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I have followed your posts for a couple years and have determined that you don't really want a boyfriend or husband oh, you want someone to work around the house and babysit for you. You want someone who is there when you want them but other than that you could care less. You want to be able to go drinking with your buddies whenever you want and not have to answer to anybody. you expect to give a guy a little bit of attention and have him stick around. you have said multiple times you don't like or need sex so that is a problem too. No guy wants to be a babysitter and houseboy if he isn't at least getting some sex. It's nice to feel wanted too.
The reason you are getting the I am just not happy excuse is they don't want to hurt your feelings by explaining why they really want out. Unfortunately you are doomed to be alone the rest of your life unless you can find a guy who wants to do like you. Go to the bar when he feels like it and come home and not have to give any excuses. No emotional connection just do some housework, pay your bills and get laid once in awhile. Not a situation any guy I know would want to be in.
I never expect them to babysit. That is one thing fiancé and I fight about. He says I don’t trust him to take care of my kids. I don’t trust anyone except my parents and our retired nanny to take care of them. I don’t trust my sons father to look after my son. It is has nothing to do with fiancé or his ability to take care of them.
Lol. Seriously? As if they send out a memo ahead of time.
That was my thought.... do BF's come Certified Pedophilia Free?
Does LowonLuck think women this has happened to were like "yeah, I KNOW he is a pedophile, but he does the yard work...."
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Might be some truths here. I am not a super emotional person and yes I do expect people to be smart, strong and be responsible. I suck at relying on anyone for emotional support, nor am I good at doling it out. When I am going through things that is when I become more closed off. I tend to muster up strength and get through it alone.
I don’t have much trust in people. I have high expectations. Willing to try to teach someone but if you are incapable of learning than I lose patience.
Its seems like you want a finished product, while you want your partner to accept you as a work in progress. And it is almost as if you are in a parent/child dynamic in these romantic relationships and one-sided. I'm just basing this off of the information that I have. Maybe you should spend some time trying to be a true partner and help meet. Read some books, spend some time around people that have successful relationships. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Might be some truths here. I am not a super emotional person and yes I do expect people to be smart, strong and be responsible. I suck at relying on anyone for emotional support, nor am I good at doling it out. When I am going through things that is when I become more closed off. I tend to muster up strength and get through it alone.
I don’t have much trust in people. I have high expectations. Willing to try to teach someone but if you are incapable of learning than I lose patience.
Teach them what? To change in the ways you have said you will not?
Honestly you sound like you don't really want anyone else in your life right now.
Might be some truths here. I am not a super emotional person and yes I do expect people to be smart, strong and be responsible. I suck at relying on anyone for emotional support, nor am I good at doling it out. When I am going through things that is when I become more closed off. I tend to muster up strength and get through it alone.
I don’t have much trust in people. I have high expectations. Willing to try to teach someone but if you are incapable of learning than I lose patience.
This is good. I'm on your side, and your relationship troubles are hardly 100% your fault, but this is some good personal clarity.
"I am not happy", when said by a woman, is most often code for: "I settled down with you because I was done partying and wanted stability in my life, not because I found you attractive. Now that you gave me stability, my lack of attraction toward you is catching up with me, and it's messing with my emotions. I want you to fix it, but I can't guarantee that it'll make me feel attracted to you." A woman who managed to settle down with a naturally desirable man won't be "not happy", because such a man's company is its own reward, bringing "happiness" by default.
When said by a man, "I am not happy" is usually code for: "Not enough sex." Much easier.
I never expect them to babysit. That is one thing fiancé and I fight about. He says I don’t trust him to take care of my kids. I don’t trust anyone except my parents and our retired nanny to take care of them. I don’t trust my sons father to look after my son. It is has nothing to do with fiancé or his ability to take care of them.
I'm curious why you'd marry someone you don't trust around your children.
While I get, and support the idea that single mothers need to be EXTREMELY cautious about letting boyfriends and live-in boyfriends be in charge of your babies, I would think that by the time you agree to marry someone, you have a level of trust, since you've semi-committed yourselves to shared lives.
"I am not happy", when said by a woman, is most often code for: "I settled down with you because I was done partying and wanted stability in my life, not because I found you attractive. Now that you gave me stability, my lack of attraction toward you is catching up with me, and it's messing with my emotions. I want you to fix it, but I can't guarantee that it'll make me feel attracted to you." A woman who managed to settle down with a naturally desirable man won't be "not happy", because such a man's company is its own reward, bringing "happiness" by default.
When said by a man, "I am not happy" is usually code for: "Not enough sex." Much easier.
You prove again, you don’t know women. The “I’m not happy” was just the opposite for me. I settled down with someone exciting and attractive, who never grew up and didn’t quit partying. There’s a time and place for everything, people change, not always through selfishness, but sometimes selflessness. I never go looking for stable or unstable.
One day when (if) you’re ever ready to lose those preconceived notions that have you arrested, you may understand. But it’s not looking good for that type of miracle, is it?
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