Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Onn
Yes, but without knowing the label, if one is self-aware and knows ones own tendencies and needs and boundaries, I would think a "demisexual" would avoid sex without a connection.
Now, someone who doesn't understand their own needs and feels like they need to live up to some societal expectations? Then their actions may not line up with their needs, odds are making them unhappy, even if they can't define why.
Or their actions in having may be based on high libidos. Even asexuals can have high libidos and they will choose to have sex with a person to meet that need, though they do not feel sexual attraction to the person they are doing it with.
In the day of everything being PC, and everyone being equal,?? Every different faction of breathing has developed a sexual name for what they are. So, everybody is equal, except where they're different.
The day when we had to remember Heterosexual or not are over. Your mission is to memorize the following 22 types, and use them correctly in your everyday life to make sure that no one is offended or labeled incorrectly. ( in a time where we don't like labels??
Aromantic: Experiences little or no romantic attraction to others.
Asexual: Someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction to others. Perhaps the most famous asexual is Tim Gunn, of Project Runway fame.
Bigender: People who feel they have both a male and female side.
Cisgender: Gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth, or in other words, not transgender.
Demiromantic: Doesn’t experience romantic attraction until a strong emotional bond is formed.
Demisexual: Doesn’t experience sexual attraction until a strong emotional connection is formed. In general, demisexuals aren’t sexually attracted to anyone of any gender, until they are drawn to a specific person.
Gender binary: The idea that there are only two distinct and different genders: Female/Male.
Gender fluid: Gender identity that varies over time. Think Jaden Smith, who’s the newest face of Louis Vuitton’s women’s line. He recently made headlines for wearing a skirt in the company’s new Spring/Summer 2016 ad campaign.
Gender non-conforming: Behaving and appearing in ways considered atypical for one’s gender.
Gender normative: Behaving and appearing in ways considered typical for one’s gender.
Gender normative privilege: This is a subset of gender normative, which refers to the privilege experienced simply by virtue of being gender normative or perceived as such. For example, people who are gender normative can assimilate without being stared at. They’re not asked whether they’ve had the surgery, called by incorrect pronouns, nor do they have to worry about harassment or violence.
Genderqueer: May not identify as male or female, but as both, neither or a blend. This person might refer to themselves as a demigirl or demiguy. See also nonbinary gender.
Gray-asexual or gray-sexual: Experience sexual attraction very rarely, only under specific circumstances, or of an intensity so low that it can be ignored. This is considered the gray area between asexuality and sexuality.
Heteronormative: The belief that everyone is a heterosexual.
Heteroromantic: Romantically attracted to the opposite sex and/or gender.
Homoromantic: Romantically attracted to the same sex or gender.
Intersex: Biologically neither completely male nor completely female; this is now the preferred term to hermaphrodite.
Nonbinary gender: Gender that isn’t exclusively male or female. Pronouns used are usually they/them. See genderqueer.
Panromantic: Romantically — but not sexually — attracted to others regardless of sex or gender.
Pansexual: Romantically and sexually attracted to basically anyone. Bisexuals are attracted to men and/or women, whereas pansexuals look beyond gender as they’re also attracted to transgender, intersex, genderqueer, etc. Similar to polysexual.
Polyamorous: Having open relationships with multiple partners that may or may not include polysexuality.
Polysexual: Attracted to multiple genders while rejecting the idea that there are only two genders (male and female). Bisexuality and pansexuality are forms of polysexuality. The differences are slight; rather than being attracted to all genders (like pansexuals), polysexuals are attracted to multiple genders, not necessarily all.
Whew. Hopefully you learned something. And here’s another thing to keep in mind: Wherever you might be on the spectrum, what’s important is your happiness and comfort — not a label.
I’ll be honest i give 0 fugs about any of these terms/labels and what the people feel about them. I’ll mind my own business won’t judge but keep your personal **** out of my space.
It’s just a bunch of people that don’t feel special about themselves wanting something to hold on to. A look at me moment that I’m different recognize it and re-affirm the hole they truly have.
I’ll take a hard pass on all that spotlight stuff and just ignore them.
A friend and I were discussing this and I thought it would be a good thread for this forum. How many people are demisexual? My friend thinks most people are, but aren't familiar with the term so they don't identify that way. I tend to think most people aren't that way.
For those unfamiliar with the term: a demisexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction to a person unless they have already formed an emotional bond with the person. A demisexual person might look at a person on the street and think "hey, she looks good," but wouldn't be able to get aroused unless they got to know the person well first.
Some people confuse it with being chaste, or being opposed to casual sex for other reasons. The difference is that declining to have casual sex is a choice people make for various reasons (not wanting to seem "easy," being wary of STDs, etc.), but for a demisexual person, you just can't summon the desire to have sex with someone you don't know well.
Then there is an attraction. So what if they have to emotionally connect to desire them sexually. That is the whole package. I think they used to call this romantic.
I’ll be honest i give 0 fugs about any of these terms/labels and what the people feel about them. I’ll mind my own business won’t judge but keep your personal **** out of my space.
It’s just a bunch of people that don’t feel special about themselves wanting something to hold on to. A look at me moment that I’m different recognize it and re-affirm the hole they truly have.
I’ll take a hard pass on all that spotlight stuff and just ignore them.
So why write a post about it, if you don't care so much?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
Then there is an attraction. So what if they have to emotionally connect to desire them sexually. That is the whole package. I think they used to call this romantic.
Not necessarily. I can think people look good, or a very good looking, or even hot, and not at all have any attraction to them. They are not synonymous things for many people.
Asexuals can think someone is beautiful and never be sexually attracted to anyone.
Not necessarily. I can think people look good, or a very good looking, or even hot, and not at all have any attraction to them. They are not synonymous things for many people.
Asexuals can think someone is beautiful and never be sexually attracted to anyone.
And that's the thing I struggle to explain to people.
I think that there are people out there who, assuming that Person A is sexually available (single, whatever, interested in finding a sex partner) and they see someone very good looking, and if Person B (the good looking person) were to walk up and say, "I am really horny, want to go hook up?" ...there are people who would be down. Or in some kind of party context, I don't know. Someone you don't know but you think they look amazing.
Some people, in that scenario, in the position of Person A, would feel a bad feeling in their gut owing to the fact that there is no love. They don't have enthusiastic desire to engage in sex with that stranger, without taking the time to form an emotional bond.
Some people, like me, in the position of Person A, would say, "Let's go somewhere and talk" and if we chat for an hour and I LIKE them, if I like their energy, if they don't come off as negative, if they don't make me feel like they are pushing for something, if they seem reasonably intelligent to talk to and we communicate well... I might be willing to go have sex with them. I don't know if I could love them or not, or if that will ever happen. I've had plenty of sex with no expectation or desire for a relationship or love to be part of the picture. Odds are it won't happen, but it could. On rare occasions it does. But if I didn't get a chance to talk to that person? Or if we don't communicate well? Like maybe we don't have a good common language or something? No. I get a horrible feeling in my gut and I want to shrink, hide, run, leave. It is very uncomfortable, I really do not want them. (This actually made me the lame person at a friend's birthday party which got a bit orgiastic, when I would not engage in activities with a beautiful and willing young woman--because I didn't know her! At all!)
Not necessarily. I can think people look good, or a very good looking, or even hot, and not at all have any attraction to them. They are not synonymous things for many people.
Asexuals can think someone is beautiful and never be sexually attracted to anyone.
But "demisexuals" are open to it, if they connect emotionally. I assume they must have some physical attraction at first, although not necessarily, and it can become sexual as they develop feelings. One can find a stranger hot in more than a generic way but not get tingles unless there is something more. Again I think this is more of a female thing (in some women) that is a normal part of their heterosexuality.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
And that's the thing I struggle to explain to people.
I think that there are people out there who, assuming that Person A is sexually available (single, whatever, interested in finding a sex partner) and they see someone very good looking, and if Person B (the good looking person) were to walk up and say, "I am really horny, want to go hook up?" ...there are people who would be down. Or in some kind of party context, I don't know. Someone you don't know but you think they look amazing.
Some people, in that scenario, in the position of Person A, would feel a bad feeling in their gut owing to the fact that there is no love. They don't have enthusiastic desire to engage in sex with that stranger, without taking the time to form an emotional bond.
Some people, like me, in the position of Person A, would say, "Let's go somewhere and talk" and if we chat for an hour and I LIKE them, if I like their energy, if they don't come off as negative, if they don't make me feel like they are pushing for something, if they seem reasonably intelligent to talk to and we communicate well... I might be willing to go have sex with them. I don't know if I could love them or not, or if that will ever happen. I've had plenty of sex with no expectation or desire for a relationship or love to be part of the picture. Odds are it won't happen, but it could. On rare occasions it does. But if I didn't get a chance to talk to that person? Or if we don't communicate well? Like maybe we don't have a good common language or something? No. I get a horrible feeling in my gut and I want to shrink, hide, run, leave. It is very uncomfortable, I really do not want them. (This actually made me the lame person at a friend's birthday party which got a bit orgiastic, when I would not engage in activities with a beautiful and willing young woman--because I didn't know her! At all!)
Yup. My lady friend can tell if she wants to have sex with someone with just a glance. It doesn't even cross my mind until I've spoken to them. If there is chemistry, it comes into my mind fairly quickly. For her, unless they do something to turn it off, she wants it.
I need a connection (its not emotional, its mental). She does not. Neither of us need an emotional connection. Neither of us is demisexual.
It really isn't a hard concept. I don't understand why it seems to be for so many.
... Even asexuals can have high libidos and they will choose to have sex with a person to meet that need, though they do not feel sexual attraction to the person they are doing it with.
That sounds contradictory to me.
'Asexuals' I know, have no desire to engage in sex. They are defined by their lack of libido. Engaging in sex is only going to happen when it is against their will.
If a person has a high libido, they desire sex. Therefore they cannot be asexual.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner
If a person has a high libido, they desire sex. Therefore they cannot be asexual.
Not at all true. There are some great conversations on this on AVEN, if you care to read more about it. Plenty of asexuals have high libidos, they just don't have sexual attraction to individuals. They're not at all contradictory.
They are APPARENTLY contradictory to those of us that are hetero, or homo, etc because we tie together, innately, our attraction to individuals with sex. But asexuals do not, or, many do not.
There are many such discussions out there if you car to delve into it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
