Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The confident guy that acts like he doesnt NEED the attention of the women he is talking to, acts like he knows hes interesting. Doesnt necessarily face her with his body, not looking at her all of the time. Typically is answering the questions as opposed to asking them. This stuff you can see, and its not subconscious, its right out there.
I don't see that as indicators that the guy has had positive experiences with women. IME, guys who really do feel positively toward women face them, don't use the typical PUA posturing as shown above, etc. They don't need to and they don't want to. They're confident that their interest will be responded to just because they know they like women and women generally like them. (This doesn't necessarily "have" to be true, but the questions is about perception.)
I wouldn't think that because a guy wasn't looking at me and his feet were pointed away from me that he was confident. And definitely looking away a lot seems insecure. It seems like scanning the room because he figures this particular convo may fail, or else that he's uncomfortable socially or incredibly bored. Those aren't about confidence. They're just typical PUA baloney, frankly.
I don't see that as indicators that the guy has had positive experiences with women. IME, guys who really do feel positively toward women face them, don't use the typical PUA posturing as shown above, etc. They don't need to and they don't want to. They're confident that their interest will be responded to just because they know they like women and women generally like them. (This doesn't necessarily "have" to be true, but the questions is about perception.)
I wouldn't think that because a guy wasn't looking at me and his feet were pointed away from me that he was confident. And definitely looking away a lot seems insecure. It seems like scanning the room because he figures this particular convo may fail, or else that he's uncomfortable socially or incredibly bored. Those aren't about confidence. They're just typical PUA baloney, frankly.
When I was in my early teens I remember that I had a habit of making eye contact with any girls that I found cute, then I would hold that eye contact and give them a flirty smile (I was pretty much trying to say "heeey cutie, what's up?" with my eyes), and then I just walked away and waited for them to make the next move.
I think I was trying to mimic Leonardo DiCaprio when he had that scene in "Titanic" where he held eye contact with the character Rose for the first time.
This actually seemed to be quite well-received;
several of those girls ended up approaching me a few minutes later, so it certainly seems like a pretty positive sign if a guy is able to hold a flirty eye contact for a while.
I was definitely much more likely to be approached by the girls that I had made eye contact with like this, probably because I showed some playful interest without appearing "needy" in any way - I typically did this if it was slightly tricky to start a conversation with those girls at those specific moments.
Maybe I should start doing that again.
Dude, you're best to say something, not just stare at her.
I meant in situations where it isn't that easy to start a conversation.
For example, one girl was sitting on a bus while I was outside, and another girl was dancing for herself at a disco.
Also, they weren't just super-long eye contacts to the point of being creepy either, they were maybe about 7-8 seconds long after they had noticed me.
Basically, they were eye contacts of the type "hey it's hard to talk to you right now, but I find you interesting, so feel free to approach me later if you want to".
My point is that confident men are not waiting for women to approach them. They are confident enough to do it themselves. Not being able to approach women is pretty much the definition of lacking confidence.
My point is that confident men are not waiting for women to approach them. They are confident enough to do it themselves. Not being able to approach women is pretty much the definition of lacking confidence.
Fair point.
I sometimes feel too proud to approach girls, but I do of course realise that this is a silly mentality;
some girls could very likely be secretly interested in me but too shy to make any approaches themselves, so it's probably better to think of it as "giving them a chance" by approaching them myself.
I meant in situations where it isn't that easy to start a conversation.
For example, one girl was sitting on a bus while I was outside, and another girl was dancing for herself at a disco.
Also, they weren't just super-long eye contacts to the point of being creepy either, they were maybe about 7-8 seconds long after they had noticed me.
Basically, they were eye contacts of the type "hey it's hard to talk to you right now, but I find you interesting, so feel free to approach me later if you want to".
Youre not supposed to be waiting for women to approach you, they likely wont. If you see them and they smile at you, you go say hi.
Fair point.
I sometimes feel too proud to approach girls, but I do of course realise that this is a silly mentality;
some girls could very likely be secretly interested in me but too shy to make any approaches themselves, so it's probably better to think of it as "giving them a chance" by approaching them myself.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Markus86
Fair point.
I sometimes feel too proud to approach girls, but I do of course realise that this is a silly mentality;
some girls could very likely be secretly interested in me but too shy to make any approaches themselves, so it's probably better to think of it as "giving them a chance" by approaching them myself.
If you aren’t interested don’t waste time approaching them. Don’t just give them a chance only because they are interested.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
