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Old 05-23-2021, 08:26 AM
 
3,287 posts, read 2,020,538 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post

So, OP, have you developed your social life? Done any circulating at all since 2018? You know, if nothing's changed with this doctor in 3 years, it seems clear he's not really into you, or he would have referred you to a colleague for your medical needs, then would have asked you out. So, he's just messing with you, along with his other women patients, undoubtedly. Honestly, it's hard to believe you've been clinging to some flimsy shred of hope for this guy for 3 years. Time to get out into the real world.
Or the OP is really bad at reading cues and is completely misreading or embellishing the Dr.'s behaviors.

 
Old 05-23-2021, 10:06 AM
 
16 posts, read 12,015 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
[Snip.]



So, OP, have you developed your social life? Done any circulating at all since 2018? You know, if nothing's changed with this doctor in 3 years, it seems clear he's not really into you, or he would have referred you to a colleague for your medical needs, then would have asked you out. So, he's just messing with you, along with his other women patients, undoubtedly. Honestly, it's hard to believe you've been clinging to some flimsy shred of hope for this guy for 3 years. Time to get out into the real world.
Actually, I hadn't gone to see him in a year and half (so I've been busy, to answer your question), and when I came back in he had escalated this behavior to what he did this time (cup my cheek gently and also give me a hug).

I always detected a vibe with him and naturally this makes me wonder even more. It was like in this photo (except that his face wasn't quite as close and his hand was a bit higher: https://bodylanguagecentral.com/what...hes-your-face/ )

I think most women would wonder "what's what" if this happened to them. I'm not sure why my follow up question a few years later seems to offend you...?

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-23-2021 at 11:41 AM..
 
Old 05-23-2021, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,302,876 times
Reputation: 8628
Find a new doctor.

That is highly unprofessional.
 
Old 05-23-2021, 11:25 AM
 
6,451 posts, read 3,969,739 times
Reputation: 17187
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).


Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
Or the OP is really bad at reading cues and is completely misreading or embellishing the Dr.'s behaviors.
I dunno. Like I said... I have never ever had a doctor "cup my face." Maybe put their fingers on my chin and move my head if they need it moved, but nothing like OP describes. And hugging? Oh, no way.

Regardless of how OP is reading it, this guy is absolutely putting misreadable behaviors out there. If he doesn't know better... he needs some help from a professional mentor about appropriate interactions with patients. (Because even if he thinks "it doesn't mean anything," wait until he tries it with someone who's going to get obsessed and start stalking him or making allegations...)

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-23-2021 at 11:41 AM..
 
Old 05-23-2021, 11:51 AM
 
Location: NW Indiana
44,348 posts, read 20,049,980 times
Reputation: 115281
OP, I agree with those who said the doctor's "attraction" to you may simply be your imagination running wild. Because you are crushing on him, you are reading too much into his touches and gestures.

Because you admitted to having a crush on him, you should find another doctor immediately.

If the doctor is, indeed, touching you inappropriately, you should find another doctor immediately.

You first posted about this matter 2.5 years ago and apparently nothing has changed. If the doctor was actually interested in you romantically, he would have made a move long before this. Put the brakes on your imagination, stop drawing this out and find a new doctor NOW.

.
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Old 05-23-2021, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,364 posts, read 14,640,743 times
Reputation: 39406
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJSaturn View Post
OP, I agree with those who said the doctor's "attraction" to you may simply be your imagination running wild. Because you are crushing on him, you are reading too much into his touches and gestures.

Because you admitted to having a crush on him, you should find another doctor immediately.

If the doctor is, indeed, touching you inappropriately, you should find another doctor immediately.

You first posted about this matter 2.5 years ago and apparently nothing has changed. If the doctor was actually interested in you romantically, he would have made a move long before this. Put the brakes on your imagination, stop drawing this out and find a new doctor NOW.

.
There is only one possible psychological context in which I don't necessarily agree with this. But I suspect that a lot of people may not be wired for it...

If you looked at it as 100% an amusing fantasy that lives in your brain and nowhere else, and if you felt VERY confident that he would not press the matter to a point where you had to deal with it in real life, and you had no intention of doing so, either.

And especially if it motivated you to visit the doctor to get important stuff done, when otherwise you might put it off. Which...lol...seems pretty improbable, given what OP is saying here!

I'm only saying this because my dentist comes off to me as almost kinda sorta flirty, or at least, he says things that make my brain go "WHAT!?" at times. But his wife works right in the same office, he's got a whole family, he's definitely (at least in my opinion) not trying to start anything with me. I think he's just having a bit of fun, and he's probably got one of those audacious personalities where he's mildly flirty with people all the time. I allow it to amuse me, and I look forward with great curiosity to if he'll say anything wild every time I visit, and then if he does, I tell it as a story to all of my friends, which just makes it more fun. But guess what, though? He told me to floss my teeth and I started flossing my freakin' teeth. He tells me to come in in six months for another cleaning, and I do. I'm taking better care of my teeth than I ever did in my whole life.

But he's never tried to contact me outside of visits or do anything that crosses a real line, and my instincts have never sounded any alarms. Also, this is not the kind of office where he sedates patients, or sees patients in real privacy, so...any stories anyone ever heard about docs or dentists getting up to consent violations on patients, not really possible here.

In other words, I feel safe. I feel totally certain that nothing is gonna go anywhere from this. And I'm able to just let it be funny without making anything more of it.

If any doctor or dentist I was seeing as a patient, ever propositioned me or asked me out, I'd turn them down and never go back. Because it means that they have no grasp on ethics, not even when those ethics have been explicitly laid out in front of them to follow.
 
Old 05-26-2021, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Southern California
12,767 posts, read 14,963,616 times
Reputation: 15326
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
So, OP, have you developed your social life? Done any circulating at all since 2018? You know, if nothing's changed with this doctor in 3 years, it seems clear he's not really into you, or he would have referred you to a colleague for your medical needs, then would have asked you out. So, he's just messing with you, along with his other women patients, undoubtedly. Honestly, it's hard to believe you've been clinging to some flimsy shred of hope for this guy for 3 years. Time to get out into the real world.

I agree!

So OP, what are you going to do? You either stay in this rut & keep being a victim of him abusing his authority around (while laughing in his mind about what a sucker you are for allowing this to continue) OR you stop seeing him as a doctor immediately, which myself & many others have said. I know you said you like him, but IF he truly liked you in that way, he would have surely done the proper & appropriate thing about it WAY, WAY by now, I mean you 1st started about this back in 2018 my God (which I personally didn't know this whole thing started back then). And I have no doubt he does this w/ many/most of his other female patients.
 
Old 05-28-2021, 03:42 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,653 posts, read 87,023,434 times
Reputation: 131607
This Russian troll thread is going nowhere.
Closed.
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