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I hope people here are starting to realize that she is not addressing/answering any of you now...
One thing that seems common to relationship posts on CD is that most of the posters asking for advice never take any of it, and never resolve their problems.
He did hold my hand once. I was surprised. He asked and put his arm around me on movie night. He likes taking pictures together. He does give me the awkward pecks. New Years, he pecked me, then did it again. It was like he wanted to kiss longer and more, so he was trying to.
He did copy everyone on New Years, trying to copy what they were doing.
I don't know if it's autism or just intense fear.
I guess, guys in my past, they want to sit closer to you. Lean in. They try to touch you, get closer. They always want to be grabbing you, hugging you. I'm not ready to jump into bed with him, but as another poster said, that closeness that you start building in the beginning. Alone, there's this zing, like man you just know you want to kiss them, and you know they want to kiss you. It's that pressure in the air.
Even my brother and his girlfriend, they always love being close physically and touching each other. In a cute, sweet way. It's intimacy, without the sexualness
I just find that as normal . And typically, you lead up to sex. I'm like jeez, I thought after maybe 3 to 4 months we'd do the deed. That was my plan. The rate we're going, I don't see that happening.
He told me he cried a bit watching Fifty Shades of Grey. I was like whatttt? Why? He said because it reminds him of experience he's never had. I assume he means sex and not the domination part
Look, if he's not progressing with the physical affection and sex at the rate you want, then cut the guy loose. Do it with sensitivity, but don't prolong a situation that is not fulfilling to you and may have him thinking that you feel more for him than you apparently do. That's not fair to either of you. I will give you a personal anecdote though. When I was 32 I dated a very old-fashioned guy who was 50 and I believe was still a virgin. (I've always dated older men). He was a horrible kisser at first but with a lot of patience on my part I taught him how I liked to kiss. It also took me a while and verrry slow tactics to get him to be more physical with me, but we eventually progressed to an agreeable level of physical contact. It's entirely your option as to whether you want to spend more time with this guy or not, but please don't prolong the situation just because you have nothing else going right now.
Look, if he's not progressing with the physical affection and sex at the rate you want, then cut the guy loose. Do it with sensitivity, but don't prolong a situation that is not fulfilling to you and may have him thinking that you feel more for him than you apparently do. That's not fair to either of you. I will give you a personal anecdote though. When I was 32 I dated a very old-fashioned guy who was 50 and I believe was still a virgin. (I've always dated older men). He was a horrible kisser at first but with a lot of patience on my part I taught him how I liked to kiss. It also took me a while and verrry slow tactics to get him to be more physical with me, but we eventually progressed to an agreeable level of physical contact. It's entirely your option as to whether you want to spend more time with this guy or not, but please don't prolong the situation just because you have nothing else going right now.
Wow, a 50-year-old virgin who didn't know how to kiss? I just couldn't do it lol.. I know some men may like sexually inexperienced women, but it just doesn't work the other way around..
Also if the genders were reversed we would probably take issue about a guy pressuring a woman to kiss or get intimate before he's ready. Just because this is a man doesn't mean he's ready to bed down immediately or else it means something is off with him. If it were a woman we would praise it and say she's virtuous for it.
It's going on already almost two months,, and no proper kiss only pecks!
Last edited by Rent.in.ny; 01-03-2022 at 04:09 PM..
I am listening and taking the advice here. I have plans with him coming up in a few days. I plan on having a very open discussion with him about expectations, his and mine, and seeing how that goes and his reaction. If things change, great. I'd they don't, I'm prepared to end it.
I am listening and taking the advice here. I have plans with him coming up in a few days. I plan on having a very open discussion with him about expectations, his and mine, and seeing how that goes and his reaction. If things change, great. I'd they don't, I'm prepared to end it.
That's good news, even if this won't be an easy conversation for either of you. I hope that it goes well and, more importantly, yields gradual results (and not just the kind of "lip service" that you *don't* want from him).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
That's good news, even if this won't be an easy conversation for either of you. I hope that it goes well and, more importantly, yields gradual results (and not just the kind of "lip service" that you *don't* want from him).
Some lip service would be long overdue progress
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