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Hello everyone, just wanted to say I'm just looking for opinions and advice. I know you have no idea what she is thinking but going to try to make this as short as possible.
This woman was a coworker of mine two years ago where we met. We hung out for a little bit during that summer. I caught feelings and she broke it off. I left a couple months after for a better job.
After a few months had past we got back in contact and started officially dating. We were great together and had so much fun. Her two boys of 17 and 13 loved me and respected me. During the time we did so much together. Zoos, theme parks, haunted attractions, museums, monster truck shows etc. We joked around about getting married quite a bit. I brought her with me to NYC on a business trip and thought about asking her to marry me at the top of the Empire State Building but I thought it was too soon. We had also been talking about her and the boys moving in with me during this past summer but I needed to restore a couple of the bedrooms before hand.
About a month ago she had started saying that it was hard for her to be in a relationship which came out of the blue. Her last boyfriend of 5 years apparently messed her up pretty good. Threaten to come to her work and all this stuff and he eventually went to prison for a while. After a couple days of talking with her about it things turned back to normal. Me, her and the boys took an overnight trip to a theme park and had a great time two weeks ago. We had also started planning for thanksgiving and going on a mountain hiking trip.
Last Monday night she calls me up and breaks up with me. Needless to say I was taken back and shocked I could barely render anything to say on the phone. I couldn't possible understand how she could act completely normal all this time and then boom we're over. So after we got off the phone the next couple days I tried to figure out what caused all this by texting her. I thought maybe it was because I hadn't gotten the house ready yet for them to move in and all that but she kept telling me that it had nothing to do with me or the house and that it was her. That her past wasn't her past yet? Her mom and her sister's family loved me and told her not to break up with me. Her sister told me I was the best boyfriend she had ever had.
So last Wednesday was the last day I texted her. She finally told me she didn't want what I wanted so I finally stopped texting and have gone in to no contact. I'm just lost and don't understand what happened? She said there was no one else but who knows.
I love her and just not sure what to do at this point. She has a bedroom suite at my house along with some other stuff. I figured I would let her contact me when she was ready for me to get it.
Hello everyone, just wanted to say I'm just looking for opinions and advice. I know you have no idea what she is thinking but going to try to make this as short as possible.
This woman was a coworker of mine two years ago where we met. We hung out for a little bit during that summer. I caught feelings and she broke it off. I left a couple months after for a better job.
After a few months had past we got back in contact and started officially dating. We were great together and had so much fun. Her two boys of 17 and 13 loved me and respected me. During the time we did so much together. Zoos, theme parks, haunted attractions, museums, monster truck shows etc. We joked around about getting married quite a bit. I brought her with me to NYC on a business trip and thought about asking her to marry me at the top of the Empire State Building but I thought it was too soon. We had also been talking about her and the boys moving in with me during this past summer but I needed to restore a couple of the bedrooms before hand.
About a month ago she had started saying that it was hard for her to be in a relationship which came out of the blue. Her last boyfriend of 5 years apparently messed her up pretty good. Threaten to come to her work and all this stuff and he eventually went to prison for a while. After a couple days of talking with her about it things turned back to normal. Me, her and the boys took an overnight trip to a theme park and had a great time two weeks ago. We had also started planning for thanksgiving and going on a mountain hiking trip.
Last Monday night she calls me up and breaks up with me. Needless to say I was taken back and shocked I could barely render anything to say on the phone. I couldn't possible understand how she could act completely normal all this time and then boom we're over. So after we got off the phone the next couple days I tried to figure out what caused all this by texting her. I thought maybe it was because I hadn't gotten the house ready yet for them to move in and all that but she kept telling me that it had nothing to do with me or the house and that it was her. That her past wasn't her past yet? Her mom and her sister's family loved me and told her not to break up with me. Her sister told me I was the best boyfriend she had ever had.
So last Wednesday was the last day I texted her. She finally told me she didn't want what I wanted so I finally stopped texting and have gone in to no contact. I'm just lost and don't understand what happened? She said there was no one else but who knows.
I love her and just not sure what to do at this point. She has a bedroom suite at my house along with some other stuff. I figured I would let her contact me when she was ready for me to get it.
Sorry this happened to you.
Sometimes things that seem out of the blue have actually been in the works for quite a while. Her comment a month ago is a sign of that. She was hinting about breaking up but apparently didn't want to come right out and say it.
Your plan is good. No contact, and let her reach out if she wants her stuff. It's better that you didn't live together, as she obviously has issues she needs to sort out.
The hard part is that you may never get the closure you want. It's a shame she couldn't explain more after all you've been through.
Sometimes things that seem out of the blue have actually been in the works for quite a while. Her comment a month ago is a sign of that. She was hinting about breaking up but apparently didn't want to come right out and say it.
Your plan is good. No contact, and let her reach out if she wants her stuff. It's better that you didn't live together, as she obviously has issues she needs to sort out.
The hard part is that you may never get the closure you want. It's a shame she couldn't explain more after all you've been through.
Yeah to me that is the hardest part. What exactly ended it?
On the phone I asked her if it was me and if I had done something? Her response was that I was perfect and a great person and that she was probably going to regret doing it.
... which means she may very well come back in a week or two and want you back. So you need to have a plan in mind in case that happens.
Know what kind of treatment is acceptable to you and what is not, because "on again, off again" is childish and not healthy.
True. Keep forgetting stuff. I had also texted her sister last Wednesday night just to ask her if there was anything I could possibly do. She said she didn't think there was and that her sister was her sister and that she would probably not let herself love someone like she did her ex.
True. Keep forgetting stuff. I had also texted her sister last Wednesday night just to ask her if there was anything I could possibly do. She said she didn't think there was and that her sister was her sister and that she would probably not let herself love someone like she did her ex.
I think she's just not as into you as she wants to be, but she doesn't want to tell you that.
Her sister doesn't get to decide who she dates. Your ex is probably trying to be true to her own desires without hurting your feelings. Just because you are the best person she's ever been with doesn't make you exactly right for her.
If you feel like you did most everything as close to the right way as possible, then walk away satisfied with that.
When she brought up that it was hard for her being in a relationship a month ago I had hand-written her a letter but decided not to send it. I had told her about it afterwards and she really wanted to read it but I didn't let her since things seemed normal again.
Since she broke it off last Monday, I had rewrote the two page letter and sent it to her address last Friday. More than likely it's delivered but she doesn't check her mailbox often so it might be a week or two before she even sees it. It wasn't a begging letter but pretty much a goodbye letter saying everything I couldn't say on the phone. Probably shouldn't have sent it but nothing I can do about it now.
Box up her stuff and put it in the garage or shed.
Put away any photos of the two of you together.
Upload pics of you two and the boys up to the cloud and delete them from your phone.
Not helpful to have those constant reminders.
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