Am I the dating version of radioactive? (woman, love, family)
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OP, please do not change yourself into a 'jerk' because you will not attract the kind of women you *really* want to attract. Basically, be your BEST self and don't try to mold yourself into what you may *think* women want. Women are not a hivemind, meaning women want many different things.
Just be your BEST self and don't focus on 'getting' a partner - many times it happens when you are *not* looking.
I do try to be my BEST self (when I was younger I know I did tend to blurt out things that came off as mean, but I have filtered myself pretty well).
The last part I can't do because I am terrible at picking up signals. I dont understand why if I am single and want to be involved with someone, why would I "not" look?
How many people have you dated on OLD? They say you need to meet around 100 people to fine ONE that you click with.
Have you tried getting involved in community activities, joining hobby groups, outdoor activity groups/clubs, Parks Dept. activities, etc. as a way of meeting people? Sure, it takes patience, but so does OLD, as your OP demonstrates.
And since when is 5'7" "short"? 5'6-5'7 happen to be my favorite height in a guy. But maybe OLD is so focused on the superficial, that 5'7 is a liability in that environment. Still, there are women looking on OLD for a partner, who look past superficial things. It's a matter of waiting until one of those joins the venue you're on, and finds you. How long have you been on there?
OP, please do not change yourself into a 'jerk' because you will not attract the kind of women you *really* want to attract. Basically, be your BEST self and don't try to mold yourself into what you may *think* women want. Women are not a hivemind, meaning women want many different things.
Just be your BEST self and don't focus on 'getting' a partner - many times it happens when you are *not* looking.
Nope. No advice.
Any man who is basically saying "Women only like the bad boys" is old hat. And there's already a thread on bad boys. Anyone saying he's not attractive to women because he's too nice is actually misogynistic.
Oh! Oh oh! OP, here's your advice. Examine your attitudes.
I do try to be my BEST self (when I was younger I know I did tend to blurt out things that came off as mean, but I have filtered myself pretty well).
The last part I can't do because I am terrible at picking up signals. I dont understand why if I am single and want to be involved with someone, why would I "not" look?
Many times it happens by chance. I met my partner when I wasn't looking - it just 'happened'. Sometimes we meet people and something 'happens' between when we don't expect it and we aren't actually looking for it.
You say you do not pick up signals, understand 'clicking', etc. Have you seen a counselor or therapist to talk about this? Do you have family/friends you may be able to discuss this with?
My *guess* is that you may be on the autism spectrum and that you may wish to consider a professional to help you with it. Frankly, you're not going to get much in the way of help from here, as you may have seen, sad to say.
Where in RI are you? I moved to RI when I was about 45 and found it really active dating wise. Bumble and OKC worked best, but met people at E&0s, Dusk, Water Fire, Ogies, Long Live, etc to date as well. If you're not in PVD, you may need to travel here as the hinterlands (with maybe the exception of Newport) are pretty lacking.
I dont like meeting people in bars, just not comfortable doing so. Have been to those places you mentioned.
Any man who is basically saying "Women only like the bad boys" is old hat. And there's already a thread on bad boys. Anyone saying he's not attractive to women because he's too nice is actually misogynistic.
Oh! Oh oh! OP, here's your advice. Examine your attitudes.
Any man who is basically saying "Women only like the bad boys" is old hat. And there's already a thread on bad boys. Anyone saying he's not attractive to women because he's too nice is actually misogynistic.
Oh! Oh oh! OP, here's your advice. Examine your attitudes.
Never said I was too nice..........
And it would obviously be nice if women didnt actually like bad boys (or guys liking bad women for that matter).
Many times it happens by chance. I met my partner when I wasn't looking - it just 'happened'. Sometimes we meet people and something 'happens' between when we don't expect it and we aren't actually looking for it.
You say you do not pick up signals, understand 'clicking', etc. Have you seen a counselor or therapist to talk about this? Do you have family/friends you may be able to discuss this with?
My *guess* is that you may be on the autism spectrum and that you may wish to consider a professional to help you with it. Frankly, you're not going to get much in the way of help from here, as you may have seen, sad to say.
I dont understand that line of thinking at all. In the past there were people that were interested in me but I had no idea (and there were some who were interested but I was not interested in them).
I don't feel comfortable to explaining this to family/friends. A few years ago when I was in a long term relationship I did see a couples counselor and I did bring up some of the not picking up signals stuff (my ex was always mad that she had to "prompt" me to do certain things but that is probably something that would go on a different forum lol) but the counselor didn't help at all.
I am actually struggling a little to talk about this now.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by festivusTime
I dont like meeting people in bars, just not comfortable doing so. Have been to those places you mentioned.
Well, lots of events happen at places with alcholol, shows, trivia nights, karaoke, all places to meet people. Heck, had a schort relationship with someone I met at a Drag King show at Askew.
One of my friends met her BF at the volleyball league that meets at that space next to Kennedy Plaza.
Not knowing what your scene is, its hard to give solid advice for RI.
And it would obviously be nice if women didnt actually like bad boys (or guys liking bad women for that matter).
There you go again.
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