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So now you're demonizing both HIM and US? Based on not agreeing with you? THIS is part of your issue - you run hot and cold and can turn on a dime.
But what is completely juvenile is having to make him out to be a total a-hole in all this. At this point, if it is really just a matter of incompatibility do you have to assume the absolute worst given very little knowledge of him? And given how quickly you got over the last guy, why do you keep going over and over THIS guy and why he feels and why he did such and such. You don't NEED to know the reason or to figure it out because you've already rejected him - done, finito, never texting him again.
I know. We are just having a conversation here. I am not that invested.
But just laying all the facts out, like cards on a table and looking at them and assessing.
I have been run over the coals in this thread because my idea of a good 2nd date was to go to a restaurant I love just over the border. People have acted like I'm the antichrist for even suggesting it. Yet I am the one being juvenile or whatever to you. I don't know man.
I don't think I'm buying what you're selling.
A few posters have given very level headed and reasonable replies here.
I am certainly takimg everything under consideration.
But.....I just don't know man......how many people have run off at the mouth with racist undertones. I mean you don't see it?
I am not demonizing him or anyone. But I am sensitively attuned to racism.
I so do want to give him and you all the benefit of the doubt.
I know. We are just having a conversation here. I am not that invested.
But just laying all the facts out, like cards on a table and looking at them and assessing.
I have been run over the coals in this thread because my idea of a good 2nd date was to go to a restaurant I love just over the border. People have acted like I'm the antichrist for even suggesting it. Yet I am the one being juvenile or whatever to you. I don't know man.
I don't think I'm buying what you're selling.
A few posters have given very level headed and reasonable replies here.
I am certainly takimg everything under consideration.
But.....I just don't know man......how many people have run off at the mouth with racist undertones. I mean you don't see it?
I am not demonizing him or anyone. But I am sensitively attuned to racism.
I so do want to give him and you all the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, thanks so much for your tolerance and consideration. BTW, no one has acted like you're the "antichrist", the same as no one has had any racist undertones in their replies. What I DO see is that your idea of "level headed and reasonable replies" are those that agree with your POV. Anything else you consider silly or running off at the mouth. That says more about you than those responding to you, IMHO.
Oh, thanks so much for your tolerance and consideration. BTW, no one has acted like you're the "antichrist", the same as no one has had any racist undertones in their replies. What I DO see is that your idea of "level headed and reasonable replies" are those that agree with your POV. Anything else you consider silly or running off at the mouth. That says more about you than those responding to you, IMHO.
Its not that black and white.
I am not going to tabulate each reply and make a spreadsheet or anything.
There has been a broad spectrum of replies. I hope most people can see I have carefully considered and replied to as many as I can?
I know I have taken each reply and sat and thunk a bit and many have given me food for thought.
Thank you all for the feedback. The ones who have given good feedback I think you know who you are and thank you truly.
But that said you are right, I am sieving through prospects with a tight sieve.
I am not trying to just make it work with someone. I want an effortless match. I don't want to have to work on a relationship now at this time of my life.
Maybe this is what being set in your ways means. I own it. I know what I want and don't want to give up the things I want just so I can say I have a boyfriend.
I didn't read through most of the other 200 posts, but you sound just like me. It so can happen. My husband and I were an effortless match. We just showed up in each other's life serendipitously and it was like we were made for each other.
He has since passed away and though I am open to the idea of a relationship again--it will not be with just anyone but has to be that same kind of feeling and same kind of effort. Or, I'll happily remain on my own.
And I'm way, way more pickier than what you've described. The chances of me ever finding someone again that meets all my criteria are next to nothing. But, I have the things I want in a partner. And as you said, I know what I want and will not give up the things I want just so I can be with someone. That is a recipe for disaster and likely the main reason why many relationships and marriages fall apart. You know it when you know it and it could be that a good number of people get together out of a desire to not be alone. You and I are definitely not one of those people.
But.....I just don't know man......how many people have run off at the mouth with racist undertones. I mean you don't see it?
I am not demonizing him or anyone. But I am sensitively attuned to racism.
I so do want to give him and you all the benefit of the doubt.
I see zero evidence of racism.
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