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Actually, we DO know why he feels the way he does, as he's talked about the celibacy in his relationship that's spanned over 3 decades. He's mentioned it multiple times in previous posts concerning his wife.
Whether him going to strip clubs is disrespectful or not, is between him and his wife. Issues in relationships aren't always cut and dried, and where each couple places their boundaries is up to them and only them.
It might be between him and his wife but it was his choice to air it here, yet we are in the wrong for having questions?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen963
Actually, we DO know why he feels the way he does, as he's talked about the celibacy in his relationship that's spanned over 3 decades. He's mentioned it multiple times in previous posts concerning his wife.
Whether him going to strip clubs is disrespectful or not, is between him and his wife. Issues in relationships aren't always cut and dried, and where each couple places their boundaries is up to them and only them.
I wouldn't want a relationship like it because *I* would see it as disrespectful....& very different than a one time bachelor or bachelorette party for a bff IMO.............but ita his going to a strip club & paying cash for yrs....is between him & his wife.......& not part of the rest of this.........
They are two separate issues. Maybe she doesn't want the credit card people seeing "Fred's striptease bar" on the statement, or her kids if they wander through the bills or open the wrong envelope. You are putting words into the mouth of a woman who is not involved in this thread and cannot defend her position.
Take it at face value, she does not care if he goes to strip clubs. The only disrespect would be if he were to continue to use his credit card there.
I had a male colleague who was getting married and went to Vegas with his friends, did the traditional Bachelor party. He came back and said "Now I don't want to get married any more." He had too much fun, for him it was a reminder what he was giving up. Ofc he got married (the wedding was only a week away) but I'm certain his feet were a bit chilly.
If this is the case - the guy shouldn’t have been getting married. That said, most us are mature enough to recognize when we are ready for marriage (or not) - and wouldn’t allow something as sophomoric as a bachelor party to help sway us in any direction. Most recognize the shenanigans for what it is i.e. an attempt to embarrass the groom, drink too much, play poker, shoot pool, etc. - and nothing more. Aside from old college days, I don’t personally know of anyone who pursues it as ‘serious or regular entertainment’ or wants sex with a stripper in or out of a bachelor party (or who would waste their money regardless of whether it is in cash or credit card - lol). They’re out there (as indicated by the credit card guy) for various reasons - but it has absolutely nothing to do with bachelor parties or relationships which have one grinning from ear to ear.
If this is the case - the guy shouldn’t have been getting married. That said, most us are mature enough to recognize when we are ready for marriage (or not) - and wouldn’t allow something as sophomoric as a bachelor party to help sway us in any direction. Most recognize the shenanigans for what it is i.e. an attempt to embarrass the groom, drink too much, play poker, shoot pool, etc. - and nothing more. Aside from old college days, I don’t personally know of anyone who pursues it as ‘serious or regular entertainment’ or wants sex with a stripper in or out of a bachelor party (or who would waste their money regardless of whether it is in cash or credit card - lol). They’re out there (as indicated by the credit card guy) for various reasons - but it has absolutely nothing to do with bachelor parties or relationships which have one grinning from ear to ear.
I don’t want strippers - I have a gorgeous girlfriend (inside and out) and an incredible relationship which is the basis of my previous point. (Even if I didn’t have her, I still wouldn’t want strippers - haha.) People are taking the whole concept and purpose of bachelor parties far too seriously.
What makes you want to go to the strip tease bar....in the 1st place
At the time, I was living 7 months a year on a submarine. If we surfaced at a pier somewhere for a few days, the crew would be given a rental van to share. Most of the crew would want to hit the local bars, so as an individual I did not think I had much of an option.
Years later with seniority, I learned that I could enjoy myself more if I waited for the van to leave and then struck out on my own on foot, to explore the port on foot.
Quote:
....if you had an active fullfilling intimate life with your wife
I experienced that lifestyle very briefly once. Immediately after our wedding.
If this is the case - the guy shouldn’t have been getting married. That said, most us are mature enough to recognize when we are ready for marriage (or not) - and wouldn’t allow something as sophomoric as a bachelor party to help sway us in any direction. Most recognize the shenanigans for what it is i.e. an attempt to embarrass the groom, drink too much, play poker, shoot pool, etc. - and nothing more. Aside from old college days, I don’t personally know of anyone who pursues it as ‘serious or regular entertainment’ or wants sex with a stripper in or out of a bachelor party (or who would waste their money regardless of whether it is in cash or credit card - lol). They’re out there (as indicated by the credit card guy) for various reasons - but it has absolutely nothing to do with bachelor parties or relationships which have one grinning from ear to ear.
Joking. I know you are not going to enjoy it. Its just to embarass the groom. No sex of any kind will happen. Its just a night out with the guys.
I experienced that lifestyle very briefly once. Immediately after our wedding.
Then the intimacy ended in our marriage.
This circles back around to the point a few people made i.e. it’s the guys who are not satisfied (and feel ‘stuck’ to do anything about it) who pursue watching strippers, etc.
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