. Distance yourself from those individuals they are not your friends (even if they say they are) and if they are family then skip Thanksgiving this year.
No experience in this type of relationship. Ignore the ignorant but, do be cognizant that as you both age there will be a very difficult end of life program ahead for both of you. More complex than same age final years.
I would assume he's the younger one. With a 21 age gap, one of them must be over 40. And most people, past age 40 don't care so much about what other people think. So the poster comes across as young. You get to a point in life where you realize that opinions are like belly buttons. Everyone has one and a lot of them stink (note, the real analogy isn't belly buttons, but this is a PG forum).
And if you do care, you have to learn to grow a thicker skin. Growing a thicker skin will 1) make it so this stuff doesn't bother you in the first place and 2) make it so it's boring for people to tease you with this kind of stuff because most people do it to get your goat.
I would as well, since older men who date the (as told on CD) much more socially valuable young women get back slaps and attaboys in public, while a young man who would deign to spend time with a supposedly much less socially valuable older woman would obviously need to be viewed with concern and pity.
Our neighbor here is 65 and married 3 years now to a 30y/o Filipina. She thinks other women are unkind to her but I keep reassuring her they are just jealous. I feel bad for her with all us retirement folks and no one her age. But she kinda lives on her phone....so. She's good for him---keeps him in shape, hair dyed, etc.
I think in her culture, it's not uncommon to have a much older man....
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