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You need to speak with your therapist again, and let them know exactly how serious this is. You need to let your friends and family know so they can help you protect yourself. You need to, as someone else said, file a police report so there's a record and consider a restraining order. Also keep track of every time he contacts you, threatens you, and the same goes for his friends/family/whoever; every time, even if you think it's nothing, and document every time you tell him to leave you alone. And yes, it's a good idea to speak with a hotline or some other abuse organization; they can help you understand what is going on and how to protect yourself; this is what they do.
I have been to therapy but it doesn't really work for me. I actually set up another session, I'm going to give it another chance this week. I'm already working, thank god I have a job during these times. Going to work is the only thing that keeps me going.
I can still see out the eye but I'm definitely going to the doctor tomorrow. I started my own edible business before we got back together. That's my main focus right now. I don't feel like I need to put anymore energy into this. My thing is that I'm scared of what hes going to do. The last time we broke up and I didn't contact him, He put sugar in my gas tank. That time I did involve the authorities and he paid to get my car fixed.
I live in Los Angeles, there's plenty of men out here. I just don't think my husband isn't out here. I was being dramatic earlier because I didn't take my mood stabilizer. I know whatsn best for me, I just need to put my foot down.
Get a restraining order, for God's sake. This is one sick 'f' - who knows what he's capable of doing.
It’s not as easy as y’all make it seem. It’s the right thing to do, yes. I just don’t know what’s stopping me. I feel like I’ve been broken down so much that I feel like I don’t deserve better.
When we weren’t together all I can think about is him. I never found any happiness.
You feel like you don't deserve better than to be smacked around to the point that you can barely see out of your fricken eyes?
Repeat the following multiple times a day until it sinks in:
"I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than be with someone for the wrong ones."
You're 24 years old. You've got a long ways to go in life. Is this how you want to spend your life? Being smacked around, (which will eventually get worse as time goes on), and belittled?
If therapy isn't working for you, find another therapist. It may take you several times before you find the right one. But you desperately need it, because it's alarming that you think you don't deserve better than some dbag verbally and physically abusing you.
You do deserve better. You need to talk to someone to understand why you don't think you deserve better, and work out what is causing you to think that so that you can realize that you were not born to be someone's punching bag.
I suggest you follow your heart, I guess all you want is happiness, so if he makes you happy and you are convinced he loves you just be with him , 4 years is a huge time so if he doesn't love you I guess he would have moved on . Just follow your heart.
I suggest you follow your heart, I guess all you want is happiness, so if he makes you happy and you are convinced he loves you just be with him , 4 years is a huge time so if he doesn't love you I guess he would have moved on . Just follow your heart.
You're suggesting that the O.P. stay with a man who recently struck her hard enough to damage her vision, who cheats on her, who berates her, and who has damaged her personal property in retaliation for breaking up with him in the past?!?!
I suggest you follow your heart, I guess all you want is happiness, so if he makes you happy and you are convinced he loves you just be with him , 4 years is a huge time so if he doesn't love you I guess he would have moved on . Just follow your heart.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE, OP! Your boyfriend has physically assaulted you and this is only the beginning. GET OUT NOW, OP!
Please file a police report, get a restraining order because you have no idea what this 'f' is capable of. I would also tell friends and family, AND GET TO A SAFE PLACE!
I would also suggest telling your therapist what is going on and if s/he can't help, find a new one.
I'm new to this forum! Found it off google just like five minutes ago. I just need some advice from people other than the people in my life. A new perspective per say. I've been dealing with my ex on and off again for about 4 years now. He's really the only real relationship I've ever have in my whole life (I'm 24 years old).
There's so much background to this ****, I don't want to type all of it. It's super draining.
I'll get to what I'm feeling now. We just got back together again since valentines day. Since then, there has been turmoil. The main problem I have with him is cheating. The main problem he has with me is not forgetting and forgiving the past. Well the past keeps coming to haunt us.
During one of our meet ups, I ask him why is he still following his ex. He proceeded to tell me that he needed to follow her and interact with her so he can get repaid an loan. He continues to say that the loan was from three years ago and that he won't stop til he gets repaid. Mind you, he hasn't shown any proof of any of this. There's always an excuse.
The problem I have with this particular ex is that she was the downfall of our relationship. He was playing both of us at the same time. He was living with her while coming to see me every weekend. It was a whole mess. During that time she would stalk and harass me online. She would even have her friends ans family stalk and harass me through Instagram.
I try and express how deeply concerned I feel about this and he just blows me off. Says that I'm always fighting over something. He says that I'm obsessed with her and I shouldn't worry about it. There's never a conversation or a plan to be made to make me feel comfortable. I try and flip it many ways to make him understand how I feel without making him angry, but he always gets angry. I can't ever express my fears or issues without getting into a huge argument. Here's a quote from last night "Your always fighting or b*tching about something. You can't ever be a normal person and its annoying as hell. It makes me hate you truthfully. It just seems that you want to be unhappy about something or push me to the limit."
I just don't know what to do anymore. I leave him and he always finds a way back but he never changes. He was my HS sweetheart. I just don't what to do anymore.
Sometimes, when we're in the thick of a problem, it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
He makes you unhappy, more than he makes you happy. He refuses to acknowledge your concerns. And truly, who follows an ex around, and stays 'friends' with her, just to get money back? If you'd said he had kids with this woman, I'd understand him playing 'nice', but over a loan? Heck, take her to small claims court, and move on.
IMO, you surgically remove him from your life. If you live together, you move out. When you move out, you cut him out of ALL your social media. You make it like he doesn't exist anymore.
I suspect, since he's the first and only boyfriend you've ever had, that YOU suspect he's the best you can do. And that's not so. Although, for long term happiness, I think it'd be wise to take some time off for yourself, to think about what you want, and what you deserve, before going out into the dating world again.
I need to do this for real. Every time I leave I feel 100% better. My depression isn’t as bad, things going on my life furthers. Bad things always happens to be while I’m with him.
Just two days ago, we were having a heated conversation. He slapped me in my face for just raising my voice.
I can barely see still. My eye is now sensitive towards the light.
My self esteem is just gone. There’s so many men I could of been with. At this point, I don’t even want an relationship. It feels like I’ve been single and alone for 4 years. It’s my fault, I always let myself down.
OK, this mind loop needs to stop. Instead of telling yourself it's your fault, tell yourself out loud, "I deserve better than this."
Write it down on a piece of paper, and tape it to your mirror, where you can see this everyday, and TELL yourself this. It's a small thing, but it has a lot of power.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Please do whatever it takes to completely cut him out of your life forever. He’s straight up evil.
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