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And I agree with you, but women are wired very differently than men. I know my share of women who will or have chased an exciting man, because the chemistry was there, even though he may have went against many of the things she wants from a romantic partner. I'm not blaming women for making that decision either, since it's their life and they can live as they see fit.
For me, the date wasn't bad enough for me to not see her a second time and likely even a third time. I can maybe think of one or two dates I've been on in my life where I knew I didn't want to see the woman again. Most dates I've been on, I would have been open to a second date, even if I didn't feel the chemistry was hitting me upside the head on the first date. This is coming from a guy who's chased women where the chemistry was there instantly and the women weren't exactly trying to keep me as a serious figment in their life. The chemistry was fairly one sided in those particular scenarios.
I think if I'm at least not repulsed by the person and the conversation is good, it may take another date or two to see if the chemistry develops or if it remains flat. That's just me though and not everyone thinks the way that I do, and that's okay too.
@ Millennial Urbanist and Weezerfan - I can understand women needing a connection, however...(and I have said this for years and years) way too much emphasis put on chemistry and also, a lot of women want it right then and there, and it just ain't going to be right then, and there altho it can be developed, over time as both people get to know each other but then again, so many people nowdays, jump too fast into something and not take that time to get to know each other and that's a lot of the reason the divorce rate being so damn high, is some select people don't take the time to get to know each other. Their basing their attraction off the physical.
@ Millennial Urbanist and Weezerfan - I can understand women needing a connection, however...(and I have said this for years and years) way too much emphasis put on chemistry and also, a lot of women want it right then and there, and it just ain't going to be right then, and there altho it can be developed, over time as both people get to know each other but then again, so many people nowdays, jump too fast into something and not take that time to get to know each other and that's a lot of the reason the divorce rate being so damn high, is some select people don't take the time to get to know each other. Their basing their attraction off the physical.
How is it up to you how much emphasis others should be putting on chemistry? Its an individual decision.
I rarely feel chemistry with anyone these days, but when I did, it happened pretty early on. I'm not one of those people where someone just "grows on me," if it's not there, it never will be. It's either there or it's not.
The last woman I dated, it took 2 or 3 dates for it to click. We even joked that both of us were trying to break up with each other, but in the end we ended up dating for a couple of months. If it wasn't for the distance, we'd probably be still dating now honestly. We went out on a third date and everything kinda sorta just clicked. Up to that point, I was really leaning towards just ghosting her, but we kept staying in intermediate contact. I agreed to hang out the next day and changed plans on the fly. She drove to my town, she rang the doorbell, I opened the door, and at that moment I didn't care about the other women I was dating at that moment.
So even I'm aware that sometimes chemistry can come when you least expect it, but I think you get so many one and done dates that people forget that the person they may develop instant chemistry with, isn't the person they would enjoy a long-term relationship with. With chemistry can come drama and a good amount of women I've liked immediately and with intense emotion, ended up being a lot of heartache and emotional drama for me. The feelings were definitely one sided, so I'm a lot more open to dates taking its time these days.
The last woman I dated, it took 2 or 3 dates for it to click. We even joked that both of us were trying to break up with each other, but in the end we ended up dating for a couple of months. If it wasn't for the distance, we'd probably be still dating now honestly. We went out on a third date and everything kinda sorta just clicked. Up to that point, I was really leaning towards just ghosting her, but we kept staying in intermediate contact. I agreed to hang out the next day and changed plans on the fly. She drove to my town, she rang the doorbell, I opened the door, and at that moment I didn't care about the other women I was dating at that moment.
So even I'm aware that sometimes chemistry can come when you least expect it, but I think you get so many one and done dates that people forget that the person they may develop instant chemistry with, isn't the person they would enjoy a long-term relationship with. With chemistry can come drama and a good amount of women I've liked immediately and with intense emotion, ended up being a lot of heartache and emotional drama for me. The feelings were definitely one sided, so I'm a lot more open to dates taking its time these days.
@ Weezerfan - the last woman I dated, she ended up being pretty mean and controlling and she got po*d when she found out, she couldn't control me.
I rarely feel chemistry with anyone these days, but when I did, it happened pretty early on. I'm not one of those people where someone just "grows on me," if it's not there, it never will be. It's either there or it's not.
I rarely feel chemistry with anyone these days, but when I did, it happened pretty early on. I'm not one of those people where someone just "grows on me," if it's not there, it never will be. It's either there or it's not.
Me too. But you do have to be careful; just because the chemistry is there doesnt mean everything else is.
It's to be kind and spare feelings. I personally have always known pretty much right away that I was attracted. I have never regretted not pursuing a situation where I wasn't feeling it from the get-go. To me attraction is really the point. Otherwise, the person is a friend.
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