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Basically I am ashamed of lack of hobbies. I spent over 10 years mostly locking myself in my room everyday and not talking to anyone. I just feel really ashamed of it in the sense that I have no good past memories since I did that for so much of my life and feel that I have missed out a lot, and wasted so much time, and feel ashamed by it.
That's something that you're going to have to get right with in your own mind--you did what you did and you are how you are. You don't have to confess everything to strangers, but getting to know you questions aren't uncommon, especially when you're meeting an SO's family. You need to be able to make conversation that you're comfortable with without having a panic attack. Anticipate the questions you get asked and have a script prepared for when they come up.
Okay thanks, but it was very hard for me and I kept trying to change the subject cause they keep asking more and more questions. Like one answer just opens more doors, for them, sort of thing. After I got home I started crying and almost threw up.
I mean this in a big brother way. But why are you such a snowflake.
OP this is just one of the things you are going to have to learn to deal with if you want to become an independent adult...like the one who wants to manage their own money and create that feature film. Anyone interested in supporting your feature film will be grilling you a lot more harshly than your gf's parents are. How are you going to face them if you can't face this minor problem? All these fears, insecurities, and immature troubles in your life are connected.
Basically in conversations with my gfs parents they will ask me questions about me like what do I do, and things about my past, but really hate talking about myself.
I feel really ashamed of my past and regret a lot of the decisions I made, and I don't really like talking about my job, lack of career, goals, etc.
So when people ask me questions that I don't want to talk about in social situations like that, how do I avoid answering them? I don't mind talking about them perhaps, or at least not as much, I just don't want to talk about myself, if that's possible.
Assume you have a daughter and she is a young adult. Now assume that types of things you’d want to know about her lover.
Is he a killer
Is he a felon
Does he abuse women
Is he a drug addict
Is he using her for money
Clearly asnswer their questions that relate to their daughters safety and well being. And they will stop asking.
Well, certainly it doesn't sound like you're a serial killer or some fugitive wanted by law enforcement! You have a past in which you confined yourself to a hobby, right? Look, it's understandable that you don't like to discuss your background so deeply, yet by the same token your gf's folks want to know more about the guy their daughter is seeing. I'd disregard that "bob-and-weave" advice; just briefly tell them about your past. Briefly. A few words to give a general idea of your life, ideas, upbringing, etc. If they delve too deeply, then you can get vague and change the subject...but be subtle and tactful about it.
Oh yeah for sure I am focusing on the future now. It's just they keep asking me questions about my past, and not my present or future. So that's the problem I have with social situations with them.
Because the past is concrete and your future is only what you hope it will be. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, in their eyes.
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