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No, it's not. There is literally nothing about what you quoted below that argues choice or the lack thereof. Nothing. The issue is shared responsibility, whether or not one can contribute to their partner's infidelity. Whether or not they are actually due fidelity unconditionally. Please pay attention.
Cheating, by it's very definition involves lying. There is literally nothing someone else can do that forces you too lie. You choose to lie because telling the truth has consequences you don't want to deal with. Someone might contribute to the failure of a relationship, but no one contributes to being cheated on.
Yes, we are. It's the basis of the two camps you presented. That's really the only point of contention in this thread:
Whatever. Happy new year, and pass the chocolate.
Ha....I think I'll pass on the chocolate.
When someone is clearly in the minority on something then it behooves them to give some reasons why they believe as they do - philosophy, logic, personal experience, etc. Otherwise, if they can't or won't, it sounds very contrarian and trollish - that they have no real reason other than to be argumentative.
So, PTC, rather than just say no one has read the post or imply we're all stupid - give some real arguments to keep the discussion going.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
No, it's not. There is literally nothing about what you quoted below that argues choice or the lack thereof. Nothing. The issue is shared responsibility, whether or not one can contribute to their partner's infidelity. Whether or not they are actually due fidelity unconditionally. Please pay attention.
The answer is clear. There is shared responsibility in maintaining the relationship and no, no one can contribute to another person's decision to cheat/lie (infidelity).
There really is no debate here, outside of those who wish to try to not take full responsibility for their lying cheating ways. Those people are scummy, by definition.
When someone is clearly in the minority on something then it behooves them to give some reasons why they believe as they do - philosophy, logic, personal experience, etc. Otherwise, if they can't or won't, it sounds very contrarian and trollish - that they have no real reason other than to be argumentative.
So, PTC, rather than just say no one has read the post or imply we're all stupid - give some real arguments to keep the discussion going.
It appears the topic directly impacts the OP, her actions, and/or the actions of her partners.
Usually, when that is the case, nothing will change their mind. The impact to their psyche would be more than they want to deal with.
Armchair psychology, you get what you pay for.
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The right to fidelity came with my wedding vows. Full stop.
Saying you have to earn fidelity is a slippery slope. "You never take out the garbage like you are supposed, so I got jiggy with another man." It's always SO awesome when one person thinks everything in the marriage is great, then they only find out the other was unhappy when they discover the infidelity.
Of course both parties have an obligation to work on the marriage, and strive to be a good spouse. If one party feels the other isn't, I don't think the punishment should be sleeping with other people, and sleeping with other people certainly is not a solution.
Exactly, that's YOUR experience with a very small portion of society.
Not everyone else's.
a) I neither said nor implied that this was the experience for the majority.
b) The suggestion that the majority makes it reasonable is proven wrong every day, so you're going to have to do better.
Quote:
Sorry your relationships have taught you that type of dysfunction is okay. If you want to practice non monogamy, inform your future partners. But we don't have to agree with you.
LOL. Why are you making this personal? Dysfunction? It's working just fine for me. My relationships have much more meaning now that I know I *have* to put in the effort vs thinking I'm entitled to their loyalty. This isn't about getting you to agree with me. I don't care that much. And I walked in here knowing full well that the *majority* are not all that great at moving past their feels, but that alone is valuable to me in the way of understanding the challenges we face as a society.
When someone is clearly in the minority on something then it behooves them to give some reasons why they believe as they do - philosophy, logic, personal experience, etc.
I did lol. And ad populum.
Quote:
So, PTC, rather than just say no one has read the post or imply we're all stupid - give some real arguments to keep the discussion going.
I didn't say "no one" has read the post. And I didn't imply you were "all" stupid. But when all one can manage is snark and sarcasm, it's not because they're smart.
a) I neither said nor implied that this was the experience for the majority.
b) The suggestion that the majority makes it reasonable is proven wrong every day, so you're going to have to do better.
A) Really?
B) I have to do better? Lol that's funny.
Seems heavily implied in these posts you made.
Perception is a funny thing isn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
Lots of married folks out there cheating. Millions of people aren't "scummy". That's not an objective explanation for why people cheat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
Nah, it's just the reality of relationships, all kinds. People often end them because needs are not being met. They cheat for the same reason.
It was inevitable it was going to happen. Big shot CEO with millions in the bank. I'd be outright shocked he didn't cheat. He was going down this route no matter how his wife treated him. Money is options and corruption.
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