Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think the label narcissist is thrown around way too liberally, but regardless: he was not a great guy to you over all.
He is now engaged to someone else. (I'd ask how "long and drawn out" this relationship has been but it really does not matter.)
If anything, he should be thankful that you "let him go" so that he could find his fiancee. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing even when it was difficult.
I think the label narcissist is thrown around way too liberally, but regardless: he was not a great guy to you over all.
He is now engaged to someone else. (I'd ask how "long and drawn out" this relationship has been but it really does not matter.)
If anything, he should be thankful that you "let him go" so that he could find his fiancee. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing even when it was difficult.
I think the same thing about people throwing diagnoses out there when there are so many disorders and some are not really narcissistic. Like Borderline personality disorder. Really? So their personality is about to explode or something? Not everyone is a narcissist and not every strange person has BPD. Sometimes people are perfectly "normal" but different than other people. So what? Makes the world more interesting but doesn't mean they are mentally ill.
I just feel a bit disappointed and saddened with everything because he has the potential to be a great guy but apparently not to me.
You shouldn't be. He wouldn't be good for any mature non-narcissist who doesn't want drama in her life. Maybe he would be good for another narcissist, I don't know; but unless you are one too then you shouldn't feel disappointed and saddened that you're not with him. You should feel relieved that you don't have to deal with all that garbage.
Have you tried counseling to help with your feelings of guilt? You shouldn't feel guilty about what you said to him either. Narcissists often manipulate people into feeling such a way so it may be him playing on your feelings there; however you're allowing him to do that. It could be how you wound up with him in the first place; narcissists may be able to sense people who are more easily able to be manipulated.
I think the label narcissist is thrown around way too liberally, but regardless: he was not a great guy to you over all.
He is now engaged to someone else. (I'd ask how "long and drawn out" this relationship has been but it really does not matter.)
If anything, he should be thankful that you "let him go" so that he could find his fiancee. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing even when it was difficult.
When someone refers to someone as a Narcissist I usually assume that person knows that person has been diagnosed.
I have been called out on here for armchair diagnosing a Narcissist...... when the person I was talking about .....had been diagnosed by a professional with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
That was annoying and just derailed from the thread and was an obvious attempt to just turn the problem around on me instead of sticking to the issue at hand of dealing with an actual Narcissist.
If someone is just opining that someone else is a Narcissist with no professional input, I hope they would clarify that. But it can still be just a short cut way of saying "These are the behavior patterns happening here," instead of having to list off a bunch of dysfunctional behaviors each time someone wants to ask a question about a toxic person.
You need to block him and never communicate with him again. He will never change. The person you loved does not exist. It was all an act, and he will become someone else for the next person.
I think the label narcissist is thrown around way too liberally, but regardless: he was not a great guy to you over all.
He is now engaged to someone else. (I'd ask how "long and drawn out" this relationship has been but it really does not matter.)
If anything, he should be thankful that you "let him go" so that he could find his fiancee. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing even when it was difficult.
Up to 5% the population has narcissistic personality disorder. Extropolate that out to 248 million Americans, and 8 billion people on earth, and that's a lot of people. Also, estimates are that 158 million Americans, more than half the US population, have been exposed to narcissistic abuse.
You need to block him and never communicate with him again. He will never change. The person you loved does not exist. It was all an act, and he will become someone else for the next person.
Considering that this is the third thread on this guy, going back to July of last year, I doubt the OP is finally moving on. In fact she admits on this thread that she broke her own rule and responded back to him.
I'm being brutally honest here, but if the OP were truly genuine about moving on, she would have long ago. Sadly, some people are just drawn to that sort of drama in their lives, it's almost like an addiction where they thrive on it (which is why it's so hard for them to move on). I assume this is the same guy that the OP mentioned on another thread that gave her two communicable diseases and treated her badly in other ways (and she herself didn't exactly behave appropriately at all times either).
When someone refers to someone as a Narcissist I usually assume that person knows that person has been diagnosed.
I have been called out on here for armchair diagnosing a Narcissist...... when the person I was talking about .....had been diagnosed by a professional with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
That was annoying and just derailed from the thread and was an obvious attempt to just turn the problem around on me instead of sticking to the issue at hand of dealing with an actual Narcissist.
If someone is just opining that someone else is a Narcissist with no professional input, I hope they would clarify that. But it can still be just a short cut way of saying "These are the behavior patterns happening here," instead of having to list off a bunch of dysfunctional behaviors each time someone wants to ask a question about a toxic person.
I have actually seen a therapist and talked about this guy and how he treated me and interacted with me. My therapist said he appeared to be narcissistic or at minimum definitely had narcissistic traits.
He's hands down the worst guy I've met. I can say this in moments of clarity. I do feel that people get caught on whether or not the label of naricissism is appropriate. In this case I think it is. There is just too much about this ordeal for me to type in a forum. I feel like I have been through an emotional war with this guy that I am still trying to heal from.
Considering that this is the third thread on this guy, going back to July of last year, I doubt the OP is finally moving on. In fact she admits on this thread that she broke her own rule and responded back to him.
I'm being brutally honest here, but if the OP were truly genuine about moving on, she would have long ago. Sadly, some people are just drawn to that sort of drama in their lives, it's almost like an addiction where they thrive on it (which is why it's so hard for them to move on). I assume this is the same guy that the OP mentioned on another thread that gave her two communicable diseases and treated her badly in other ways (and she herself didn't exactly behave appropriately at all times either).
I can appreciate you trying to be direct. Yes, I have posted on this guy before. My actions haven't been perfect. But, nobody is perfect. No, I am not drawn to drama. This has just been my first and hopefully only toxic relationship that I have struggled profusely and failed at untangling myself from. As for your comments I hope you are intending to just be honest as opposed to judgemental. But, then again I did put myself out there for criticism
I can appreciate you trying to be direct. Yes, I have posted on this guy before. My actions haven't been perfect. But, nobody is perfect. No, I am not drawn to drama. This has just been my first and hopefully only toxic relationship that I have struggled profusely and failed at untangling myself from. As for your comments I hope you are intending to just be honest as opposed to judgemental. But, then again I did put myself out there for criticism
It looks to me like that guy was gaslighting you. It can be hard to recognize that you’re being gaslighted and hard to move on from it. They lie to your face, may lie to your friends about you because you dare to call them out on their lies, and generally enjoy stirring the pot. From what I’ve seen from gaslighters is that they may only gaslight a person or two at a time, so they seem absolutely charming to almost everyone else.
I went to grad school and was in a small group of students that had way too many of them and it did get a little entertaining when they were all trying to gaslight each other. I really don’t think anyone in that group was unaffected. It certainly isn’t something that happens only to people who are dating, as this gaslighting was almost but not entirely related to friendships. I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. I think people feel like they can’t be drawn in until it ends up happening to them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
instead of sticking to the issue at hand of dealing with an actual Narcissist.
