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Don’t give up on your marriage, as the man you are the head of the relationship and counseling with the right therapist might help you both regain perspective. Stand firm in your beliefs, and take a stand. Tell her that the accusations of her conspiracy theories has to stop now. Give her an ultimatum that if she doesn’t value the commitment to the marriage she can leave. Don’t entertain that foolishness anymore. It’s insane how some people really believe it, however it doesn’t change any facts/truth. It’s not possible for you to be the cause of her blood disorder and the insanity must end. Life is too precious to live in such a state of chaos and confusion. Separate if need be, don’t divorce. Ultimately she has to value you and you her, otherwise separate for the sake of peace. Always remember scripturally you are the leader in this relationship not the follower. May God bless and help your marriage. Peace be.
Wow. Thanks for these words. Its been a tough couple years because of the conspiracies.
Its interesting that you say "don't divorce" but suggest me staying strong to what I believe. I think divorce should be a last option as well. But I agree I need to stay strong and make sure my viewpoint is heard. There is so much BS out there, my wife has been sucked into it. FTR, I could careless if anyone got the vax or not. But when it impacts our marriage by her blaming me for the blood issues is when I get upset.
Hello all,
I'm heartbroken. Been married for 21 years. The first 18 years were really good. Covid changed my wife (and she says I've changed). Anyway, long story short she has become very far right politically, while I'm more moderate/lean right. She has gone down the conspiracy rabbit hole on so many things that never came to pass in the crazy covid world.
Fast forward to vaccine time. I got vaccinated a year ago this past August for work (August 2021). She is not vaccinated. I have not taken any booster shots.
My wife has a genetic blood disorder- too much iron in her blood and it needs to be dumped every so often. She is convinced her situation has flared up because I received the vaccine. It hurts me that she believes this. She doesn't get what this is doing to me. She is studying to become a holistic health counselor- she thinks she's an expert. I tell her you can take any topic and prove both sides on the internet with all of the BS on the internet. She will only look only at her side (confirmation bias).
We are both spiritual. I'm talking to a few close Christian friends. I have the scriptural verses and am in prayer on it. Does anyone have any thoughts here? Its been going on for almost three years (conspiracies) and I'm exhausted with the latest (me causing the blood issue). I hate thinking of separation which could lead to divorce. But both of us are miserable though, and it hasn't changed with years of prayer., and counseling
We have three kids 19, 17, 15. Any thoughts from anyone would be great. I really appreciate it.
Maybe you should get an opinion from people of different faith or no faith. Conspiracy theories seem to be more popular among certain groups with many associated with religion.
For me, I have to picture a future with my spouse, and if I don't, then our day-to-day dealings have to be honest and productive. So if my husband believes that I did something that hurts him and it is not something I can undo, but I make sure to take care of other aspects of our relationship, then my husband is responsible for his feelings. That may include him leaving me. However, if he chooses to stay married to me, he is not to make that original point again, and if he does, there are several options I can take. One of those options is to separate. Most of the time, I just remain silent and then he remembers my desire to maintain a productive relationship.
So in your situation, if my husband believed that my vaccination causes him harm, then he needs to take steps to protect himself. Otherwise, say it once, let's discuss, make a decision, and then don't bring it up again.
So you think religion is not the same thing? How can Reason and Logic can be applied to religion? When people 'get' religion, you think they dont go down THAT rabbit hole and lose all perspective, become as-you-say self-delusional and never return to 'normality' ? I think they do.
Unfortunately for me and for you, people in both groups, people with religion and people with conspiracy mindsets, think they are correct and how can anyone NOT in those groups think otherwise.
This is a case of pot calling kettle black.
To the OP - this is my belief, see what you think...
I believe we are in a relationship to grow together from being with that other person. Like 2 friends studying the same subject on the same course, one can help and encourage the other.
There comes a time occasionally when one or the other in a relationship gets ahead or behind with the coursework and there is no longer an opportunity to learn from each other - like one is doing advanced math and the other is not at that stage yet. This means that one needs to seek another teacher or partner to continue on the course. No amount of marriage counselling will sort out the difference.
In my experience, more spiritual growth of one partner often means they need to split and seek another person with whom to continue to advance on their spiritual journey.
Wholeheartedly agree with this. I have a hard time understanding how people will call conspiracy theorists crazy for thinking it causes lupus (or whatever) yet believe there is a man living in the clouds (?) who controls all things through magic or mystical powers. They are equally "out there" in my book. Judge away.
For me, I have to picture a future with my spouse, and if I don't, then our day-to-day dealings have to be honest and productive. So if my husband believes that I did something that hurts him and it is not something I can undo, but I make sure to take care of other aspects of our relationship, then my husband is responsible for his feelings. That may include him leaving me. However, if he chooses to stay married to me, he is not to make that original point again, and if he does, there are several options I can take. One of those options is to separate. Most of the time, I just remain silent and then he remembers my desire to maintain a productive relationship.
So in your situation, if my husband believed that my vaccination causes him harm, then he needs to take steps to protect himself. Otherwise, say it once, let's discuss, make a decision, and then don't bring it up again.
Interesting take. What if one of the protective measures your husband takes is not to be intimate?
Our girls (17 ,15) side with her in terms of what she believes in regards to the vaccine (and me causing the blood issue). Our son (19) does not.
That’s interesting. The issue of your two younger children believing this point sheds (pun intended) light on how they would react if you were to leave the marriage at this time. I liked another post recommending that you do your best to educate your family on this “shedding” issue as far as the covid vaccine. If you decide to divorce, I hope you are able to have family counseling with your children involved before the divorce so you have a shot at having healthy adult relationships with your kids.
Interesting take. What if one of the protective measures your husband takes is not to be intimate?
I don't consider that a protective measure unless that was part of a plan to separate. It could also be part of a plan to wait until she feels that your vaccination is no longer a concern. So you would have to be patient. Either way, a decision has not been made together which I think is a necessary component.
Wholeheartedly agree with this. I have a hard time understanding how people will call conspiracy theorists crazy for thinking it causes lupus (or whatever) yet believe there is a man living in the clouds (?) who controls all things through magic or mystical powers. They are equally "out there" in my book. Judge away.
Isn't believing in a bearded guy in the sky spying down on us to decide who's naughty or nice the ultimate conspiracy theory? I don't think the people who are disparaging conspiracy theorists are the same people who believe in beings living in the sky keeping a log of everyone's behavior in order to doom people to fire and brimstone after they die. I think there's a lot of overlap between the belief-in-sky-god people and the anti-Covid-vaxx conspiracy theorists.
JMHO.
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