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My guess? Either they forget the bad stuff and only remember the great times, or they just got dumped and need to find someone new. (Or their standards are too high and they figure out finally that no one is going to meet them, so they start looking back at what they rejected...)
More alike than you may think, there are brain scans of people newly in love side by side with people high on LSD and speed based X and the brain is lit up in the same places. it's the only "natural" way(non chemical) for most people to achieve that high.
Nope I re-read my OP and you are correct, sorry about that my mind was in a jumble last night so I was thinking faster than I was typing. And yes she did verbally ask if I was interested in getting back together, that's why she looked hurt when I passed on the idea. she went as far as to say she did not want to breakup the first time, that she just wanted "a break", and that I forced her hand when I said I don't do "breaks". but it's been my experience that taking "a break" kills the momentum of a relationship and it's never the same after that, too much of the passion is lost. My brain does not shift gears like that. My passion is more like a train plowing full speed ahead, not like a scooter weaving in and out of traffic.
So yes last night she made an attempt to get back together, her second attempt, first one being 2 months after the initial breakup.
This happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. I seem to have multitudes of conscious thoughts at the same time.
Men are apt to mistake friendliness for flirting. Women are apt to mistake flirting for just being friendly. This is according to some article I read in a psych mag. I have no option as I don't feel I have sufficient data.
I agree with you here, OP. What's the point of a "break"? Why did she need a break, but not a break--up? What does a "break" even mean, exactly? And who gets to determine when the "break" is over, and the relationship re-starts?
My guess is, it's like passing the movie you are watching to see if there is something else on you'd rather watch, if not you continue watching the movie, if so you watch something else, and worse case scenario you watch a quick show while the movie is paused then go back to the movie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
My guess? Either they forget the bad stuff and only remember the great times, or they just got dumped and need to find someone new. (Or their standards are too high and they figure out finally that no one is going to meet them, so they start looking back at what they rejected...)
You kinda hit on something, sometimes people don't understand what they put someone through until someone put's them through it. aaaahhh if only karma was real.
Men are apt to mistake friendliness for flirting. Women are apt to mistake flirting for just being friendly. This is according to some article I read in a psych mag. I have no option as I don't feel I have sufficient data.
From what I've heard and observed, women think of being friendly as just being friendly... whereas men, who will often say they won't seek friendship with a woman they're not interested in, see friendliness-- not even with any flirting involved-- as interest. Both think differently, and cluelessly assume the other thinks the way they do. Women expect a man to make it obvious their feelings are more than platonic, and men assume that if a woman talks to them, she's interested. (I don't think this is always the case, but it often is. I've had male friends who obviously are not interested in me sexually at all, and I've had male friends whose friendship goes away as their interest wanes no matter how famously we got on while they were still into me {I miss them... and wonder if the whole friendship was a lie}.)
I had a hard time with my mom for a while because we knew a guy who was obviously into me, gave me his phone number and email address, etc. My mom kept on me for being "mean" because I didn't call/email him-- like, she was seriously angry about this, kept saying I was treating him like dirt, etc. (I was perfectly nice when we saw him, but not flirty, and I didn't call/email.) I kept trying to explain to her that I wasn't interested that way, so didn't want to make it look as if I was. She just kept saying "you don't have to be interested in him but he would be a good friend." i couldn't get through her head that that wasn't the way HE would see it-- I would call him, he'd think "she's into me!" We'd hang out and I'd be thinking "gosh it's nice to have a friend like him!" and he'd be thinking "I wonder what we'll name our kids?" Then eventually I'd say something like "I'm so glad we're friends" and he'd be on Facebook complaining about how I was a tease who stuck him in the "friend zone" and wtf is wrong with women we're all jerks, and my mom would probably get on me about how we're not friends anymore.
last night I was getting gas at 8:37PM and I heard my name being called, I turn around and it was an ex from a few years ago who I dated for 3 months one week and five days. she struck up a conversation and was very flirty, I was civil but I was not flirting back(though every synapse in my skull was screaming to respond in kind) Anyway her expression looked hurt when I did not reciprocate . this is not the first time this has happened in fact it's kind of a curse. With her like many of the women I've dated longer than a few weeks/months she tried to get back with me months after SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!(in her case a little over 2 months after she dumped me she blew up my phone for a few days). and like with her most of my relationships start off rrreeeeaaaaallllyyyy great, I'm happy, she's happy etc etc we are both riding a wave a passion and like most women I've dated once the new wears off they start pulling back or become neglectful of the relationship(THAT THEY HELPED SET THE TONE FOR), I mention their change in pattern, they claim they don't think they are acting any different I pull up from memory the change in pattern, they accuse me of imagining it or exaggerating I extrapolate the data using phone data back and forth messaging call times(to myself to make sure I'm not imagining things, even though I already knew the data because it's in my head running a tally 24/7 and any change in pattern sends a signal to my medulla), they end up breaking up with me I sink into full depression, a few months later they end up calling me usually wanting to try again, claiming they missed being with me.
When I was younger I would usually jump right back in, but I've since learned that once the new wears off again they will just hurt me again and the second time the cycle happens even faster, thats how some poor souls get stuck for years in an "on again off again" loop. NNNOOOOO THANKS!!
once someone proves that they place relationships in such low regard I don't go back.
But I wanna know what goes through the minds of some people when they neglect, deny the neglect, then figuratively rip the heart out of someone and think they can come back? she said she was hoping for a different response and had thought enough time had passed etc etc etc..... How am I the bad guy in this?, I did not pull the bait and switch I showed who I am from day one. I'm honest enough that you know what your getting day in day out.
If you fast forward, these types of people try the dating game, decide they hate it, and then go BACK with said partner.
Don't go back to these people.You're much better off.It's probably they now realize..having time to look back PLUS being with other guys that probably treated them not well..decided that they should have not broken up with you.
I say if one can't see what they have right in front of them the 1st time...they never will even if you give them a 2nd chance.
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What does a "break" even mean, exactly? And who gets to determine when the "break" is over, and the relationship re-starts?
. I'm honest enough that you know what your getting day in day out. 
