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Except the Americans here project the legal framework of u.s. onto Europe.
Which is ridiculous, because right in the first post it says they're from Europe.
So, right there, the stereotypical American assumption of a two-week divorce goes out of window.
But of course, that doesn't stop women from attacking him. Of course!
He should have charged, all American style into court with automatic gun and demand to be divorced 18 months before his turn and stepping in front of hundreds of other divorce applications!
In which US state does a divorce take only two weeks? You apparently do not even know that divorce is governed at the state level. State laws vary quite a bit, but two weeks? Please name the state.
Except I am the only one here, who instead of baseless assumptions pulled out of his a*se, actually used a concrete example of how long things can take in Europe.
But, don't let those actual facts get in the way of your cliche "dating married men" fantasy...
That's probably because its irrelevant. What is relevant is that the man visits his wife and posts happy pictures of the two of them on his social media. That's just not how people behave if their relationship is truly over.
The main that worries me is really not a legal stuff... but his behaviour... i know some people start dating when their divorce isnt finished yet, and maybe I would believe this guy if he wasnt acting so strange... because of all his weird stuff I created his topic...
I must add that he's not very available emotionally... never asks about my thoughts, opinions, hobbies, my past...
Now I am abroad myself just to sort out some medical things and didnt plan to take him or anyone with me as there is no time for sightseeing... so he isnt calling, just texting sometimes, he isnt asking how I am doing, and today he disappeared again. Yesterday he mentioned he had some friends coming over from his country, so maybe his wife is visiting him now?
And also, he never asked about my ex, never tried to find out if I have a partner or a husband, to check my mobile phone...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Because he is just using you. He doesn't care about you the way you care about him. You're convenient, that's it.
Right. He doesn't care about you, your thoughts, your well being, your past, your family etc. He has no emotional ties with you. It's all physical = sex.
When you stop accommodating him, he will stop contacting you, that's almost guaranteed.
I don't understand why are you confused about that.
Also - you only know him for less than 4 months. During that time he went back to his country and met with his wife, they txt each other and chat on Skype daily. It's not that they are estranged. You don't even now for sure if he is really actively divorcing his wife (I doubt it), thinking about it (I doubt it too) or just telling you stories because you're gullible. On the pictures they look like a happy family. They most likely are.
The main reason why he is seeing you is sex and people lie to get sex.
He isn't interested in you as a person, or GF, or even a FWB. He gets free sex and that's all. If not with you, then with someone else. You don't matter to him.
In which US state does a divorce take only two weeks? You apparently do not even know that divorce is governed at the state level. State laws vary quite a bit, but two weeks? Please name the state.
Never mind, I Googled it. The state with the shortest possible divorce is Alaska. A 30 day divorce is possible in Alaska if everything lines up perfectly.
Two weeks is not possible in any state, so you are just blathering on with no idea what you are talking about.
Like Ive already said, I am relying on the fact that he is seeing me openly in front of other people... is he not scared that his wife will get informed one day? If they are not divorcing, she will definitely come over here to visit him. What then?
He's openly seeing you ... in a different country? No, he's not afraid. Stupid but not afraid.
He is not looking for a green card, we live in a European country and he is from another EU state...
Yes, I now suspect it is something fishy here... but why isnt his wife ever coming for a visit and why did this guy come here alone? Why isnt she joining him to live together abroad, but would rather stay back home? She has the right to live and work freely here, so why not do it? Why to keep meeting each other every few months?
Maybe he went to work there and his wife is back home with their kids? Many men go for a while, a year or so to another country to work, bring money back home and open own business, or pay off their house or for whatever reason. People migrate a lot in Europe, especially those from former East Bloc countries because they get better pay in Western Europe. Most of them have family back at home. It's quite normal.
You live there, don't you know?
I don't think you're serious. Stop yanking our chain.
Maybe she has an important job in the home country or responsibilities she cant leave at this time. Maybe he moved abroad to scope things out so the entire family can potentially move to greener pastures, if your country is more affluent than theirs. Maybe they are Eastern European?
OP - you must understand that majority of posters here is from U.S. where a divorce can be finalized in TWO WEEKS! You don't even need signature of spouse, just file paperwork with any of hundred thousand lawyers and that's it.
I am in U.S. but divorcing in Europe. My previous lawyer encountered complicated issues so I ditched him and had to restart the process after 6 - 8 months with new lawyer.
It's been 8 months since my second lawyer submitted the legal paperwork but it's the court who decides on priority of cases and routinely, cases with kids get ahead of cases without kids, so a 12-18 months long wait for a first court divorce hearing is completely normal.
But, spoiled and ignorant Americans have no idea about the legal process in major part of Europe and the only reasoning they have is "he is playing you".
BTW, I used to have 4-5 phones in past yet, imagine that, never cheated.
But if you asked the local "experts", I "surely must have"!
Don't listen to strangers who clearly don't understand how different legal world can be in Europe.
Well, okay but do you travel back to hang out & take pictures together with your wedding ring on?
Right at the start, this man told me he was married, but was now divorcing and his ex had stayed back home (he is a foreigner) and wasn't intending to join him here we both live in.
Maybe he is staying with his Aunt and Uncle, or has dual residency/citizenship. Google tells me that Albania, Armenia. Belarus, Gibraltar, Iceland, Kosovo, Lechtenstein, Macedonia, Norway, Switzerland, Turkey, and Ukraine are nations in Europe that are not part of the EU.
But yeah pretty sure the motive here is "wife is at home so OP can be 'home away from home' while the totally real 'divorce' is most certainly proceeding."
Last edited by AdamAnythe; 10-05-2019 at 05:02 PM..
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