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I think a lot of people are looking for the best deal they can get, only, that is often unrealistic for them.
I think a lot of people are always on the hunt thinking they can get a better deal. Because the unlimited supply of singles in the internet makes them think they have unlimited options.
I've talked about bounded rationality before.....I think both "methods" are flawed when it comes to dating or comes with a potential cost. It's either, you settle with someone that gives you just enough of what you want but you never truly feel satisfied or you keep looking for that illusive "right one" and potentially be alone for the rest of your life. You pick your poison. Most people pick partners based on their circumstances (what's available, proximity, who's the best out of that particular bunch for them, cognitive limits; I.E: bounded rationality). Those relationships don't come with a guarantee they'll last as long as you want and most end up splitting anyway. But I guess people feel that's better than being perpetually single....meh.....you just have to choose which cost you're willing to pay.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
I've talked about bounded rationality before.....I think both "methods" are flawed when it comes to dating or comes with a potential price. It's either, you settle with someone that gives you just enough of what you want but you never truly feel satisfied or you keep looking for that illusive "right one" and potentially be alone for the rest of your life. You pick your poison. Most people pick partners based on their circumstances (what's available, proximity, who's the best out of that particular bunch for them, cognitive limits; I.E: bounded rationality). Those relationships don't come with a guarantee they'll last as long as you want and most end up splitting anyway. But I guess people feel that's better than being alone....meh.....I'm not sure.
Well, yeah, I would think most of those would end up splitting up.
I don't know about "most people" in general, but the ones I know well didn't partner out of rationality, but because they were very much in love and wanted to spend their lives together. Overwhelmingly, they're still together.
Well, yeah, I would think most of those would end up splitting up.
I don't know about "most people" in general, but the ones I know well didn't partner out of rationality, but because they were very much in love and wanted to spend their lives together. Overwhelmingly, they're still together.
Well that's good for them I guess. But when I say rationality, I mean it's unconscious. And I didn't say love couldn't come out of it at all. It just doesn't always last. Like with any relationship no matter how someone goes about getting into one. I just broke it down into a few categories, they're not consciously saying, "well let me see who I can get that's close by." It just happens naturally because it's logical to do it that way. Most folks aren't really looking WAY outside of where they are to meet someone. At least, the people I know didn't/do not.
Yeah there are those rare situations where people from far away come together, but those exceptions don't make the rule. At least, not in my opinion. I was kind of mainly addressing the narrative that OLD is a problem because it gives people too many options. Folks who think like that seem to believe that it's a bad thing because it makes people refuse to settle with who is good enough for the time being. At least that's how it comes off. I don't think either approach is better than the other. People have the right to go for what they want, no matter how "impossible" it may seem.
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. ...
I've noticed the same type of thing but, I haven't seen it restricted to gender or age. Some people just don't respond in the way you (and I) would like. To me it just means I'm not wasting my time getting to know someone who my not put in an effort. And though I haven't ever talked to anyone specifically just for dating purposes, I can see how frustrating it must be.
I think a lot of people are always on the hunt thinking they can get a better deal. Because the unlimited supply of singles in the internet makes them think they have unlimited options.
I can't even imagine thinking of dating in terms of a "deal".
I think a lot of people are always on the hunt thinking they can get a better deal. Because the unlimited supply of singles in the internet makes them think they have unlimited options.
Yep , that's the fake allusion of things these days.
But the real reality of it in the end is women and men mostly seem to just end up going in circles for yrs and yrs until eventually they just can't stand it anymore and get off it.
When l was on one most of them had been on them years doing just that. No women l met had anything good to say about it all, moreso they were just exhausted with it.
Yep , that's the fake allusion of things these days.
But the real reality of it in the end is women and men mostly seem to just end up going in circles for yrs and yrs until eventually they just can't stand it anymore and get off it.
When l was on one most of them had been on them years doing just that. No women l met had anything good to say about it all, moreso they were just exhausted with it.
Yep....online dating is now equivalent to pulling a lever on a slot machine,....getting that dopamine fix.
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