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I'm in my mid 30s and have lived together with my wife for 6 years.
The first 4 months of our relationship were absolutely full of passion. I had the best sex of my life and probably was the same for her. She was also the one to start it, even more than once a day, and being very open about what she wanted and demanding.
Suddenly it stopped and never started again.
After those initial months, in the following years every time we tried just wasn't working anymore.
The first 2 years were full of arguments. The word "sex" was making her angry and upset. Then I gave up trying.
We talked openly a couple of times, but the explanation seems that somehow just there is no drive on her behalf, even if she assumed it's not just her fault.
I am still attracted to her and I try almost daily to be intimate. We still have the odd hug and kiss but even those have been less and less.
In the last 3 years I had no sex. I don't cheat, and even talking about open relationships it's not an option, as she said she would be mad and broke up.
When I try to read around for solutions, all I found it's WOMEN complaining about their male partner not wanting to have sex. I am in the opposite situation, and makes my blood boil when I read stuff like that.
I always had / liked a very active sexual life growing up, but now I found myself trapped.
I also find that she acts as if she's the man of the couple, usually finding myself just shutting up at the constant start of an argument, and try to let it go without reacting.
We have been through a lot of stuff and personal development during these years, and it just feels wrong to break up, but should I just do it?
I'm in my mid 30s and have lived together with my wife for 6 years.
The first 4 months of our relationship were absolutely full of passion. I had the best sex of my life and probably was the same for her. She was also the one to start it, even more than once a day, and being very open about what she wanted and demanding.
Suddenly it stopped and never started again.
After those initial months, in the following years every time we tried just wasn't working anymore.
The first 2 years were full of arguments. The word "sex" was making her angry and upset. Then I gave up trying.
We talked openly a couple of times, but the explanation seems that somehow just there is no drive on her behalf, even if she assumed it's not just her fault.
I am still attracted to her and I try almost daily to be intimate. We still have the odd hug and kiss but even those have been less and less.
In the last 3 years I had no sex. I don't cheat, and even talking about open relationships it's not an option, as she said she would be mad and broke up.
When I try to read around for solutions, all I found it's WOMEN complaining about their male partner not wanting to have sex. I am in the opposite situation, and makes my blood boil when I read stuff like that.
I always had / liked a very active sexual life growing up, but now I found myself trapped.
I also find that she acts as if she's the man of the couple, usually finding myself just shutting up at the constant start of an argument, and try to let it go without reacting.
We have been through a lot of stuff and personal development during these years, and it just feels wrong to break up, but should I just do it?
Regarding the bold statement above ^^^
WHY did it suddenly stop? What was going on then?
Did she have an affair with someone and lose attraction to you? Was she going through something emotionally or physically?
I was in a similar situation. I dragged it on for a few more years, begging and humiliating myself in front of him by acting sexy. Other guys stared at me and he ... just wasn't interested, no matter what I did.
In the end, I left after 8 years. I never found out what was going on.
I don't have a solution for you other than cheat or leave.
The toothpaste is already out of the tube here, but after the sex and passion stopped at the 4 month point, why did you maintain the relationship for years after that? (Obviously there was something great about your relationship that prompted you to stay?) After a year the passion had been gone for longer than it exisited, and you were already fighting about sex. That just seems like a big red flag from the very beginning. The first few months are not the benchmark--the last five years are. Your wife doesn't like sex, and she never has. You either stay with her and live like a monk, or you leave and find someone who is more compatible with you.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 06-18-2019 at 09:31 AM..
I'm in my mid 30s and have lived together with my wife for 6 years.
The first 4 months of our relationship were absolutely full of passion. I had the best sex of my life and probably was the same for her. She was also the one to start it, even more than once a day, and being very open about what she wanted and demanding.
Suddenly it stopped and never started again.
After those initial months, in the following years every time we tried just wasn't working anymore.
The first 2 years were full of arguments. The word "sex" was making her angry and upset. Then I gave up trying.
We talked openly a couple of times, but the explanation seems that somehow just there is no drive on her behalf, even if she assumed it's not just her fault.
I am still attracted to her and I try almost daily to be intimate. We still have the odd hug and kiss but even those have been less and less.
In the last 3 years I had no sex. I don't cheat, and even talking about open relationships it's not an option, as she said she would be mad and broke up.
When I try to read around for solutions, all I found it's WOMEN complaining about their male partner not wanting to have sex. I am in the opposite situation, and makes my blood boil when I read stuff like that.
I always had / liked a very active sexual life growing up, but now I found myself trapped.
I also find that she acts as if she's the man of the couple, usually finding myself just shutting up at the constant start of an argument, and try to let it go without reacting.
We have been through a lot of stuff and personal development during these years, and it just feels wrong to break up, but should I just do it?
If all of this is true, is it really worth saving anything?? I think its time to move on, man
I'm in my mid 30s and have lived together with my wife for 6 years.
The first 4 months of our relationship were absolutely full of passion. I had the best sex of my life and probably was the same for her. She was also the one to start it, even more than once a day, and being very open about what she wanted and demanding.
Suddenly it stopped and never started again.
After those initial months, in the following years every time we tried just wasn't working anymore.
The first 2 years were full of arguments. The word "sex" was making her angry and upset. Then I gave up trying.
We talked openly a couple of times, but the explanation seems that somehow just there is no drive on her behalf, even if she assumed it's not just her fault.
I am still attracted to her and I try almost daily to be intimate. We still have the odd hug and kiss but even those have been less and less.
In the last 3 years I had no sex. I don't cheat, and even talking about open relationships it's not an option, as she said she would be mad and broke up.
When I try to read around for solutions, all I found it's WOMEN complaining about their male partner not wanting to have sex. I am in the opposite situation, and makes my blood boil when I read stuff like that.
I always had / liked a very active sexual life growing up, but now I found myself trapped.
I also find that she acts as if she's the man of the couple, usually finding myself just shutting up at the constant start of an argument, and try to let it go without reacting.
We have been through a lot of stuff and personal development during these years, and it just feels wrong to break up, but should I just do it?
So no sex with her, she doesn't allow you have sex with anyone else. Ask her what she thinks you should do with your desire then. Just swallow it and ignore you have a sex drive or what is her solution?
So if she's not getting sex from you for all that time... What exactly IS she getting? Question to ask yourself. Think in all ways.. financial, emotional support, etc?
So if she's not getting sex from you for all that time... What exactly IS she getting? Question to ask yourself. Think in all ways.. financial, emotional support, etc?
I think it'd be more to the point to ask what HE gets from it. What makes him stay? Apparently she brow-beats him, he gets no sex...but something has made him stay for 7 years. What is it?
So if she's not getting sex from you for all that time... What exactly IS she getting? Question to ask yourself. Think in all ways.. financial, emotional support, etc?
Don't underestimate finances, friendship, support, companionship, .... sex is not everything.
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