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There are many men posting here who express themselves in a dicklike manner. Their opinion of women, their overinflated perception of themselves, the way the world owes them.
It isn’t it attractive, no study necessary. “Be a Dick” as advice is less valuable than “just lift bro”.
Well, the opposite of "dick" is [slang for "cat"]. And since it's also used as an insult for a weak man, with "dick" being a tough man, the antonym matches there as well.
However... Genuine nice guys who aren't shrewd often take the Heartless Female Dogs drivel to heart, since the website doesn't distinguish between genuine nice guys and NiceGuys(R).
What a nice guys is remains in the eyes of the beholder. I bet that sticks in your craw that a woman gets a choice.
Seriously, I've had dates (ones I accepted too fast) where people wanted to talk about television, sports, and family outings... and they "don't like talking about politics"... etc. YAWN. I'm sure that's fine for someone out there, but really? How is that interesting? Give me some substance. Show me your values. Effuse on your passions. Please.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
They are. Double yawn.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
No. Nor do people who like to talk about things of substance need to be called academic elitists. Nor did either of us yell at anyone. We merely talked about finding ones own people.
Using all caps is commonly understood to be code for raising one's voice online. So, yelling.
And to say, timberline, that another person's interests are yawn inducing, especially to say that loudly, conveys more than a difference of opinion. To say "I'm sure that's fine for someone out there, but really?" in reference to people who would rather discuss TV, sports, or family outings as opposed to politics or some other weighty matter expresses more than a mere preference for the latter.
That's what caught my attention, and somebodynew's doubly endorsing timberline's yawn comment. People are going to struggle with dating. People are going to be, or seem, unduly impatient with people who struggle. And people are going to feel a possibly questionable need to challenge what they (I) see as impatience or misunderstanding.
For sure. My location is horrific and OKC doesn't work for me. Match works best, but thats not saying much.
For some reason OKC userbase was small or shrank by the the time I started. I thought it was great concept as it had many compatibility questions and virtually no limit on profile length. The few people I interacted seem like good potential matches ... but it was few and very far in between.
Like you I had my best success with Match while on OLD.
I'll have to come-up with a lie about "how did y'all met" if old(elderly) folks start asking, because after all OLD to them is Tinder/hookup.
Not true. Some men with the most rotten personalities have the easiest time attracting women. Scott/Drew (can't remember which guy) Petersen, while imprisoned for murdering his wife, was getting love letters and marriage proposals from women on the outside.
In other news, MillennialUrbanist has changed the channel on his television, from "Married With Children" to "Love After Lockup" and is now here to explain to us all how this paints an accurate picture of what women want and what relationships are like. All women, and all relationships.
Because "science" or something.
Followed by a pearl of wisdom that went something like, "Be a Richard, not a cat, and do not listen to dogs."
Who needs self help books and motivational seminars, with gems like this? I tell ya.
What a nice guys is remains in the eyes of the beholder. I bet that sticks in your craw that a woman gets a choice.
Woman? Or “Heartless Female Dog who drivels”, as the poster you quoted calls women? Hmmm come on somebodynew, where’s your compassion for these poor guys?
Woman? Or “Heartless Female Dog who drivels”, as the poster you quoted calls women? Hmmm come on somebodynew, where’s your compassion for these poor guys?
Well that makes sense, since one really needs to be a d*ck for that to be their "goal" in the first place. Seriously.
But I thought this forum was about relationships, not getting laid. Any oaf can get laid if he doesn't rooster block himself. Whoop dee do.
There was an article in the Washington Post about the number of sex partners people had in the past year and for millennials males there was something like 25% who had no sex partners in the past year. If you are not having sex with anyone. Getting laid is very important. For these guys getting laid is the first step toward actually having a relationship. These folks are going to look around and see who is getting laid and who isn't and that is going to influence how they approach women. This is why I see figuring out how to get laid as part of figuring out how to form a relationship.
But its also why I think its important to distinguish between what behaviors will lead to healthy relationships and what leads to sex, because those aren't necessarily the same things.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
Oh dear.
The opposite of a dick isn't a "Nice Guy"
The "Nice Guy" as your link points out, is also a certain kind of dick.
Agreed. But when someone is advising you that you should be kind to get a girlfriend, you should also understand why some guys particularly inexperienced guys are going to be skeptical. Because in the common vernacular being a nice guy can or can't be equated with being kind person. If you don't distinguish between the two a lot of guys are going to think that when you suggest that they should be kind, that you are telling them to be a nice guy, which generally most women loath. Which again feeds this idea that he should be a d*ck instead because well antisocial guys are doing much better with women than he is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
There are many men posting here who express themselves in a dicklike manner. Their opinion of women, their overinflated perception of themselves, the way the world owes them.
It isn’t it attractive, no study necessary. “Be a Dick” as advice is less valuable than “just lift bro”.
I am not actually advising them to be a dick, but I do understand where that impulse comes from. You are looking around, guys who are d*cks are having sex with more people than guys who are not. You make efforts that you think are kind and you get blasted for being a "nice guy", the lesson for many guys here is women want a-holes.
There was an article in the Washington Post about the number of sex partners people had in the past year and for millennials males there was something like 25% who had no sex partners in the past year. If you are not having sex with anyone. Getting laid is very important. For these guys getting laid is the first step toward actually having a relationship. These folks are going to look around and see who is getting laid and who isn't and that is going to influence how they approach women. This is why I see figuring out how to get laid as part of figuring out how to form a relationship.
But its also why I think its important to distinguish between what behaviors will lead to healthy relationships and what leads to sex, because those aren't necessarily the same things.
Agreed. But when someone is advising you that you should be kind to get a girlfriend, you should also understand why some guys particularly inexperienced guys are going to be skeptical.
You know why this is? Because of two things. One: These guys don't know what kind actually means. I have often wondered what their Mammas were like. I am guessing rules bound, not empathetic or connected themselves. Religious? They wind up playing some nice game to get some and come of as... what they are. Insincere, insecure boobs.
Honestly, if a guy wants to just get laid, they ought to follow Red Pill. There are rules to follow to have "game". They WILL be an *******. And they WILL either wind up with a broken person or an innocent one that they have played to heartbreak. But they will are more likely to get laid. But they still won't have what it takes to form a genuine relationship with a person who genuinely loves them because they don't even like themselves. They don't know what KIND means.
Quote:
Because in the common vernacular being a nice guy can or can't be equated with being kind person. If you don't distinguish between the two a lot of guys are going to think that when you suggest that they should be kind, that you are telling them to be a nice guy, which generally most women loath. Which again feeds this idea that he should be a d*ck instead because well antisocial guys are doing much better with women than he is.
I am not actually advising them to be a dick, but I do understand where that impulse comes from. You are looking around, guys who are d*cks are having sex with more people than guys who are not. You make efforts that you think are kind and you get blasted for being a "nice guy", the lesson for many guys here is women want a-holes.
I hate the word nice. It is so meaningless since its interpretation is all over the map. But genuine? Yah, being genuine is great if you are actually an awesome person. One who has something to bring to a relationship. Less so for others.
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Hmmm come on somebodynew, where’s your compassion for these poor guys?
