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You know what I have noticed about women who complain that they cannot find a man/get intimacy with a man?
It is usually not because they are genuinely undesired/invisible to the opposite sex (which is usually the case for men). It is typically due to them having deep insecurities, or a deep distrust in men.
Or the elephant in the room. Unrealistic standards.
I am in my mid30s and have been single for 6 years. Friends continue to drop like flies because they keep getting hitched. Recently, I met some single women and we started going out on the weekends. It was another opportunity to socialize and meet people, put myself out there. These girls are now also paired (or having affairs) and I find myself feeling alone and left out again. I had plans Friday and Saturday with friends, and both cancelled to be with their boyfriends/husband. This was deeply triggering for me and I've been feeling low ever since.
I feel left on the sidelines because friends find partners. This makes me feel ****ty about myself. I also want these things, and yet somehow I'm always the single one. Worst is when people ask "why are you single?". This is infuriating, because if I knew, I would do something about it. I am ready for the next step in my life.
What do these women have that I don't? I continue to put myself out there, meet people, go on dates, and I can't help but feel like something is wrong with me. I want intimacy, I want closeness. I've been ready for years. Friends telling me "dating sucks" doesn't help, because it doesn't suck for them (they're all paired.... literally, I don't know 1 single person).
How to cope? My life is already filled with a profession I love, healthy habits, hobbies, taking courses, personal development, etc. I'm a practical, educated, attractive, whole woman in good physical and mental shape. Why, then, is love so elusive?
You feel left on the sidelines? Wait till you see how your friends that are having affairs feel. Crazy
Unrealistic standards. Why many men are giving up. My general guidelines are Be a decently functional adult, be faithful, have a compatible life, be pleasant to be around.
Typical standards I've seen from women, Be tall, muscular, handsome, high a 6 figure income, have all the same interests, be responsible, loyal, yet adventurous, spontaneous, humorous, interesting, empathetic, thoughtful, artistic, make me fell like a spark or lightening struck me on the first date, awesome in bed pretty much everything despite some of them being from diametrically opposite personalities.
Can't say I am surprised a couple of my colleagues at work were talking about looking overseas for love or settling for escorts. These are successful, responsible, mostly average looking men that are unfortunately boring to women.
Unrealistic standards. Why many men are giving up. My general guidelines are Be a decently functional adult, be faithful, have a compatible life, be pleasant to be around.
Typical standards I've seen from women, Be tall, muscular, handsome, high a 6 figure income, have all the same interests, be responsible, loyal, yet adventurous, spontaneous, humorous, interesting, empathetic, thoughtful, artistic, make me fell like a spark or lightening struck me on the first date, awesome in bed pretty much everything despite some of them being from diametrically opposite personalities.
Can't say I am surprised a couple of my colleagues at work were talking about looking overseas for love or settling for escorts. These are successful, responsible, mostly average looking men that are unfortunately boring to women.
I think a lot of men (like women) have too high of standards. Take my brother, age 36, never ever had a girlfriend. He had a few women interested in him in the past, 3 that I know about, but with all 3 he wouldn't date them because he said he wasn't attracted. All 3 women were heavy-set women and I think that's why he wouldn't date them . Meanwhile, he is a heavy-set guy himself.
What I have noticed about the longtime single guys on OLD is that many of them are shorter or are not very well-employed or don't own their own homes. I live in a place where most people over 30 own their own homes unless they are recently divorced and not owning a home is a red flag.
I feel bad for short guys and as a tall women, the short women annoy me because you get all these short 5'2 women only going for the tall guys above 5'10 and meanwhile you have tall women like me who have no tall men to choose from.
I saw a poster once that said something like, "The only commonality among your failed relationships is you." I took that partly seriously. Are you causing the same problems over and over, for instance, or making the same bad choices repeatedly or setting the bar way too high or...? But I took it partly humorously. It's true of everyone who dates and has relationships and isn't with a forever partner. Someone can tell me that they've been married 40 years...but maybe the spouse wants a divorce the next day.
You know what I have noticed about women who complain that they cannot find a man/get intimacy with a man?
That's not what I've noticed. The attractive single women that I've known that still seem to have trouble finding or keeping a man are the ones that are temperamental and difficult to get along with. It doesn't matter how pretty a woman is or how perfect her hip/waist ratio is, if she's a ibtch then eventually men will get sick of putting up with it and ditch her.
My wife sister: 5'7", dark hair, bright blue eyes, very very pretty but.........Yikes, the volatility!!! And she wonders why she's single at 37.
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